Page 32 of Fated to the Damned

Just fucking look at me, I want to scream.

But when he does, it nearly undoes us both. Maybe it’s our saving grace that he refuses to.

"Jessa. I did not expect you so early," he rumbles, voice echoing through the silent temple. His piercing gaze flicks toward me againbriefly before returning to the altar arrangements.

I wet my dry lips before answering, willing my voice to steadiness. "I thought you could use some help getting things ready."

Nikolai gives a short nod of assent. I make my way to the altar, careful to leave ample space between us. We work in awkward silence for some time, renewing the sacred bowls of water and blood, polishing the array of mirrors and crystals laid out in intricate patterns.

I can feel Nikolai's powerful presence like a physical weight, hyper aware of his every movement as we circle the altar. Our hands inadvertently brush occasionally as we work, sending sparks skittering across my skin.

The electric tension between us seems to grow with each passing minute in forced close proximity. The unspoken words and feelings hang heavy as a thundercloud over us. I chance a glance at Nikolai and find him watching me, longing shining in his eyes for an instant before he looks away.

My heart pounds wildly at being truly alone with him for the first time in weeks, our mutual but unfulfilled desire impossible to ignore. I ache to bridge this gaping space between us, but the icy void remains, leaving me at a loss for how to thaw what lies between.

As we continue preparing for the evening rites, our hands brush with as we pass objects back and forth. Each graze sends sparks through me, the tension ratcheting impossibly higher until I can barely breathe.

We’re so close to each other now we’re having to fight not to touch. And there’s a pull begging me to give in.

I feel Nikolai's gaze burning into me and I meet his eyes. And this time he doesn’t look away. The raw desire there steals my breath away. He steps closer, hand reaching toward my face...

At the last moment, he recoils as if burned. A look of anguish crosses his face before his expression shutters. Without a word, Nikolai turns on his heel and strides from the temple, fists clenched at his sides.

I stand frozen, heart pounding wildly. The charged moment replays in my mind, imagination providing the satisfaction reality denied. I press a hand to my flushed cheek, willing my breathing to slow.

The echo of Nikolai's retreating footsteps fades, leaving me alone once more. I lean against the altar for support as I try to regain composure. But the memory of his blazing eyes lingers no matter how I try to banish it.

I know I should respect the distance he's placed between us. But the temptation grows stronger every day.

I fear my self-restraint is slipping.

And I don’t know what will happen when this tension finally breaks.

18

JESSA

“Imight as well drag a cot into the temple,” I mutter to myself as I pull at the pins keeping my hair up. The locks fall down around my face as I descend the steps of the temple, done with all my work for the night.

It’s easier to help with the farm and temple work when it’s out of my face, but it's been a long day. I almost moan as I massage the tension in my scalp out but keep quiet. The base is still active at night, but I don’t wnat to draw attention to myself as I cross the nearly empty courtyard.

After seeing Alina, I feel a little guilty for always slipping in late at night and early in the morning while she sleeps. It’s not that I don’t like her. I’ve just dove into making myself useful at the base.

I think a part of me doesn’t know how to sit still. I’ve always worked, since I was brought to that farm at two. And I also want to prove my worth. I don’t want them to decide I’m no longer needed.

Still lost in thought, I’m not paying enough attention to my surroundings. And that’s evident when rough hands grab me violently from behind, dragging me into the pitch black shadows near the edge of the woods. Terror seizes me and I open my mouth to scream, but a hand clamps down, stifling any sound.

I struggle in vain, heart pounding wildly, as three hulking young male vrakken surround me, their eyes glinting with sadistic excitement in the darkness.

There’s another standing a little farther off, and he looks almost human. He’s not as pale and he’s shifting in rapid bursts like he’s not used to the speed at which he can move now.

And I don’t like it at all. Whatever is about to happen cannot be good with someone so newly Made.

"Well, well, look what we caught wandering all alone," one of them sneers, baring his fangs.

"Pretty little thing isn't she? So soft and breakable," another says with a dark chuckle, trailing a finger down my cheek almost gently before his grip turns brutal, his hands bruising my arms.

I try to wrench away, shaking my head frantically, but escape is impossible. "Let me go!" I try to yell against the hand still crushing my mouth.