Page 51 of My Bully's Crush: Vol1

It was so sweet watching them get dogged out on the world stage that I almost forgot that I, too, was under attack from these unknown people who came out of nowhere to stick their noses in.But even my annoyance at the fact that yet another person was once again protecting Elena was overshadowed by the fact that they were destroying the Hudsons in the process.

Mary was in a rage, which I was sure she was, but doing a very good job of hiding it was a very scary thing.I’ve seen her destroy someone with her tongue one minute and praise them the next.The fact that the only reason I hated her was because she’s never accepted me, never treated me like one of them, even though I married a man with lots of money, was neither here nor there.

She’d made all these promises in the beginning, when all I wanted was Ryder, and she seemed like the only one who could help me fulfill that dream, but I’ve since come to learn that it was all a fairy tale.What she wanted was control; I still didn’t care, though, as long as I got to keep Ryder and make that bitch Elena suffer.

I bit back the moan of distress at the thought of her name and the idea that my husband could very well be by her side at this very moment since it had been months since I’d seen or heard from him.That’s why this whole fiasco couldn’t have come at a worse time.It was hard keeping track, let alone keep up with him, and only the coke and the pills I took were helping me get through the days and nights.

Why is this all happening?I thought things would be perfect once we got married.Ryder was always so high that he barely knew what day it was, but even as drugged up as he was, he somehow always remembered that he hated me.Something I didn’t know until after we were married.

He seemed to blame me because he couldn’t be with her.He has no memory of the things he screams out to me in his sleep or how heartbreaking it is to hear your husband, the man who was supposed to be yours for a lifetime according to the elders, calling out for another woman in his sleep while tears roll down his cheeks.

I’ve endured that hell for five years, and there’s no way that I’ll let anyone else have Ryder.Not to mention the embarrassment that I’d suffer if this should happen; everyone would laugh at me, not that they aren’t already, but that would be the final nail in my coffin.

I knew that if Ryder were in his right senses, he wouldn’t be here, and that is what bothers me most of all.If he wasn’t here where I could keep an eye on him, making sure he gets his daily dose of drugs to keep him unaware of what was going on around him, I might lose all the control I’d fought so hard to gain over him.

Mary had come through there as well.She knew people who knew things, who knew how to get things done.And these people were even better than my mom, who had played a big part in helping me get here.All it had taken was a photo of Ryder and the sweat from his palm when he shook my dad’s hand that first time so many years ago.

She’d done some other stuff as well back then, but it had been years since it all came to fruition, so I’m not so clear on all of it anymore.I just remember it being hell for my twelve-year-old self to wait to grow up so I could have what I wanted, what I’ve always wanted.Ryder.

Now things were out of control, and my dad was calling me every second, while this one had shown up looking for blood, no doubt.People like her never do anything without expecting something in return; another thing I’d learned too late is pity.

No matter what she says here today, though, I won’t let anyone take Ryder away from me.So, if she’s here once again to threaten to have him leave me and marry one of her daughters, I’ll just have to remind her that the whole world was now watching, and she and her daughters were no longer as they’d been a week ago.

The fact that they were losing ground fast and people were literally turning against them every second emboldened me, and for the first time, I felt ready to face her down.I would’ve done more coke, though, had I known that she was coming.

Chapter 31

*Elena*

“Are you shitting me?Is this real?”I kept looking back and forth from my phone screen to Sydney, who was sitting next to me on my bed, digging into a tub of ice cream like the world was coming to an end.She had the biggest smile on her face that had been there since she walked in half an hour ago.

“It’s the real girlfriend.I’d like to find this MengeLiNi person and give them a reward; they came prepared.I hear Mary and her demon spawn are catching their ass trying to do damage control, but I don’t see how they’re going to come back from this.”

“But how does this person know all of this?”

“I don’t know, but the receipts don’t lie.Maybe it’s someone close to them; who knows?They screw over friend and foe alike, and they must’ve pissed off someone by not paying them or any one of the other underhanded things they’re known for, but people were always too scared to say out loud.Whatever it is, whoever it is, I am here for it.”

I wasn’t sure how to feel about any of this.I’d taken some time away from the internet these past few days since the last uproar because the last thing I needed was stress.I’d all but locked myself away in my room when I wasn’t hiding out in the studio, scribbling furiously in my journal.

I don’t know what I expected when I wrote that song that I was sure Ryder would get the meaning of if he listened, maybe one last goodbye, not that we ever had the first, but something.There hasn’t been a peep out of him, but Janie and her cohorts have not been silent.

I doubt they deciphered the code; in fact, I’m sure of it and that their last attack stemmed from sheer jealousy of the mere fact that I was still alive, whichever.But I’d meant it when I said I was done, all the way done.It’s not like I owe him a goodbye anyway or a warning that I was ready to move on.

I don’t owe it to him, but we’d made vows to each other, though not binding in a court of law or anywhere except between the two of us, but they meant something to me.I’d meant every word when I said them.That’s why his betrayal had been such a heavy hard blow.Because I thought back then that he’d felt the same.I was sure of it.

I always thought I knew his heart, that I knew what he would not put me through, even with all of his shitty behavior.There were things we shared in the deepest part of the night, just the two of us, alone, things that were meant to be forever.

That song was basically letting him know that I was now ready to give up on my end of the bargain.It took longer than it should have, seeing as how he’d gone on with his life a long time ago.But that’s not how I do things.For me to truly go on and heal, I first had to let go of the woven dreams we’d shared.

Unlike him, who had just blasted his way out of our relationship in the most hurtful way possible, I had to take my time and not force myself to move on before I was truly ready.So much had happened since his wedding, my illnesses, my mental breakdowns, not to mention the worst heartache known to man, that I hadn’t had time to really focus on anything else other than mending.

Now I was at that point in the game where I felt at least eighty percent ready to let him go.There was no point in holding onto the past anyway, he was gone, and I’m no homewrecker.But there’s still this small part of me that thinks he’s coming home.

I guess being in love with him the way I was wasn’t something to easily get over.This hurts my heart even more because the fact and the way he moved on just prove that he’d never loved me the way I loved him, and that hurts even more than the betrayal in some ways.

I found, too, once I let myself open up that wound again, that part of my problem was that I still felt that sense of responsibility to him that I did when we were together.I’d promised to always be there for him and that I would never desert him, especially when he was at his lowest.

The fact that he’d looked horrible in the weeks and months after our split has haunted me in ways that I hadn’t realized.And though he was no longer my problem to deal with, that part of me, the part that had given my whole heart to him and what I thought we would be, was still tied up in his joys and his sorrows.