Page 83 of One Kiss Isn't Enough
The mention of a baby breaks her composure and I hold her tighter when her face crumples. Kissing her hair, I breathe the words, “I love you and you love me; there’s no reason the world shouldn’t know that. There’s nothing to hide.”
“It’s not about hiding, it’s…it’s just everything is…” She trails off as she struggles to voice another word and attempts to move away from me, but I put my hand over hers.
“Just tell me,” I say.
“It’s never going to just be us. Our past…even right now. It’s more than just us and I am struggling.”
“Because of Tyler?—”
She cuts me off before I can say more. “No. Your other brothers. Your life. This life.” Breathing in deeper, heavier, she focuses on keeping her breathing steady as she looks me in the eyes to state, “You come with a lot of baggage, Daniel Cross. Some of it, I carry too.”
“If this isn’t what you want, you shouldn’t have come back.” I can’t describe the way my blood chills and everything hardens. My jaw, my stiff back, the thump in my chest that quiets to a dull ache.
“I know, it’s all my fault.” The hurt in her voice reflects in her gaze.
“Stop saying that. We’re in this together. None of this is your fault.”
She looks like she’ll say something, but all she does is nod slightly, refusing to open up and tell me what’s going on in that beautiful head of hers.
“Don’t keep it from me.”
“I’m struggling to handle it; I need help.”
“Tell me how.”
“I just can’t wear your ring,” she confesses weakly.
“What part of not wearing my ring is supposed to help you?”
“Are you so dense, Daniel?” The contempt is unexpected. “You gave it to me after I found out. You gave me a ring because I was pregnant. That’s the only reason. And we never should have gotten pregnant. It was an accident. I wasn’t ready. It’s my fault!”
“Addison—”
“I’m doing my best and I’m highly aware that it’s not good enough. I couldn’t even carry our baby,” she says, and the last two words are a strangled mess between the shuddering sob she holds back.
“Don’t say that… You are more than enough.” I stress my words, grasping both of her hands in mine firmly and holding her gaze with mine to steady her. “Not a damn thing is your fault. Nothing but keeping all of this from me and letting it tear us apart. You have to talk to me.”
“You have to talk to me too.” She whimpers the plea as her watery eyes look up to mine.
“I can do that.” I’m quick to acquiesce to her request. “I can talk to you, but you have to tell me if it’s too much.”
“It’s all too much,” she admits, “but I still want it. I still want you.”
The relief that blooms inside of me is instant. It’s everything I needed.
“One thing at a time.” I wait for her to nod at my words, to know she’s listening. “You are more than good enough. You’re too good for me, but I’m keeping you anyway.”
“Daniel—”
“No.” I don’t let her interrupt me. “You got to tell me, now it’s my turn to tell you.”
“Okay,” she whispers, her grip getting tighter as she waits.
“You are with me and I am with you. We can’t let each other be lonely. I’m right here,” I whisper against the shell of her ear and then plant a gentle kiss against the tender skin beneath her ear. “We’re going to be okay. You’re going to find your place…so long as it’s right next to me. We have to talk. We can’t hold it in.” I’m careful with my next suggestion. “You don’t know your place, because you don’t know what’s going on. I want to tell you. I want you to know.”
“The stress…” The words leave her sounding more like a helpless question than a statement.
“I think it will help, not hurt to know. It’s the not knowing that’s stressful.”