Page 55 of It Destroys Me
“Imagine how good you’ll feel when it’s over,” Axel said. “When you can live your life freely.”
“But that freedom comes at a cost, risking the man I love.”
Axel’s gaze shifted to me and stayed put.
I held his gaze but said nothing.
There were words packed in his silence, but he didn’t speak them. He looked at Astrid again. “Theo is the most capable man I’ve ever met. Your scrawny little ex-husband doesn’t stand a chance.”
Chapter 9
Astrid
I sat behind my desk at the gallery but ignored the emails on the screen. I was too distracted by upcoming events to care about selling paintings. Theo told me he would have to get me to Axel secretly, so even his butler wouldn’t know I wasn’t in the house. He’d already dropped off my bag of things at Scarlett’s restaurant so she could take it home after she finished up her work in the office.
The plan was in motion, and I couldn’t stop it.
The bell over the door rang, and my eyes immediately flicked to the person who walked inside.
Theo.
He had a paper bag in his hand like he’d picked up sandwiches while he was out and about. “Hungry, sweetheart?”
Only for you. “Sure.”
We took our usual seats in the gallery, sitting across from each other in the leather armchairs. As usual, he held his huge sandwich in a single hand because he was big enough to do it. He took bite after bite, devouring the whole thing in just a couple of minutes. Whenever he chewed, he looked at me, comfortable in our silence.
I was relieved he’d gotten me a children’s size because that was all I could eat. I used his gym in the morning to run my three miles, but that was the extent of my athletic abilities. There had been one time I had run on the treadmill while he lifted, and I’d almost tripped and slammed my face into the running belt because I was so distracted. He stacked so much weight on the bars then lifted it all, his skin flushing red and his veins popping from the exertion. He did his sets, his arms getting plumper with the blood that flooded his muscles.
“Are you nervous?” I asked.
“No.” He rolled up the paper and crumpled it in his hand.
“How can you not be nervous?—”
“Because I’m too pissed off to be nervous,” he snapped at me out of nowhere. “Because I’ve wanted to kill him with my bare hands since the moment I saw what he did to your face. Because taking his soul from his body is the only way I can forgive myself for failing you. Because he killed my brother and burned his bones, and I won’t stop until he gets the same. That’s why I’m not nervous, Astrid.”
The rage in his eyes made me look away. I felt like I’d crossed an invisible boundary.
“Even if you asked me not to do it, I don’t think I could.”
I’d loved Bolton so much, and it was still hard to believe that love had died so suddenly. But it did. It died the moment he raised his hand to me. The love and respect that somehow survived his infidelity had been irreparably destroyed in that moment. “I want him dead as much as you do, Theo.”
“I really don’t think you do, sweetheart.”
I wouldn’t ask him to make it quick. Wouldn’t ask for mercy. I’d asked Bolton for mercy, and he refused to give it to me. And he’d done worse things than strike me and throw me into the fridge. “Please be careful. Don’t underestimate him. I know he’s not as big as you are, but he’s smart. One of the smartest men I’ve ever met.”
“Trust me, I don’t underestimate him. If he hurt his own wife, then he’s capable of anything.”
I wasn’t sure if I could make it through the night without knowing if he was okay. I wasn’t sure if I could sleep, let alone breathe, until I knew it was done. “What if we just leave? Move to Croatia or Mykonos…just avoid it altogether.”
With his elbows on the armrests, he massaged his knuckles. “Do I look like a man who runs, sweetheart?”
“No.”
“Because I don’t run from anyone. They run from me.”
“I just?—”