Page 88 of For Better or Hearse
She laughs against his lips. Kisses him once more.
“Nope.”
Smiling, he tucks her against his side. “Ashley?”
She makes a face. “Rude. And no.”
“I poured my heart out tonight. Don’t you think I deserve some consolation?”
“No.” Considering it, she tilts her head. “At least not in the immediate future.”
“Hmm.” He runs a big hand down her shoulder. She shivers at the contact. The feel of his body on her. “That would mean I’m included in the future.”
“You’re Augustus’s grandson. As long as that old man’s kicking,I can only assume you’ll be buzzing around like a gnat.” She gives a casual shrug, keeps a casual tone.
Only the last thing she feels is casual.
Knotted up. That’s more accurate. So knotted up inside. Like not seeing Nathaniel again is a kind of death.
“Then tell me something else,” Nathaniel says. “Why the boots? There has to be a story.”
“There is.” She presses closer to him. For an instant, her heart retreats to the hollow of her chest. But she forces it out of hiding to say, “They make me feel powerful.” Her eyes flick to Nathaniel’s face. He’s watching her with a quiet curiosity. Giving her the space she needs.
“My mom bought me a pair after I was diagnosed. We went shopping in Beverly Hills. Tessie and her mom were there. I was allowed to pick one thing I wanted. No matter what the price was.” The golden threads of her memory shimmer, easing the tension in her shoulders. “When I saw them, I knew I had to have them. They were badass. They mademefeel badass. Invincible. Like I could stomp, and everyone could stare, and I didn’t care. I could ward anything off when I wore those boots.”
Nathaniel idly smooths her hair, gently combing his fingers through it. He’s listening. It’s obvious in the stiffness of his body. The attentive weight of his stare. She feels all of him.
Ash sighs, burrows closer to him. “Everything about that time was tentative and hard, but those boots weren’t. They were my superpower. They were everything about my life I wanted but couldn’t find at the time.”
She closes her eyes. Exhales the memory.
A soft muttered swear falls from Nathaniel’s lips.
“What’s wrong?” She blinks back to the moment, takes him in.
“I shouldn’t have called you that.” He swallows audibly. “Bigfoot.” Guilt’s etched across his face. His expression turns serious, and her heart stutters as he says, “I didn’t know what your boots meant to you. I’m a fucking asshole.”
She’s momentarily speechless. Touched.
“No, really. It’s fine,” she says earnestly. It’s sweet that he cares, that he feels bad, but there’s no need. “I love the nickname. I really do.”
After a beat, he touches her shoulder.
Wordlessly, she twists into him, and he takes her in his arms. The gesture so intimate, so kind, that it steals her breath. Ash sighs at the delightful sensation. His hug is like a weighted blanket, or better yet, a hydraulic press.
A breeze kicks up, and despite the balmy temperature, Ash shivers.
Nathaniel cups her jaw. He wipes that dark hair off her face, skims a thumb over the delicate arch of her cheekbone. “Let’s go back. Get you warm.”
She is warm. Here, in Nathaniel’s arms, she’s the warmest she’s ever been. She doesn’t want to go back. She wants to sit on this beach with this man, confessing strange truths, and watch the sun rise.
But instead, she bites her tongue and says, “Okay.”
“Well, I guess this is good night.”
Ash lingers in the doorway of her hotel room. Nathaniel stands on the other side of the threshold like a blood-sucking vampire who hasn’t been allowed to enter. She’s suddenly flooded with nerves. Why did he have to be a perfect fucking gentleman and insist on walking her back to her room?
“My bad habit,” he rasps. “You asked earlier if I had one.”