Page 101 of Torn
“It might even be better than the little house with the porch and the picket fence,” she adds.
“They both sound great, Angel. I have no doubt you’ll have one or the other. Or maybe even both someday.”
She turns to me. “It would only be great if you lived in them with me.”
I try not to fall off the ledge we’re sitting on. I hate that she has the ability to completely rock me with just words.
“You’re only eighteen, Kenz. You’ve got lots of time to think about where you want to live and who you think you want to live with, trust me.”
She lets out a short huff. “You’re never going to think of me as an adult, are you?” she accuses, trying to pull her hand out of mine. I hold on to her, not letting her go.
“That’s not true, Kenzi. Idosee you as a beautiful, mature, sensual woman. But I also see the little girl I watched grow up, and sometimes it’s hard for me tonotsee her when I look at you. It’s hard for me to let her go. You have to cut me a little slack and try to understand that.”
She nods and chews her lip. “I’m sorry. I know this is harder for you than it is for me in a lot of ways. I guess I’m a little bit of a brat; I just want to be with you and forget everything else. So that probablyismy immaturity showing.”
“I wouldn’t say it’s immaturity. I mean, how can you help yourself when I’m so insanely irresistible, right?” I joke, trying to lighten up the mood.
Her mouth falls open and she starts to laugh. “Look at you, all in love with yourself,” she teases. “It’s true, though. There’s definitely something about you, Tor. Every girl I know drools over you.”
I lift our hands up and press my lips against her knuckles, holding her hand there. “I really only care what you think. They don’t see me like this. Only you do.”
Her hand starts to tremble with nervousness in mine, and I wonder if things ever went further with us if she would be a shaking bundle of nerves. I have to admit, a part of me likes that I make her so shaky. It makes me want to make love to her until she explodes and then calms in my arms. I want to watch and feel that transition something fierce.
“Can I ask you something personal?” she asks.
“Sure.” I kiss her hand again and wait for the shaking.One… two… shaking starts.My cock hardens like a rock in my jeans wondering where else she’s quivering.
“You’re not like this with anyone else? This sweet?”
“No. Never like I am with you. Not even close.”
“I’m glad,” she says. “I know I’m being a brat again, but I want that part of you all to myself.”
“Well, you got it.”
Her eyes settle on my mouth as it rests against her hand, and she licks her lips, wanting me to kiss her. I can feel it emanating from her like white heat.
I fight the temptation. “Just so you know… I’m not seeing anyone else. And I haven’t been physical with anyone in a long time. I don’t want you feeling like some side toy for me.”
Her gaze shifts up to lock with mine as she absorbs my words, and I watch the way the color of them changes in the sunlight from light green to a deep forest green.
“Are we seeing each other?” she asks, her voice wavering.
“I think we’re way beyond seeing each other in a lot of ways, Kenzi.”
“What are we, then?” I can barely hear her over the sound of the water, and I almost wish I hadn’t. I don’t know the answer to that question, and that’s what’s been shredding up my insides for months.
“I’m trying to figure that out, love,” I answer quietly.
That seems to satisfy her for now as she nods slowly and then looks back out at the water, but I feel like I have to say more.
“The thing is… I’m afraid of how much I want you. And need you. I want a lot, Kenzi. With you, I think it’s going to be way beyond anything I’ve ever felt before.”
“Is that bad?”
“I honestly don’t know. But I do know I’m looking for my last relationship, and you haven’t even had a first yet.”
“I already told you I want you to be my first and last everything, Tor,” she says softly. “I meant it.”