Page 71 of Run to Me

“My period is late. Or more like, it’s been three months since my last one.”

Three months since her last period. I remember her having it not long after she moved in with me and now that I think about it, she hasn’t had one since.

Holy shit.

There’s no way in fuck she’s not pregnant.

Did I do this?

No shit, asshole. How else would she get pregnant.

But it was only yesterday I was debating with myself on whether or not I should fuck with her birth control.

Well I guess there’s no need for that now.

Her eyes search mine, as if she waiting for me to freak out.

“You’re pregnant?” I ask, and I swear my voice breaks a little.

“I’m not one hundred percent sure, I’d have to do a test, but yeah it’s a high probability.”

I sit next to her and bundle her in my arms, peppering kisses across her forehead and in her hair as we wait for the doc to get here, two hours later he turns up and does a test.

Two pink lines.

One word.

Positive.

We’ve been back home for a week. We stayed on the island for another two days after the doc confirmed that Robyn is, in fact, pregnant. Those couple of days were spent with Robyn wrapping her head around the fact that we were having a baby, and I don’t blame her for being a little apprehensive at first, but luckily she realized that this is a gift, one she’ll always treasure.

I watch Robyn as she sits on the sand, looking out over the ocean. She hasn’t exactly been upset since we found out the news, but she hasn’t been herself either.

I debate between giving her space and seeing if she needs me. The latter wins out and I approach her, biting the inside of my cheek, not knowing how to make this better.

“Can I sit?” I blurt out and she startles as she looks up at me.

“Of course,” she says softly.

We sit in silence, both staring out at the view, one of which I didn’t think I’d ever see. I’d never planned on visiting this island. It had been so long since a member of my family had been here, I didn’t thinkanyone would ever come back here and I didn’t want my first time coming here to be without my dad and brothers at my side. It felt like if I was to come here, it was something I needed them to be here for. Now that I’m here? With the love of my life beside me, I know for certain I’ll be back, and maybe next time it’ll be with a family of my own.

“What do you need, angel?” I ask gently. I know I was debating fucking with her birth control before, but now that she’s actually pregnant and doesn’t seem... happy? Okay? I don’t actually know what to do. She might not even want to keep the baby, and that might fucking gut me, but it’s her body and her decision so I’ll just have to find a way to be okay with that.

“What do you mean?” She turns to look at me, a frown marring her pretty face as stares at me with concern in her eyes.

“I want a family with you, Robyn. Whether that’s now or in ten years’ time, that’s up to you. Or even if that family is just me and you… I want you to have whatever you want. You don’t seem happy about this pregnancy, and I get it, we haven’t been together long, I just don’t… I don’t know what to do to make this okay, I don’t want this to be the end of us.”

She reaches for my hand and squeezes. “I’m not going anywhere, Enzo. And I’m notunhappy,per-se. I’m... scared, I think. I don’t know how to be a mom, I don’t know how to navigate bringing up a child in your world, and I’m so used to feeling alone that I was only just getting used to having you, and now I’ll have to share you too. And that sounds selfish, but what if I disappear into the background like I have for my entire life?”

Her bottom lip wobbles as tears spring to her eyes and it fucking breaks me. Ruins me. Cracks my goddamn heart in two. Her family have a lot to answer to for the way she views herself. Yeah, I’ll love our child, but I’ll also love her more than anything, and the fact that she can’t see that makes me feel like a piece of shit.

Not because I think she thinks so lowly of me, but because she’s become so conditioned to thinking like that. I guess I’m just going to have to prove how important she is to me every single day until she doesn’t even think to question it.

I pull her over to me and she shifts so she’s straddling my lap and looking up at me. I cup her face with my hands and press a kiss to the corner of her mouth.

“I don’t think any parent has all the answers, but we’ll get through it together. You’ll always be the most important thing in the world to me, our child will only be an extension of that. I love you so fucking much that sometimes it physically hurts. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, I didn’t even think it was possible. I know it’ll be hard, but we have each other. I see you, angel. I always will. You’ll always have me.”

Once we got back home, Robyn made an appointment with her OBGYN—Imayhave given them an incentive to see us sooner—and it wasn’t long before we were hearing out baby’s heartbeat for the first time and seeing our little one on a screen. Robyn was right—of course—and is just over three months pregnant. We decided we don’t want to know the gender.