Page 89 of Torn
“They’re hardly ever here.”
“We still want our own place. It’s not fair for Ember to have to live here with my parents and my brothers and my sister. She needs her own place so she feels like we have our own home. I want you to be my best man, too.”
“Well, fuck yeah.”
“And we want you to live with us.”
Whoa. He’s throwing way too much at me and making my head spin.
“Um, come again?”
“Live. With us.”
“Are you bent? Why would you want me to live with you?”
“Don’t you want to get out of your parents’ house?”
“Yeah, but aren’t you getting your own place so you can be alone? Me being there kind of defeats the purpose.”
“We want you to live with us. We can write more songs and practice more if we’re all together. And we’ll need some help with the baby. Kenzi loves you. You’re the only one who can get her to stop crying.”
I knew there had to be a catch.
“So you want me to be like a live-in babysitter?”
He laughs. “I guess. Like a manny. You can pay the cable bill and buy groceries and I’ll pay for everything else. C’mon, it’ll be fun.”
I make a few hundred dollars a month working for my father at his bike shop. The plan is for me to work there full-time after I graduate, at least until the band takes off and we’re living on the road. I can feel it in my gut—we’re going to make it big soon.
Asher does landscaping after school and on weekends, plus he gets an allowance from his parents just for existing. I think it’s ridiculous, but I don’t know what it’s like to come from a wealthy family, so I keep my mouth shut about it. So I guess we could afford an apartment. My mom will probably have a shit fit that her oldest baby is moving out, but she’ll still have my brothers and sister living there so she won’t be dealing with empty nest syndrome yet.
“Do I get my own room?” I ask. “Because I’m not sleeping on the couch every night. I don’t want my face where your ass has been sitting.”
“Of course you get a room. I’ll take you over there tomorrow so you can see it. There’s actually a loft upstairs, so you’ll be on your own floor with lots of privacy. You know, in case you ever actually date someone,” he hints, punching my arm.
“Worry about your own dick. Mine is fine.”
That’s a bunch of crap, though. My best friend is getting married and has a baby who is almost two years old and I haven’t even gotten laid yet. Even though meeting Ember totally accelerated Asher’s life plan, from where I’m sitting, he’s got everything.
KENZI
Being back home is bittersweet. I feel this way every time I come home from visiting Maine. When I’m there, I miss everyone here, but then when I come back home, I miss Aunt Katherine and the peacefulness of the Inn. Before I left, she had a long talk with me and asked me to come live with her and work at the Inn. The thought is very tempting. I just don’t know if I’m ready to leave my father or be that far away from Tor.
My bedroom feels empty without Snuggles in her spot by the window that she spent twelve years inhabiting. I’m grateful my father cleaned her cage and put it in the basement so I wouldn’t have to see it, so barren without her, as soon as I got home.
There was a tiny black organza bag on my nightstand when I got home yesterday, and inside it was a small tuft of her fur.
Underneath it I found a handwritten note:
I thought you might want to have this to remember her.
Love forever & longer,
Tor
Today I read the note again, my heart bursting with even more love for him over the incredibly thoughtful and sweet things he always does for me. I don’t even think that Tortriesto be this way; it just comes naturally for him.
I can’t help but wonder if he did things like this for Sydni. Or Lisa. Or are these gestures and sentiments only for me due to our long history? As selfish as it seems, I want this side of him to be only for me. Reserved for me alone and no one else.