Page 21 of It Destroys Me
A smile moved on to my lips, but it was a painful one, an insincere one. “Sometimes I wonder if he just feels obligated to help me.”
“Why would he feel obligated?”
“Because he’s all I have. If he walks away, I’m done.” I had no defense against Bolton. He was stronger and smarter, and I had nothing. As long as he wanted to keep me as a prisoner, there was nothing I could do to stop him. “I’m sure Theo knows that.”
“He could send you away. Give you a new identity and some money to start over. I think he’s here because he cares for you more than he shows. That man has a lot of demons, but I don’t think those demons are enough to keep him away from you.”
I stared at the bread on my plate and fidgeted with it, buoyed by her words but also swallowed by them.
“Don’t be afraid to wear your heart on your sleeve,” she said. “Because I think that’s exactly what Theo needs.”
“Yeah…maybe.” I tore off a piece of the bread but left it on the plate before I looked at her again. “I feel so stupid for choosing Bolton when I had Theo there…wanting me.” It was my greatest mistake. An unforgivable one.
“You’re being way too hard on yourself, babe.”
“Really? As Theo’s friend, I assumed you would feel differently.”
“But I’m his married friend,” she said. “Unmarried people think marriage is just a piece of paper, but once you’re in a marriage, you realize it’s so much more. You share the same last name. You become family. I don’t fault you for trying to make that marriage work. It’s not like you knew Bolton was a psychopath at the time.”
“I know, but…” I had more stored inside my chest, but it didn’t come free. “Theo said we would have ended up in this predicament, no matter what I decided.”
“And he’s right,” she said with a nod. “It must be so frustrating that Bolton started all this when he asked for an open marriage, but he refuses to accept the consequences of that decision. You fell for someone else. He shouldn’t be surprised.”
“I think he expected me to stay loyal, honestly.” And I almost did because I felt so guilty about it. Felt guilty leaving my wedding ring at home. Felt horrible for wanting another man in my bed besides my husband. But in the end, I had no reason to feel bad whatsoever.
“Arrogant prick.” She took another bite of her bread.
“Did Theo ask you to do this?”
“Do what?” she asked.
“You know, take me out…get me out of the house.”
“No.” Her eyebrows furrowed as she looked at me, genuinely confused. “I asked you out because you’re a hot piece of ass that I wanted to go shopping with.”
A smile melted over my mouth. “That’s really nice of you.”
“We’re friends, babe.”
“Yeah? I could really use a friend. My closest friend was my sister-in-law, but I’ll never see her again now.”
“Well, you’ve got me. And I bet I cook better than she does.”
I released a quick laugh. “You’re right about that. Whenever I came over, she served cheese and crackers.”
“Does she think you’re a mouse?” Scarlett deadpanned.
A bigger laugh escaped my lips. “I know, right?”
We finished our dinner then enjoyed the rest of our wine. Scarlett had ordered a bottle and refused to leave until it was empty. We each got a slice of tiramisu and continued to talk about all facets of life.
“You miss your kids?” I asked.
“God no,” she said with a laugh. “My tits are finally put away, and I don’t have spit-up all over me.” She took another drink. “I mean, Axel prefers my tits out even if there’s a baby sucking them raw.”
I smiled. “He seems like a good dad.”
“Yeah, he is,” she said warmly. “He really stepped up. Walked away from business and came into parenthood full time. Sacrificed it all for us. It was his decision. I didn’t have to ask him.”