Page 8 of Misadventures And Ms. Demeanor

"You don't look as big on screen, so I guess TV does add fifteen pounds. But for you it was all in the boobs. Pretty strange."

"What kind of lipstick is that? It doesn't even come off...and you sure tried."

"Will you go out with me?"

My back was pressed against the glass counter and I had my hands up. Someone placed a permanent marker in my hand and I’d grabbed it automatically.

"Okay folks, one at a time. Silky Tangles will sign autographs, then you've got to give her some room," Goldie announced. "Here." She gave me some scrap paper.

Five minutes later, the store was empty. Goldie had sold two Silky Tangles videos to the guys, a set of handcuffs for the couple and I was assured a date anytime with a guy named Bob.

"Holy shit," I said again, stunned.

"Is there something you're not telling us, sweetheart?"

Goldie looked at me over the tops of her reading glasses fastened to a rhinestone encrusted chain that hung about her neck.

"What? You think I'm her?" I pointed to the TV.

"If you had your hair styled and double D implants," Goldie said

"You do spend a lot of time out of town," Veronica added.

"When I envisioned having a secret life, it was as Wonder Woman, not a porn star," I countered.

"Well, you have to hand it to Miss Silky. She gives her all. And I mean literally," Veronica replied, shaking her head.

The bell over the door dinged and Jack Reid walked in. He was Veronica's lawyer boyfriend. Although he only had eyes forVeronica, I didn't mind staring at him, nor did any other woman in town under the age of ninety. He was that good looking.

"Hey, Jack," Goldie called out, putting the DVDs back on the shelf.

"Have you ever heard of Silky Tangles?" Veronica asked.

Jack stopped in his tracks halfway to the counter. "Oh crap, this is one of those questions, isn't it? Hey, Daphne."

I gave him a little head nod but really wanted to hear what he had to say.

Veronica just raised her eyebrows.

"Fine." He sighed. "I'm doomed here. If you're talking about Silky Tangles, the porn star, then I've never heard of her."

"Really?" Veronica grinned and came around the counter to wrap her arms around her man.

"I'm a lawyer. I plead the fifth."

"Smart." She kissed him. "Very smart."

"What do you want me to say, that she's really Daphne?"

"How did you know?" Goldie asked in complete surprise, one hand covering the word SASSY on her chest.

"Goldie," I replied dryly. "Don't encourage him."

Jack grinned at me. "I’ve known since Ty's bachelor party."

Ty Strickland was Goldie's daughter-in-law Jane's fiancé. Jane had been married to Goldie's son until he died about five years ago from some kind of aneurysm or something. They'd been getting divorced at the time so Jane wasn't overly heartbroken, although it must be hard for Goldie to lose her only child. Jane helped Goldie run the store and Ty was a Bozeman firefighter. They were getting married in September.

"Oh my god, you guys watched porn and thought it was me? Thailand isn't far enough away," I groaned, mortified.