Page 52 of My Bully's Crush: Vol1

The song was kind of me putting all of that down and walking away, never to look back.It was freeing, liberating, and long overdue.So, even though the song had climbed the charts and still was, I needed time to mourn again, this time for the last time.

I guess I needed him to accept and let me go because even though he’d moved on, there was still a lot of unfinished business between us, and that, more than anything, was holding me hostage to a past that could never be revisited.

In all honesty, I find that it’s not that easy to move on even with the hurt and the pain that I still suffer and that I’ve come to realize is the price of a love lost.That searing pain may never disappear completely; I may always see his face in my dreams even as my life go on.But I have to find a way to move on and live with my new normal.

I’d come to all these conclusions in the last few days of seclusion.For the first time, the fact that I had said my last goodbye had given me the space I needed to mourn to put it all behind me and move on.Now I was ready to live again, to find love again, even though I knew that nothing would ever come close to the fiery passion I once felt for him.

Feeling like I’d exerted the best I had to offer in my dead relationship didn’t exactly give me much hope for what my future held, but hiding myself away, licking my wounds into eternity was not the answer.So even though there was a little part of me that hated the idea of moving on with anyone other than him, the bigger part of me knew and accepted that it was time.

I’d even written some new lyrics that heralded the new me, something to give to the fans who’d supported me throughout it all.My way of letting them know that I was ready to move on and that they didn’t need to worry about me anymore the way I knew they had been for the past five long years.

So, my time in solitude was not wasted.I hadn’t spent my days curled up in bed in the fetal position with tears and heartache as my only sustenance; that was progress, wasn’t it?

I’d finally come up for air only to find the house empty.I knew my aunt and uncle were going to be gone for a while, but Rachel was supposed to be home.She was probably having a girl’s night out since I’d been such horrible company these last couple of days, so who could blame her?

I’d barely made it downstairs to make myself a cup of tea when Sydney called to say she would be at the gate in ten minutes, and now here we are.“Who do you think….you didn’t have anything to do with this, did you?”

“I wish.Do you really think if I’d had that kind of information, that I’d have sat on it this long?No way.”

I looked back at the screen, this time focusing on the comments below each post.I never thought that I would see this.There was so much that I’d had to swallow because I knew the reach and influence of that family in this town.I’ll never forget what happened the last time I crossed the mother and what it had cost me.

It’s something I’ve never made mention of but had believed with all my heart all the same.I never thought it was a coincidence that after she’d overheard me cautioning Ryder about the church that we were all members of, my life had gone to hell.

I’d all but forgotten that little faux pas since she’d become overly friendly after that day, even going so far as to offer her managerial services.I guess she thought that since she’d done such a good job promoting her own offspring, I would jump at the chance, but even then, I could scent the snake in her and shied away from even having a conversation about it.

But then things started going sideways, and more often than not, her spawn was part of the mess; even though they went to great lengths to appear innocent after the fact, some of the things they did were blatantly obvious.But not once did I think that Mary had a hand in any of it or that she was, in fact, the one pulling the strings behind the scene.

At first, it had seemed too farfetched.Mary Hudson is a woman in her seventies; who would expect her to meddle in the lives of people more than half her age?Sure, she had a reputation for being ambitious and greedy, but so did half the people in this town.

It was only after I’d stopped grieving and had started putting the pieces together in my head that I revisited all of my dealings with her and her offspring and saw the signs.By then, it was too late, though, way too late.

I wasn’t kidding last time when I told Sydney that Janie’s actions were those of a Skinwalker, though thankfully, she thought it was a joke.That’s not something I want to be said out loud, not something I want to be associated with my name, or I’d end up back in the psych ward again.

But the more I thought about it on my own, alone in bed at night, the more I saw and felt that there was something dark and disturbing about the woman who had destroyed what happiness I had in life.Once I got over asking myself why and how things had gone down the way they had, I started seeing things that I’d overlooked because I had trusted Ryder.

There were whispers here and there, and I knew that Ryder had fooled around with her and the Hudson girls, or so it was rumored during the times we were on break from each other.But I never expected this level of black hat behavior, which I probably should’ve because she’s not the first to use outside interference to get what she wanted.

I just never saw Mary’s hand in the whole thing, and truth be known, I’m still not too clear on the particulars or which part she did play, but I know she had a hand in my demise.Now she was being dragged for all the world to see.The thing that was freaking me out, though, was the fact that this person seemed to be doing all this in defense of me.

I wonder how long before they claim that either I was the one behind it or that I’d hired someone to do it.Had I had these kinds of resources, I wouldn’t have waited five years to do it.Then again, had I known half of the things that had been posted, I probably wouldn’t have done anything with that knowledge because it would’ve taken me down a path I have no interest in treading.

I want no part in that kind of evil and never will.I strongly believe in letting things take their normal course and in treating others the way I wish to be treated.Does that mean that I don’t harbor thoughts of revenge every once in a while?Of course not.But I have better control than that; at least, I hope I do.

I’d made up my mind after my last health scare that I was going to live for myself and not get sucked into that hell again.I was back to steering clear of social media, and that’s why I didn’t know that this was going on, but I’m sure the phone will be ringing soon with reporters wanting a rebuttal or my take on what was going on.

The posts left a lot to unpack, from the madam allegations to the hints of more to come that would expose Mary’s part in my relationship being torn apart and some other sinister stuff involving her, Janie, and all who were involved in tearing Ryder and me apart.

I read that last one with much interest because I, too, wanted to see if there was any basis for my suspicions.And to think that someone else was doing the exposing and I had nothing to do with it made this whole thing all the sweeter.

Sydney’s phone made a weird sound in my hand, and I looked over at her as she stuffed another heaping spoon of ice cream past her lips.“What was that?”She held her hand out for the phone.

“It’s my new alert for whenever this MengeLiNi makes a new post.Let’s see what they’ve got.”

She scrolled through her phone and then held it up for me to read.

“To all Elena Gianni fans, you are not helping her but adding to her stress when you take part in these hate campaigns against the enemy.Maybe you should read the lyrics of her songs which are pretty much a blueprint for how she wishes everyone to be treated.”

“If you love her and want to support her, buy her music, her perfume, and support the clothing line she’s about to collab on.Be part of the solution, not the problem.“The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without a fight.”Sun Tzu.Figure out what that means and stop making her ill.They’re using you to destroy her because their evil knows no bounds.The stress will kill her.”