Page 88 of Torn

“No. Things between her and me changed a few weeks ago. It happened kind of suddenly. My mind is completely fucked over it.”

“I’m sure it is,” he agrees. “And nothing like that happens suddenly, man. I think it’s been happening for a long time.”

The fact that it’s true makes me wonder if there really is something wrong with me. If I’ve been falling in love with Kenzi for years; what the hell kind of person does that make me?

“Asher’s like a brother to me, Lukas. I love him like he’s my own blood. I’d never do anything to disrespect him.”

“But… you love her, too.”

“I don’t want to hurt or lose either of them. But I can’t wrap my head around this ever having a happy ending.”

He leans back in his stool and lays his gun on the table. “Ivy’s twelve years older than me. A lot of people have a hard time with that. Hell, she had a hard time with it at first. I had to chase her around to make her see me formeand not as an age.”

I glance down at the design on my chest that’s half finished. Myplan is to show her when she comes back home from Maine. A long time ago I told her I would keep her drawing and her words forever. I’m sure neither one of us ever thought I’d have it marked on my body for the rest of my life, but I want this in a bad way.

“Kenzi is fine with my age. It’s harder for me. I used to babysit her. I feel like I should have my balls chopped off or get my head examined.”

He lets out a laugh. “Nah. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Everyone who knows you knows you’re a good guy. The heart wants what the heart wants, man. We don’t get to pick who we connect with.”

I shake my head with doubt. “Most days I think it’s best if I just walk away.”

“She’ll haunt you for the rest of your life, Tor. I gotta think that’s going to be way worse than facing the truth.”

“I really don’t know.”

“Want my advice? Work this out in your head. Ifyoucan’t accept your feelings, no one else is going to either.” He picks up his gun and goes to work on my chest again. “Talk to her. Figure out if this is something you guys are both willing to fight for. And if it is? Don’t let go. Asher will come around. He’s not going to let his little girl and his best friend out of his life, trust me. Asher’s all about love and family.”

That might be true but I don’t think Asher is going to be on board with me sleeping with his daughter, no matter how long we’ve been friends. He’ll rip my head off and beat me to death with it.

“Thanks, man. I hope you’re right. If I come up missing, my body is probably in pieces somewhere in the woods behind his house.”

“That’s not going to happen. If you need to talk, I’m here. Idon’t judge. And to be honest? I think you and Kenzi are good for each other. She’s a sweet girl and she’s kinda way beyond her years in a lot of ways. I don’t think she’d do well with a guy her age at all. Just my two cents.”

An hour later, I’m riding home with a piece of plastic taped over the evidence declaring that I’m clearly and stupidly in love with Kenzi Valentine. Lukas’s words definitely hit home. If I can’t accept my feelings for her, no one else will. Especially her.

I’m done being screwed with and treated like a yo-yo. I need someone who’s going to commit to me one hundred percent and spend the rest of my life with me. I want to start a family and put all crazy shit behind me. Can I really get that from an eighteen-year-old girl?

CHAPTER 21

Tor—age seventeen

Asher—age seventeen

Asher and I are in his father’s private home studio jamming when Ash drops this huge bomb on me.

“We’re getting married two weeks after we graduate.”

My hand freezes on my guitar and I stare at him sitting on a stool in front of the mic with a big grin on his face.

“Married?” I repeat.

“Yeah. We don’t want to wait. We’re going to get a small apartment in town; I already put a deposit down on it. We don’t want to live with my parents anymore.”

I blink at him like he’s insane. I can’t imagine why anyone wouldn’t want to live here for their entire life. His parents’ house is monstrous, with an indoor and an outdoor pool, sauna, freakin’ music studio, and bathroom for every day of the week. Not to mention a refrigerator that’s always stocked with food.

“Ash, you guys are living in a small mansion here. You have your own suite of rooms. You don’t even pay rent. Why would you want to move out?”

“Because my parents are always hovering.”