Page 123 of Fight for You

How do you even begin to comprehend the selflessness that took? The courage? She thinks she's weak, but she's so much braver than she realizes.

Knowing she remembers killing Kaleo wrecks me. I don't want her to remember a single second of it. She's too damn sweet to live with that memory.

"I'm so fucking sorry, January," I whisper when I compose myself. I lift my head, locking eyes with her. "I'm so sorry for all of it."

"I'm not," she whispers back. "He's taken enough from me. I wasn't letting him take you, too." She pushes her hand through my hair, brushing it away from my forehead. A little smile tugs at the corners of her lips. "I know there's a lot we need to work out, but I'm kind of hoping we can do it together."

"Yeah?" I ask, staring at her lips because I can't help myself.

She nods, her teeth pressing into her bottom lip before she releases it, leaving it wet and glistening. "Do you…I mean, are you–?"

"Am I what, little monster? Say it," I whisper, running my thumb along her bottom lip. It's so soft. Every part of her is soft and sweet. My cock throbs in my jeans, begging for relief he isn't getting any time soon. Until I'm inside January, he's just going to have to suffer.

"Are you staying?" she breathes out.

"Do you want me to stay?"

She nods, not breaking eye contact.

"Fuck," I mumble and then lean forward and take her lips in a bruising kiss. Our tongues dance together and then break apart before coming together again. Her lips are so damn soft against mine. So is her tongue. Kissing her is heaven and hell at once. Heaven because she's perfect. Hell, because I want her spread out beneath me, but I can't have that yet.

Reluctantly, I ease off, slowing the kiss. She sighs into my mouth, her breath so fucking sweet. Her hands are all twisted up in my hair, holding me to her as I nip at her lips and then press mine to each corner of her mouth.

"Cade," she whispers quietly, just like she used to do when we were kids, and I'd kiss her. It's still my favorite sound in the world.

"You're my home, January," I whisper a moment later, leaning back so she can see me and know I mean what I'm telling her. Her lips are swollen from my kisses. She looks like a little doll with happiness brimming in those bright eyes and her cheeks flushed. "Even if you had kicked me out of here today, I wouldn't be going back to Seattle. I'm staying right here with you."

"You are?" Her expression is so full of hope that I can't help but chuckle at her.

"I never once stopped loving you. I never stopped wanting you," I tell her, my voice firm so she knows I'm not feeding her a line. "I'm not sure I'll ever believe someone like me—someone who's done the things I've done—could possibly deserve you, but I'm going to try like hell to prove myself wrong. I spent years in hell, waiting for you."

"Since she is here, in a place of blackness, here I stay and wait," she whispers the words from the Stephen Crane poem I had immortalized in my skin.

"Not anymore," I tell her. "I'm done waiting, and I'm done making you wait. We're both breaking free of the blackness. Together."

"Together," she vows.

That promise reflects in her eyes, sending my heart soaring.

Chapter Twenty-Six

January

"Naz," Cade growls into the phone, pinching the bridge of his nose. The thunderous scowl on his face makes me glad I'm not the one pissing him off. Even from across the room, anger sizzles in the air around him. He appears massive as he plants his feet and growls wordlessly, snarling like some wild beast at whatever Nazario Leyva is telling him.

I pull my blanket closer and shiver, though I'm not sure if it's because he's hot as hell when he's pissed or…okay, it's definitely because seeing Cade all fired up is hot as hell. He's six feet, five inches of pure muscle and rage. That probably shouldn't turn me on, but it does.

"If I have to leave my girl to deal with this, the only place the motherfucker is going is to the hospital and then to prison." He huffs out a frustrated breath and clamps a hand down on the edge of the entertainment center. A string of curses explodes from his lips. "Tell Fuentes he has twenty-four hours to call off the fucking hit, or I'm coming after him."

My eyebrows shoot upward, my eyes widening. I don't think I'll ever get used to how easily he says things like that…like it's perfectly normal to talk about some gang putting out a hit on someone else. I guess for him, it is normal. He's the guy who makes the bad guys play nice.

"The girl and the kid belong to Carter now," he snaps. "I don't give a fuck if it is Francisco's baby. Just tell him to call it off, or I'm going to blow his shit up." Cade listens for another second and then curses. "Are you fucking kidding me? He's after her, too? What the hell? I'm busy for a few weeks and he thinks he owns this city?" He pushes his hair back from his forehead and rests his head against the wall, closing his eyes. A dark chuckle leaves his lips. "He's a fucking idiot. Tell him this city is mine now. He answers to me, just like the rest of you do."

Jesus. The way he says it, I believe Los Angeles belongs to him. If I were this Fuentes person and had to face Cade, I'd probably just hand over the keys and flee for my life. He's always been sure of himself, but he's something else now. He knows he's in charge and has no qualms with letting everyone else know it too. That confidence is sexy as all hell.

I never knew seeing him work would be so riveting. But every day, I get to watch him in action. I find it fascinating. He barks orders like he was born to do it. Even the other cops who stop by—like Roman Gregory and Luke Santiago—listen to him when he tells them what to do about this or that or the other. They all seem to respect him, even when he is cursing up a storm and threatening destruction on whatever isn't cooperating. Naz has stopped by a few times. I've seen him in the papers enough to know he's a dangerous man sitting on a fortune. But even he listens to Cade.

It's been three weeks since Kaleo shot me, and Cade rarely leaves my side. The few times he has had to go out, he left Luke Santiago to babysit me. I like Luke. He's quiet and intense, but also really sweet. I especially like the way Cade kisses me whenever he leaves me with Luke. I think he's jealous, but he doesn't have any reason to be. I haven't seen anyone but him since I was a kid. I doubt that's ever going to change.