Page 49 of Torn

“Chloe.”

Shit.“I wasn’t looking at her. She’s got the body of a twelve-year-old.” Unlike Kenzi, who suddenly has the body of a twentysomething who’s got my blood pumping wildly.

Why can’t she be one of those giggly, annoying teens with a horrible attitude who hates everyone? Why does she have to be so sweet and smart and beautiful and caring and independent and such a great listener and—

“Well, you better not be looking at my little sister.”

—and everything I want.

I quickly turn away from the window. “I wasn’t looking at anyone. I was spacing out wondering if that dog is trashing my house. Can we go? You take longer than a chick to get ready.” A thin sheen of sweat has covered my body as I fight my physical and emotional reaction to her. I’ve got a Kenzi-induced fever and I need to get out of here and away from her before I pass out.

Riding all day helps settle my mind and body. Something about the mountain air, the roar of my engine, and the endless clearblue sky always puts me in a good mood. Asher rides in front and I follow a few lengths behind. About three hours into the ride, we stop for lunch at an old roadside burger place, and I come damn close to coming clean and spilling my guts to Asher about what happened with Kenzi. I feel like pure scum betraying the trust of the guy who’s been my best friend for twenty-five years, who’s done more for me than anyone else, and trusted me with the most precious thing in his life. It’s eating at me day and night and I want this monster out of me.

“How’s the shop doing?” he asks.

“Great. The past two years have been the best we’ve ever done for profits. I was actually able to give my brothers a raise for once, so they’re happy.”

He nods around his burger. “Good deal. I think the new sign out front and painting the building really helped; it kinda breathed new life into it. People like that.”

“You’re right, it made a big difference. Pop never thought about things like that.”

“Marketing can be a bitch. Our PR team is on us to change our logo. I told them to go get fucked. I’m not changing it.”

Ash and I designed the scrolling A&E Ashes & Embers logo when we first started the band way back in high school. I never cared that the band name was a play on his and Ember’s names. It fit perfectly.

“I don’t blame ya. It’s been the brand since day one. The fans recognize it. Shit, how many people have it tattooed on them that we’ve seen?”

“Exactly. The logo stays. It’s us.”

“It’s you.”

He leans back in his chair and shakes his head. “No, man. It’s always us. Just because you and Ember aren’t in the bandanymore doesn’t mean shit to me. We started it. It’s our baby. I’d have none of this without you. Don’t think I ever forget that, because I don’t.”

“We’re equal, Ash. Where would I be without you? Broke? In prison? Dead, maybe? I wrote some songs. Big deal. You’ve bailed me out of a mess a hundred times. You don’t owe me anything.”

“I know I don’t. I helped you because you needed it and you deserved it. People fall, we pick them up, right?”

“Right.” I finish my soda, still feeling sick. I don’t think Asher will understand my fall for his daughter.

By the time we’re done with lunch, I still haven’t told him about kissing her and I know I’m not going to because he’ll fucking despise me and I’ll never see him or Kenzi again. He’ll never forgive me or believe it was just a random heat-of-the-moment thing. Maybe I’m a coward or just a bigger selfish asshole than I ever thought I was, but I don’t think I can deal with losing them. The void that would leave in my life would be huge.

So I don’t tell him, and instead I promise myself that I’ll never give in to a moment of weakness or insanity around Kenzi again.

Ever.

I’ll learn to destroy the monster myself.

CHAPTER 11

My love,

I wished for you a thousand times,

and finally, you’re mine.

KENZI

The past two weeks have felt like an eternity. Longer than an eternity, if that’s even possible. I Googledwhat is longer than eternityout of curiosity and boredom, but it came up inconclusive, with the only real answer beingeternity means lasting forever. I liked how that sounded word-wise but not time-wise in relation to the unsettled feelings I was experiencing.