Page 7 of The Good Girl

Chapter 4

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I took care with my morning toilette and chose a suit I knew he would approve of, one that he’d shown appreciation for in the past. It was the first intentional move I’d made since this whole thing had started.

I don’t know what drove me this morning, but instead of fear and uncertainty of what the day might bring, I felt empowered. Sometime during the night I had solved the puzzle. Jealousy! It was jealousy of Andrew’s unwanted attentions that had pushed Jonas to do what he did on that desk. To say that word to me that revealed more of what he felt than anything else had ever done thus far.

That had to mean something didn’t it? Why else would he be jealous if he didn’t care? And why would he show me that side of him, when he was so secretive and selective with everything else he shared? It must mean something.

I hummed on my way to the kitchen for my morning tea and a piece of fruit. It was the only thing I could keep down this early in the day though I hadn’t been sick yet. I wasn’t looking forward to that, but at least I’d be able to keep my condition hidden a bit longer when it started because he was never here in the mornings.

I played the radio in the car on the way to the office, a vast contrast from the day before. My first blip came when I saw that his car was missing from its usual place. That wasn’t like him. From my first day here he’d always beaten me to the office everyday.

I walked into the building on unsteady legs. “Hey Thalia, how are you?” I looked up at the greeting from Amy, one of the junior secretaries who I’d once shared a cubicle with before I was promoted to the great man’s assistant.

“Hi Amy, I’m good and you?” She shrugged her shoulders and walked next to me. “Oh I’m fine haven’t seen you at the café for lunch in a while, are you doing okay? The big guy keeping you busy?”

What did she mean by that? I looked at her sharply but there was nothing in her face, nothing that said she was being anything but sincere. “You could say that. He’s a workhorse as you know, so it stands to reason that I’m kept just as busy.

“Well a few of us are going to the club this Friday night if you want to come along. It might be good for you.”

“Sure, I’ll think about it.” It had been some time since I’d gone anywhere but home and work.

Jonas was very clear that I needed to be available any hour of the day in case he needed me. There would be days when he didn’t come to me, but it didn’t matter, as long as I was where he wanted me to be then all was fine.

I left her at the lift and made my way up to the office. Rachel wasn’t in yet so I got the coffee started and straightened out my desk. Today was the follow up to yesterday’s meeting. In the next few days Jonas would finalize his takeover of what was it now, his third company in a year?

He’s been an automaton since burying his family, snatching up failing companies left and right as if to fill the void left by the loss. I grew more and more apprehensive when he didn’t show up in an hour.

Where was he? He didn’t show up by noon and neither did Rachel. My mind went to the only place it could. They were together. My world imploded at the thought. I was at a loss as to what to do. I’d never been in this situation before and though I tried convincing myself that I was jumping to conclusions their very absence spoke volumes.

Where could I look for evidence? What could I do if it were true? What were my options if the man I loved had lost interest in me? I had no answers, only uncertainty and panic. Jonas was so private, so secretive it was hard to know what he was thinking. For as long as I’ve been sleeping with him, I still know no more than the people who followed his life in the gossip rags.

I tried keeping myself busy but my concentration was shot. Instead I sat in a daze for the rest of the afternoon until it was time to go home. It would be the first time I was leaving the office this early in a long time for any reason other than to service Jonas.

I felt despondent and desperate when I left the building, going as slowly as I could in the hopes of catching a glimpse of him. It wasn’t like he was going to give me an explanation for him not being here, But at least if I saw him I would know…what? I would still be no wiser.

I pulled into the garage and for the first time didn’t want to be here. I’ve always felt close to him here. This was our place, the place he’d chosen for me, for us to share.

I dragged myself out of the car because there was nothing left to do but enter the empty house and face another night of ennui. I didn’t have the strength to put a meal together so I put the kettle on to boil.

Three months, was that the new cutoff point? Had I used up my time with the precious Jonas Harp? The cup of soothing tea wasn’t any help it only helped to fuel my anger. I walked around the rooms of the house feeling the anger build.

I went over our relationship in my head from start to what may be the finish. I’d been hired a few months before our official meeting. Just one of many in the secretarial poo. I’d just been happy to have landed a job after months of searching.

Yes it was way beneath me, but in the current market it was better than nothing. Besides, the company paid at the higher end of the spectrum. My plan was to work my way up when given the chance.

I’d heard all the whispers within days of being hired. No one knew too much since the man himself was so private, but what little they did know was enough to keep the rumor mill churning for a good long while.

I’d learned about his wife and son then. I’d been so busy with my own life the last year or so that I didn’t have time to read the society pages so I’d missed the story. I’d gone back through the archives and found more than I wanted to know.

His wife had been sideswiped by a drunk driver, on the way home from picking up their pre-school son from swim class. The last traffic photo as they crossed the bridge showed a smiling woman and a young boy strapped into his seat behind her, clapping his hands.

It was sad and tragic. I’d spent way too much time looking at that picture. Feeling pain for a man I didn’t even know. To have lost that, I couldn’t imagine. I’d become obsessed with the family they must’ve been.

She was a very beautiful woman, and the boy was all Jonas. What had their life been like before it was ripped apart? My imagination ran wild and before I knew it I found myself weaving tales of romance and immense love around them. Along with the rumors about his loss were the newer ones about his conquests. While others saw it as a man sowing wild oats, I saw it as something more.

I saw a man shielding his pain the only way he knew how. That was no man enjoying his newfound freedom that was a man drowning his sorrow.