Page 84 of One Kiss Isn't Enough

She doesn’t respond even though I give her time to.

“Do you think you’d be all right with that? Instead of you asking, I just tell and if it’s too much, you tell me to stop and I will.”

“Will that help you?” she questions me. The hope in her voice is there, but it’s surprising that it comes with this particular question.

I almost tell her I’m fine. I’m so close to saying just that. Which would defeat the purpose of all of this. “Yes. It fucking kills me that I can’t tell you what’s eating at me.”

“Okay then. New rules. You tell me everything unless I say stop.” Fear and hope swirl in her glossy gaze.

“The loss is something we have to go through together and maybe we’ll have moments where we feel alone, because we were wishing those moments were with the little life we never got to hold. But if you can try to remember I’m here, I hope it will help.”

She swallows her words rather than responding. I keep going though. I’ll take the lead and she’ll follow. She has to. I don’t know how this can work otherwise.

“I gave you the ring because I love you. The only reason I didn’t give it to you sooner was because I wasn’t sure you’d say yes. I thought I had a little anchor knowing you were pregnant. It wasn’t an obligation because you were pregnant. It wasn’t that, Addison. Don’t think that.”

She searches my expression, maybe in an attempt to determine if I’m sincere or not. It’s what I deserve. Years ago, I kept everything from her, for a very long time. Our relationship started with lies, and it’s carried on with secrets. She’ll learn to trust me though. She has to. I won’t give her any reason not to.

“I want you to wear my ring. I want you to come to bed with me, be with me again, even if you want to be safe and wait to try again. I need you, Addison.”

It feels like I’ve emptied everything out. Leaving me hollow and waiting with nothing but the hope that she’ll know this is all I’ve got. It’s everything, every bit of me, and I don’t know if it’s enough but I’m damn sure going to try.

“I need you too,” she finally whispers in the warm air between us, making it feel even hotter than it already is. I’m still on edge, waiting and needing more of her.

“Tell me we’re going to be all right. That you’re going to be all right.” It’s a command.

“I’m going to try,” she answers, and I know it’s because she wants to be honest and that she doesn’t actually believe it. She doesn’t know deep in her bones that it’ll work. It never has before.

“You’re going to succeed. You are meant to be with me, Addison. There’s no way this ends otherwise. I need you and I need my family.” I suck in a breath, ready to tell her if we have to, we’ll leave. We did it before; we can do it again. It’ll kill me, but for her, I’d do it.

“I need them too,” she says, quick to cut me off. “I want this to work. Not just us; we work, and I love you, but this place. I just…I don’t know.”

“You don’t know, that’s exactly it. You don’t know anything and that’s the problem. I’ll fix it. We’ll fix this.”

“I don’t know that I can handle it,” she confesses with a quivering bottom lip. “I’ve never felt so insignificant and weak.” As she speaks, her voice goes dry and cracks at the words.

“I’ve put you through hell, and you survived.”

“They’ve gone through worse. Aria?—”

“Don’t compare your story to hers; it doesn’t change your pain.” She’s unraveling in front of me. Six months of being here and I’ve never seen her like this. How did I let it get this bad? “Get on the bed. In the center.”

“Daniel—”

“The bed. Get in the middle, now.” I emphasize my words and slowly pull away from her, keeping my gaze pinned to hers. “You can handle it, Addison. You can take everything.”

Her shoulders drop heavily as she swallows, and her chest rises faster with every breath as she stares back at me. Not moving.

“I need you, Addison, and you need me. That’s why we’re off, why everything feels wrong. Get on the bed.”

I’ve never had to repeat myself. She’s always listened before, and staring at her now, not knowing what she’ll do, I can’t breathe. I can’t lose her.

“On the bed, Addison. Don’t make me tell you again.”

* * *

Addison

I’ve loved this man since before I knew what love was.