Page 140 of Torn

“Can you tell me who? It’s kinda sad.”

“Do you really want to know, Kenz?”

A twitch of fear burns in my stomach, but I nod anyway. “Yes.”

His dark eyes settle on mine and he lets out a small sigh. “It was about your mother. At least that’s what sparked the initial idea.”

I pick my head up off his leg and stare at him. “My mother?” I repeat. “I don’t understand. Did you write it for my dad?”

He lays the guitar on the floor next to the bed. “No. I wrote it for me.”

My mind starts to spin around with the rest of the lyrics of the song, about regrets, betrayal, and a love that never came to be.

I give my head a little shake. “I’m confused. You were with my mom?” My voice has taken on a waver that I don’t like. I’ve just stepped into territory I had no idea I was walking into and now I wish I hadn’t.

He shakes his head. “No. Never. But I liked her first. She was new to town and it took me a long time to get up the guts to talk to her. At the time, I thought she was the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen. I know it’s hard to believe now but I was really shy when I was young.”

Swallowing hard, I touch his arm. “I never knew that.”

“Yeah, I had asked her if I could walk her home, and we stopped at the park to get to know each other a little more, and I was just about to ask her out on a date when your dad showed up. The rest, as they say, is history.”

“What do you mean?”

“He just swooped in and I was instantly forgotten about. And that’s it. I went home and left them there, and they’ve been together ever since.”

A strange, sick feeling washes over me. I feel like I stepped in something wet and squishy while barefoot and have no idea what it is, and I’m afraid to look.

“So you had, what? A crush on my mother?”

He lets out a little laugh. “I guess so, yeah.”

“How come you never told me this?”

“What’s there to tell?”

“A lot, Tor. It’s my mother for God’s sake.”

He sits up and frowns at me. “Why are you getting upset?”

“Because it’s my mother. I feel weird. I had no idea you had a thing for her.”

“Kenzi, I was only fifteen years old. We were just kids.”

“The lyrics are pretty deep. It seems like you liked her a lot.”

“I did. She was pretty, and sweet, and she could sing. I had a hard time meeting girls I connected with. But I was no match for your dad. Even though we look alike, it stops there. I don’t have his irresistible charm.”

“That’s not true. You’re just different.”

“Trust me, I know,” he says, his voice laced with bitterness.

I sit up and reach for my clothes, feeling very displaced suddenly. “So what about all the years you lived with us? You were with her all the time. Didn’t it bother you?”

“A little at first, I guess, but I was happy for them. They were both my best friends. I loved them both and wanted them to be happy.”

I stare at him as more memories flood my mind. “I remember when I was little there were times you would sleep on the bed with her. What about that?” I never saw them touch, but it does seem odd to me now that they would lie on a bed together.

“She used to get really bad migraines from being on the pill. If your dad wasn’t home, she’d ask me to lie on the bed next to her when she felt sick because she used to pass out. She hated to be alone. Your dad knew about it. Shit, I’ve slept in the same bed with him, too, Kenzi. You know how close we all were. We did everything together.”