Page 100 of Santa's Baby

He doesn’t push me for words, just rocks me gently as my tears stream against his shirt, comforting me like he did when I last felt this kind of pain. When Kian gave his final goodbye, and I watched him walk away.

I don’t bother trying to wipe my tears away, just let them fall, gripping on to Josh with all my might, because he is my true constant. The person who’s been there for me through thick and thin. He’s the person I should have trusted with my secrets the very moment they started spiralling into madness.

Yet another thing I fucked up.

I’m still dressed up like an elf, but my grin at being Santa’s helper has been burnt to ashes.

Go!

That’s the word I hear in my mind. All I can see is Reuben’s mortified face as he sent me away.

“Come here, let’s get you settled,” Josh says when my sobs calm. He takes me by the hand and leads me to the sofa, andthere is Ella, with a pillow held to her chest as she looks at me with nothing but love in her eyes. She’s on the verge of tears herself, hurting for me, even though neither of them has any fucking idea what I’m hurting from.

I drop into my usual spot on the sofa, with Josh right beside me. He rests his hand on my knee and tells me to breathe. Calm. In and out, in and out. I listen to him, sucking in air through my nose and blowing it out through my mouth, trying to regain the use of words.

Both Ella and Josh are staring patiently at me, waiting for me to speak. I almost choke as I try.

“I fell in love with Santa. At the mall.” I gesture to Ells. “When me and you went that day, and I sat on his lap.”

“I remember,” she says. “The client with no bookings. Were you his first? The owner of the mall?” She pauses. “Oh crap, have you fallen in love with a client, Tiff? Has Orla found out or something?”

I shake my head, a fresh sob rising from my chest.

“He’s not just a client… the owner of the mall is a, um… he’s a…”

It feels so hard to say it, to admit what I’ve done.

“He’s a founder. Reuben Sinclair. He’s a founder, and I went back to the grotto, and I fell in love with him. And now it’s over. It’s all gone to shit.”

The pair of them turn as pale as Reuben was when I left him. Josh runs his fingers through his punkish hair, and looks over at Ella, the gothic beauty who knows exactly who I’m talking about.

“The mall?” he asks her.

“Yeah, we went shopping. Me, Tiff and Eb. We thought it would be fun to go in the grotto. Just a stupid game.”

“A stupid game, no shit.” He looks back at me. “And the prick has called it off now? Had his fill and turfed you out? I know youget these obsessive streaks, Tiff, but he’s the one who crossed the line if he fucked you over.”

I shake my head. “No. He didn’t fuck me over. It was the opposite.” My lip trembles as I speak. “He loved me.”

“Loved you?” Josh raises his eyebrows. “A founder dressed up as Santa in the mall sought you out, fucked you, and told you he loved you? And then what? Loverboy kicked you to the kerb?”

“No. It wasn’t like that!”

“Sure it wasn’t. What a fucking tosser.”

I love how protective he is. I have to smile at the way he grits his jaw like he’s ready to go and pick a fight with a lion to avenge me.

Ells shifts closer to him, resting a hand on his arm.

“Santa isn’t like that, Josh. He’s a really nice guy.”

He looks at her as though she’s as insane as I am.

“You’ve bought into this Santa crap as well? Seriously? He’s a fucking founder.” His eyes lock back on mine. “Did you know he was a founder when you fucked him?”

“Yes. I knew he was a founder the moment I met him in the grotto.”

“But you’d never seen his face. You’ve always been under a hood.”