Page 72 of Torn
“I wanted to try something new. I’ve been friends with him for years, and I trust him. It’s no big deal.”
“So you just had to fuck him, too? Someone I know and have to see all the time? He’s Asher’s fuckin’ cousin. Was that your way of living out your fantasy of being with Ash? I hope you didn’t sleep with all his brothers, too. Have some fucking class.”
Mad tears brim in her eyes. “This isn’t fair, Tor. You never said you didn’t want freedom. We agreed when I was home, it was just us, but when I was on the road, we could both do what we wanted as long as feelings didn’t get involved. Now you want to throw it in my face? This is so like you, to not ever talk and then just blow up and try to blame it all on me.”
“You’re right. I should have said something years ago and put an end to it. I was so hell-bent on trying to make you happy thatI just let you do whatever you wanted. And I guess I thought that since you supposedly loved me, you’d stop after, I dunno, the first three guys maybe?”
“I didn’t love any of them. You’re the only one I’ve ever loved. You know that.”
“Whoop dee fuckin’ doo, Syd. Is that supposed to make me feel better?”
“Yes. Sex doesn’t matter. It was just stupid party fun.”
I turn my head up toward the ceiling and laugh. “Oh, I see. Well, how about a few months ago when you said you wanted to get married, because… wait a second, let me think on the exact words you used…Asher won’t ever let go of Ember and you’re tired of waiting around for him to give you a chance. So I’m just the next best thing?”
“I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Riiiiggghhht. It’s a good thing Ash has some morals and won’t touch you with a ten-foot pole or you wouldn’t even be standing here right now, would you? You’d be sleeping with him and forgetting all about me until you needed something.”
She glares at me and I know what I said is true; she’d definitely choose him over me.
“I’m not going to apologize for something you agreed to, whether you took advantage of it or not. Now that you’ve told me how you feel, I’ll stop.” She steps closer and runs her hands up my bare chest, clasping them behind my neck. “We’ll start over, then. With a commitment to each other. Maybe it’s time we take things to the next level.”
I refuse to put my hands on her. “C’mon, Sydni. Do you really think you can do that? Be gone for months and not fool around with someone?”
“I think so. You can meet up with me every few weeks. That’s what the other couples do.”
The thought of flying around the country to meet with her in hotels for nights of sex and rushed dinners and conversations, only to come back home alone, doesn’t exactly fit into the plan I wanted for my future.
Her pink-stained lips press against my chest, her hands tightening around my neck. I close my eyes, willing myself to enjoy her touch like I used to, hoping to feel a spark. When Kenzi touches me, my heart feels like it’s going to fly out of my chest. No matter where she touches me, even if it’s just my hand in an innocent way, I feel it everywhere. The euphoria of her spreads from my head to my toes, electrifying every inch in between, making me want to grab on to her and never let go. Her touch reaches right into my soul and friggin’ owns me.
Why, why, why am I thinking about Kenzi when I have a gorgeous woman trying to climb me like a tree right now?
Sydni’s mouth moves up to my neck, gently biting me, but the feelings don’t come. My dick is bored, and so am I. I’m completely numb to her. Grabbing her hands in frustration, I pull her off me.
“What’s wrong?” She comes back at me, reaching for my towel this time, but I push her away.Why are women always trying to pull my clothes off?I probably could make bank if I become a stripper at this point.
“I can’t do this right now.”
“Jesus, Toren. It’s been months.”
Hmm. It’s been months for me, but I wonder how long it’s been for her.
“I don’t care. I need some time to think.”
“So you’ll think about giving us another chance?”
“Maybe,” I reply, brainwashing myself so I’ll forget about Kenzi. “Let’s see if you can get through the entire tour without being with someone else. And when you get back home, I want you tohave a full STD panel done. Then we’ll talk about maybe starting over. And that’s a huge fuckin’ maybe, Syd, because honestly, I just don’t know if I can do this with you again.”
She lets out an exasperated sigh. “Fine. If that’s what it takes, I’ll give it a shot.”
I can’t believe she needs to give not screwing other mena shot. Like it’s going to be some kind of feat of extraordinary talent to keep her mouth and her legs closed until she can be with me, the guy she claims to love.
“Yeah, well, I won’t hold my breath.”
“You don’t have to be a jerk, Tor. I said I’d try.” She rubs at her nose. “And what about this dog and cat? If we get back together, I’ll be sneezing nonstop.”
I reach down to pet Diogee, who’s almost always at my side. “Then I guess you’d have to take an allergy pill. Or not come over. They’re not disposable. This is their home.”