Page 71 of Torn
“I have a key, remember?”
“Not anymore. I want it back.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yeah, I am. I don’t want you showing up whenever you feel like it.”
She pulls her keys out of her purse and unhooks my house key, slamming it down on the countertop between us. “Here. Happy now?”
“It’s a start.”
“What’s wrong with you? You never act like this with me.”
“I know, Syd, and maybe that’s been the problem. I let you have your way for too long and now I’m done.” She picked the wrong day to show up and try to make amends. I have way too much on my mind already to be adding her back into the mix.
“Have my way?” she repeats. “What the hell does that mean?”
“Are we seriously going to hash this shit out again?” I press the power button and the blender starts its angry racket of mixing, drowning out her voice. She stops talking and waits until I turn it off to start up again.
“I’m going on tour soon. I’d like to work things out before I leave.”
“Work what out?”
“Us.” She comes around the kitchen island to stand in front of me, her long fiery red hair almost reaching to her ass now. Her makeup is flawless, as always, with thick black eyeliner lining her eyes, the color of them mocking me today. Sydni has a thing for colored contact lenses and today she chose green, making me want to pull them out of her head because they remind me of Kenzi’s, only without the sparkle of the gold flecks hers have.
“There is no us anymore.”
“Why not? Is there someone else?”
The thick shake goes down my throat and almost comes back up again. There’s never been anyone else in the past. I focused on work, Devils’ Wolves, taking care of my family, and spending time with the someone else who I never realized was asomeone elseuntil right at this moment. The main reason I don’t want to give Sydni another chance is because I don’t want her anymore. I force down another gulp of the chalky drink as I face the cold, hard truth—the moment I kissed Kenzi, she became The One.Maybe she always was.
“Well?” Sydni prods. “Is it Lisa?”
“No. We’re just friends. I haven’t even slept with her. I sleep with this dog and cat every night.”
“Is that because you love me?”
“No, Syd. It’s because I love myself.”
She rolls her eyes at me, a gesture I despise. “You know I don’t care about who you fuck, Tor. I’d only care if you had feelings for another woman. Sex isn’t a threat to me, but I won’t share your heart.”
I stare into the fake eyes of the woman I spent years in a relationship with, wondering where we went wrong.
Downing the last of my drink, I place the cup in the sink before turning to face her again. I tighten the towel around my waist and lean back against the counter. I’d rather be having this conversation with clothes on, but I know she isn’t going to give me a few minutes to go get dressed. She’ll follow me to the bedroom and try to divert this conversation into other oral activities to distract me.
Pushing my wet hair out of my face, I say what I should have said years ago. “Syd, I never wanted an open relationship. Ever. It’s just not my thing.”
“Since when? We’ve been this way for ten years, Tor.”
I shake my head. “No. You wanted it that way. You wantedthe freedom to screw whoever you wanted while you ran around with the band and I had to stay home.”
She laughs and crosses her arms. “Come on, Tor. You got to bang anyone you wanted while I was gone. We both had fun. I think, as usual, you’re jealous that I’m living my dream and you gave yours up.”
“One time,” I admit through clenched teeth, furious over her last stab. “One fucking time I was with another woman and it made me feel sick. But you? I don’t even want to know how many guys you’ve been with under this free-to-fuck-anyone deal you tried to rope me into just so you could suck and fuck your way across the country.”
“I’m not a slut.”
“Then don’t act like one. I heard you slept with Vandal Valentine a while back. He’s a lunatic, Syd. His cheese has completely slid off his cracker. Ropes and chains? What the hell is wrong with you that you’d want to get in bed with that kind of crazy?”