Page 76 of One Kiss Isn't Enough

“That would be good for us,” Carter agrees. “I’ll ask Aria if she’s up for cooking.” All the while I stare at Addison, waiting for her to give me some sign that she’s all right.

Anything. I need something from her.

“I’ll ask her,” Addison quickly speaks up, then adds, “I’d like to talk to her anyway.” A weak smile lingers on her lips as my brothers nod in agreement. It’s quiet for a moment and I can see the questions in her eyes.

“Anything else?” I prod.

“Were you talking about Walsh?”

My brothers stay quiet. They handle their relationships the way they want and I do the same. I seem to be the only one failing though. “Do you want in on the details?” I always ask. She knows when something’s wrong, when I’m worried. When things have gone to shit. I’d never make her an accessory, but I’ll give her what I can if she wants it.

“No,” she answers, and her smile turns tight, forming a straight line before she drops her hands to her sides and says she’ll head out to talk to Aria.

“How are you doing, Addie?” Jase asks her before she can leave.

“Better. I think I just needed a hot shower.” Time passes with a click of the clock, a second that waits for what else is on her mind. A piece of me is dying to scream for her to speak up. To ask. The piece that wants to tell her everything. The other part of me, the bigger part, wants to shield her.

She leaves as quickly as she came, which is probably for the best.

The less she knows, the less stress she’ll have. She doesn’t need to worry about this shit. It’s our mess. Not hers.

I need to fix this. I just don’t know how.

ADDISON

Cody Walsh. A million questions linger in my mind after looking up his name online all last night. More questions scream in my head when I think about what Daniel confessed. They killed a man years ago who deserved to be hurt. They killed him because of what he did to me. They killed him.

How many moments have gone by where I’ve mentioned my childhood in passing? Or lack thereof, rather. We talked about how I was in home after home. When we found out I was pregnant, it was all I could think about. All I could talk about.

I was worried I wouldn’t know how to be a good mother, because I never had one. It opened the floodgates for all those memories. When I was young, I didn’t even think I’d ever be able to get pregnant. Just the thought makes my stomach churn; it’s because of what he did to me. The doctors said the scar tissue on my cervix could make it harder to open. I had problems and complications. All the aftermath of the man who was supposed to take care of me.

I brought it up maybe three or four times in the last two months when we found out I was pregnant. I couldn’t not talk about it. No matter how much I hate to go back to those times in my life.

Daniel had so many opportunities to tell me, but he never did.

I never asked, but how would I have even known to question it? Fear has been replaced by something else. Something larger than it. A dying need to know.

“Hey.” Aria’s tone is already consoling when she greets me, ripping me from my thoughts as I place the heavy porcelain plates on the counter.

I didn’t expect to feel this way toward her. There’s a gap between us now, when only weeks ago, nothing separated us. Now I’m careful with what I say and how I say it. I’m careful I don’t put this sadness on her. Just like she’s careful with me now.

“How’s it going?” she asks.

I can hear the emotions in her voice just as easily as the clank of the dishes. The sympathy, the guilt I know she feels because she’s still pregnant when I’m not. She and Chloe, Sebastian’s wife, are carrying so well. Glowing is the correct term. And then there’s me, dull with a forced smile as I turn to her, leaning the small of my back against the granite counter.

“Hey, yourself,” I answer her with enough pep in my voice to lighten the tension. I don’t want anyone to feel sorry for me. It’s life. It’s death. It’s whatever fate has in store. I don’t want her to look at me and feel pity. I’d rather she look at me and see how happy I am for her.

That’s one shining light in all this darkness.

“We’re cooking for everyone tonight, if you’re up for that?” I ask her.

“Family dinner tonight?” Aria eyes me curiously as one perfectly plucked eyebrow arches. She knows something’s up, but she doesn’t ask. She used to always ask.

“Does that mean something’s going on?” Chloe asks as she enters, the faint sound of bags rustling carrying through the kitchen with her. Her husband is best friends with Carter and his right-hand man, but she doesn’t live in the main house of the estate like the rest of us. She and Sebastian have a place deeper in the woods; it’s still protected though. At first, I thought it was sweet for all of us to live so close. But the more I think about it, the fact that we need to be protected, the more it startles me.

I watch as she sets a large brown paper bag down on the table, her belly protruding, round and an obvious sign that she’s in her second trimester.

Taking off her light jacket, she lays it across the chair and then smooths her flowing cream blouse down her front.