Page 38 of Evan

She believed that God answered her when she prayed, and it had been proven to her so many times – too many times to count. It had saved her throughout her childhood and kept her sane.

But now, words eluded her. She did not know what to say. She had allowed him to touch her in ways only a man who was her husband was supposed to. She had allowed him liberties that should be reserved for the man she married.

And she had no regrets. It would be hypocritical for her to ask for forgiveness, when she did not think she did anything wrong. Bowing her head she asked the Lord for understanding and direction.

“I am in love with him, Lord,” she whispered tearfully. “I just need you to tell me what to do.”

*****

His breathing was harsh, his t-shirt soaked with perspiration. The nightmare had felt so real that for a minute, he felt as if he was poised on the edge of a cliff, with no safety net.

He had been about to free fall when he jumped out of his sleep, his heard pounding heavily, his limbs trembling. Sitting up against the headboard, he dropped his face into his hands and took several deep breaths to compose himself.

It had to be the liquor, he ruminated. He had gone straight for the cabinet and plucked a bottle of scotch from the bar. Not bothering with a glass, he drank from the bottle, ignoring the burning inside his esophagus.

He had reached halfway into the bottle before he felt the churning in his gut. The alcohol had not anesthetized him, instead it had left him with a vicious headache and a weakness in his limbs. When he had finally fallen asleep, dreams had tormented him.

Dropping his hands, he lifted them again and dragged them through his sweat dampened hair. Was she asleep? He wondered achingly. He had said some hurtful things to her, and he should call and apologize.

To what end? The voice taunted him.

Are you willing to be what she wants you to be?

“I can’t.” He was not aware that he had said the words aloud until he heard his voice echoing around the room. “It’s for the best. She will find someone who will be all she requires in a man. I cannot be that man.” Swinging his legs off the bed, he went into his study to try and do some work.

Chapter 10

Prayer had always been a source of comfort to her. Even when she was a child, she had known the power of praying. Her mother had always been religious, making certain that her daughter attended Sunday school.

Unlike kids of that tender age, Cassandra had been fascinated by the teachings of the Bible and had always looked forward to going.

When she got older and tragedy struck, she had turned to the Lord, not for answers, but for comfort. She had learned to be serene, to put everything at the foot of the cross and leave it there.

But for the first time in her life, prayer was not working for her. Last night had been an abysmal failure. She had not been able to say a word. Getting up off her knees, she had climbed into bed and sat there in the darkness, thinking about him.

Yearning for him and feeling guilty that it had taken away from her fellowship with the Lord. Her Bible had remained unopened for the first time. Her thoughts were muddled and confused.

She had been tempted to call him, to tell him that he should come over or she go to his place. She had almost been willing to bend her principles and abandon the teachings of the Bible. And it had frightened her so much she had attempted to pray again.

She had always been able to avoid temptations of the flesh, because she had never met anyone she really liked that much. The guys in the church were just her brothers in Christ.

Several of them had approached her, but she had turned them down in such a way, they were not offended.

She was asking the Lord why. And she was questioning herself. Is it because she had never met a celebrity in person? Evan Davenport was a celebrity of sorts. He was a man of immense power and wealth. He exuded a confidence that was evident, even by just looking at him.

He was also very handsome. There was this aura of aloofness surrounding him. Was that why she was so attracted? Women often want to ‘save’ men, to be the one to break through the ice and find the weak spot, the vulnerable area. Was that the fascination she was feeling?

No! She immediately dismissed all of it. She loved him, she reasoned despairingly. She had known him for a short time, but she felt as if she had met him a long time ago. She loved talking to him. Felt an affinity for him that she had never felt with anyone else before. She had friends, lots of them or rather, people she liked.

She knew the names of everyone in the congregation and adored the children. But Evan had awakened something inside her – a fire that was raging out of control. A passion she had never known existed.

It was terrifying.

*****

“Pastor William!” Stirring herself out of her lethargy and misery, she looked up as the man came into her office, a haggard expression on his face.

“I could use some of that coffee, my dear.”