Page 48 of Torn

Her words convey comfort and confidence—not fear as I expected.

I don’t reply and a few minutes later, a text message comes through with a picture of a penny, and she’s typed the wordsI wish you wouldn’t worryacross it. The last thing I feel like doing is smiling, but I do, because that’s what she does to me.

Thanks, Angel.

Kenzi

No drinking. Promise me?

I shake my head at the phone. She knows me too well. Better than she really should.

I promise.

Kenzi

Good.

I breathe a deep sigh of relief as I toss my phone off to the side. We’ve silently agreed to pretend the kiss never happened.

Bullshit.

For the past two weeks, I’ve been lying low, working on my bike, landscaping my yard, and training this goofy white dog who almost got me killed and then led to me kissing someone my lips had no right to be on. When my mom told me no one ever came to claim the dog, I went over and adopted him and he stuck his head out the truck window on the way home with the wind in his face as we drove right past the place I saved him. I couldn’t let a beautiful dog like this sit in a concrete kennel recuperating with a broken leg, right? At least that’s what I told Mom.

We know the real reason, though. Because Kenzi fell in love with him in the back seat that day and now he has sentimental value. He witnessed our first kiss.

First and last kiss,I remind myself.First and last.

I haven’t talked to her since that day due to her having her wisdom teeth pulled out and then she came down with “the worst friggin’ cold ever.” At least that’s what her text message told me. I did go to her graduation and stood with her family like I always have, watching her take steps into adulthood. She didn’t say one word to me at the ceremony. In fact, she barely looked at me. I declined the invitation of going back to Asher’s house for a small party afterward. I felt too guilty being near her and all her loved ones, afraid someone would notice a difference between us or that I’d have a meltdown and admit what I did to all of them while we stood around eating cake.

Is she avoiding me? The possibility has crossed my mind several thousand times, and it hurts me in a way I can’t describe, but it’s the way it should be. I kissed a fucking seventeen-year-old girl.Seventeen. That little fact turns my stomach every time I think of it. She thinks of me as her uncle. I’m closer to her than herownuncles are. I’ve never once been even remotely attracted to anyone under twenty-one before, unless I was that age myself. But something about Kenzi is different. She doesn’t act or look her age at all. I’ve come to think of her as more of a friend than anything else over the past few years, and I have no idea how that even happened. Up until now, I never thought about our relationship as unhealthy or wrong. Now I’m second-guessing everything.

I’ve texted her pictures of the newly groomed and incredibly white fluffy dog, who I’ve named Diogee. She texted back that as soon as she feels better, she’s coming right over to play withhim and vacuum up all the white fur that’s accumulating in places of my house that I never thought dog fur could end up.

I have mixed feelings about seeing her again, and I try to convince myself it will be a good way to prove to myself that what happened was just a one-time mistake that will never happen again. But mixed in with that is hidden excitement and longing. I want to see her smile at me with those lips that tasted so delicious.Even if I can never taste them again.

I feel guilty as I’m walking into Asher’s house on this sunny Sunday morning. Today we’ve got a ride planned and we always meet up at his house. But now that I’m here, I feel like I have a big red mark on my face in the shape of his daughter’s lips.

“Hey, man, it’s a perfect day for a ride,” he says when I walk into the kitchen. “You want some coffee before we head out?”

“Nah, I’m trying to quit. It makes me jittery.”

He pulls two bottles of water out of the refrigerator and tosses one at me. “Let’s ride up to Cathedral Ledge. I got a new camera and I want to take some pictures.”

“Dude, every year you buy a new camera.”

“I know. I think I have some bizarre camera fetish. Do you want one of my old ones? I’ve got about five I think.”

“Thanks, but I’m good. If I want a picture of something, I’ll just use my cell phone. I can’t deal with all those buttons and settings.” I wander across the kitchen to look out the window while I wait for him to put his boots on, and that’s when I see Kenzi, Chloe, and Rayne sitting out by the pool, laughing like girls do. I have to force myself not to stare at Kenzi in cutoff faded denim shorts, bright apple-red bikini top, sunglasses on top of her head pushing her hair off her face, and black motorcycle boots on herfeet. It’s the little black leather boots that get to me the most and make my body twitch in ways it definitely shouldn’t be.

Fuck.I can’t escape this shit.

She looks like she just stepped right out of one of Tristan’s biker chick calendars he’s got hanging in his work area. As hard as I try, my eyes disobey me and take in the swell of her breasts cradled in the thin material, the perfect curve of her waist, to her belly button just above the hem of her low-cut shorts.

She’s not hot. She’s not hot. She’s not hot.

“She’s cute, but way too young, man,” Asher says, coming up behind me and slapping my back.

I blink rapidly. “Huh? Who?”