Page 37 of It Destroys Me

“He—he didn’t say.”

“Then why did he hang up?” He pulled up a chair to my desk to sit close to me, the corner of the desk between us.

Because I love you.

Theo’s presence was threatening, as if I was the one who’d done something wrong. He looked at me like I was on trial, when I was the victim of the crime. His eyes seemed darker than usual, storm clouds on a spring day. “What happened?”

“You seem angry.”

“I am angry.”

“But you seem angry at me.”

He continued his hard stare. It was practically pulsing.

“What did I do?—”

“Why did you take his call?”

“I didn’t know it was him. It was a blocked number?—”

He raised his voice. “Why would you answer a blocked number?”

Now, I raised mine. “Because my clients call on blocked numbers all the time. Rich people are paranoid. You think I wanted to talk to him? What are you trying to imply here, Theo? That I want the man who’s made me so miserable I almost took a bottle full of Vicodin to kill myself?”

The daggers in his eyes immediately withdrew, and he looked away, leaning back in his chair as the ominous clouds from his mood passed and the blue sky returned. After several seconds of avoidance, he looked at me again. “What happened?”

I wanted an apology for the way he acted, but I was so happy he was there that I let it go. “Honestly, it was the same shit. Said he hoped I’d had enough time to cool off…like my flames will ever die.” They burned hotter than the fire that took my home. “Said if I don’t come back to him willingly, it’ll be much worse after he kills you and takes me.”

The threat didn’t make him hesitate. “Don’t let him scare you.”

“I’m not. Just don’t underestimate him.”

His stare was so hard, he had the power to make mountains cower. “I never underestimate anything when it comes to you.”

I looked away to hide the way my insides melted.

“Sweetheart.”

I could only avoid his stare for a couple seconds before I caved.

“I won’t let anything happen to you. I promise.”

With eyes like the dark side of the moon, a confidence higher than an ancient sequoia, his look had the power to give me wings. Even on the happiest day of my marriage with Bolton, I was never as happy with him as I was on my worst day with Theo. This relationship had been so brief and occurred under such strenuous circumstances, but it somehow felt so right. “I don’t want anything to happen to you either.”

“Don’t ever worry about me. It’s not your job.”

“If it’s not my job, then whose is it?”

“Mine.”

“Well, I’d like it to be mine.”

He stared at me for a while before he gave a slight shake of his head. “That’s not how it works, sweetheart. I take care of you—not the other way around.”

“But I want to take care of you.” I wanted to rub his sore muscles when they ached. I wanted to make him soup when he was sick. I wanted to watch him grow old through the decades…and be there every step of the way.

His gaze remained hard as stone, not giving me any entry into the conversation. “Why did he hang up?” What little vulnerability he’d shown in his expression was long gone. He was back to business, back to his coldness.