Page 52 of Queen of Misfortune (Shadows of Redemption)

“Ah… fuck… Lucy… I can’t hold back.”

“I don’t want you to. I want to feel it all.” It’s an epiphany. I want to feel. Not trapped. Not like nothing. But life. I want to feel life.

He levers up on his hands, his body huge as it hovers over me. “Tell me if it’s too much, baby… ah, fuck…” On the next thrust, he growls and withdraws again. He moves faster. Harder. My breath catches each time, but not from pain. No. This is glorious, the torture mixed with the pleasure. I don’t want it to end.

“Come, Lucy… come with me.” His hand reaches between us. His fingers brush over my hard nub. My world blasts apart into a million shining stars.

I cry out and hold on to him as if he’s the only thing keeping me from falling apart.

“Yes… doesn’t that feel good?” He drives in again, his head thrown back, and I know he’s let go as well. For several moments, he continues to move in and out, slowing down until finally, he collapses over me. Quickly, he moves aside but gathers me close. He kisses my forehead, a gesture so intimate and foreign that it brings tears to my eyes. Who’d have thought this big, burly man would have so much tenderness in him?

I don’t know what it means, or even if it means anything. Perhaps he does this with all the women he’s with. But I let that go for now. Instead, I close my eyes, leaning into the comfort offered in his arms to fully experience this moment.

I can build my wall again later.

16

DONOVAN

When I dragged Lucy away from Luca and out of the hospital, I had no intention or even an idea that I would end up in bed with her. I was too pissed for that. My head nearly exploded when Lou called and told me that they were ordered by Elena to take her home, leaving Lucy behind with Luca. What the fuck was she thinking? The Conti family has good relationships with Niko, but the Conti family had also done business with the Fioris. For all I knew, Luca might've won the auction. Or worse, Luca and Lucy were a couple. After all, I caught them in an embrace, which was the second time today my head nearly exploded.

Once I got her back to the penthouse, in a stunning turn of events, my ice princess melted, sharing details of her life that made her difficult ways make sense. The emotions that ran through me, the need to kill everyone who hurt her, the need to protect her, the need to soothe and let her know that someone cared overwhelmed me until before I knew it, we were naked and I was thrusting inside her. Fucking hell, she was tight. Too tight. She was a virgin, and I had barreled through like a fucking rutting animal.

Now, as she lies quietly in my arms, I'm trying to make sense of that. Lucy's been married for years. Is it possible she never had sex with her husband? Giuseppe was old and known to be ailing, so perhaps it's possible. But what about the story that she had a boyfriend she'd slept with? That was the reason Giovanni killed him, wasn't it?

I lie still with questions running through my head. Questions about her virginity. Questions about whether the top of my head is still there because I don't think I've ever come so hard, so fiercely as I did with her. Surely, this time, my head did explode.

My dick is deflating, and I need to deal with the condom, but I don't want to move. I'm pretty sure once I do, Lucy's walls will go back up and she’ll push me away again. Unfortunately, I'm about to make a mess. So, with one hand, I slide the condom off, pinching the ends to prevent any leakage.

"I need to deal with this." With more reluctance than anyone can imagine, I disentangle myself from her.

She looks up at me, and I can't decipher her expression.

Not giving her time to tell me to leave, I say, "I'll be right back." I disappear into her bathroom, tying off the condom and tossing it in the trash. I rest my hands on the vanity as I look at myself in the mirror. There's no doubt I'm going to hell when I die. A person doesn't live the life I do and not get punished for it. But I wonder if I'm going to end up there sooner once Nikko finds out what I've done. I truly believe that Lucy's virginity is hers to keep or give away, and clearly, albeit surprisingly, considering what she thinks of me, she'd given it to me. But in my world, virginity is like a commodity. A virginal woman is worth more than her weight in gold. Then again, no one believes she's a virgin, so maybe I'll be spared.

I turn on the cold water and grab a hand cloth, dousing it. When I leave the bathroom, I hold my breath wondering if Lucy is still there. I enter the room, and she’s sitting up in bed, underthe sheets which are pulled up to her neck. My heart cracks open with emotions I’ve never felt before. She looks confused and vulnerable, and all I want to do is wrap her up and protect her from a world that has been so cruel to her.

I stride over to the bed, her eyes watching my every move. I'm naked, and I can see the flicker of fire in her eyes when she takes notice of that.

I join her on the bed, gently tugging the sheets down. "This will help the stinging and bleeding." I set the cloth on her thigh and gently move it toward her pussy, not sure if I’m still allowed to touch her so intimately.

She puts her hand over the cloth, and I pull my hand back, maneuvering myself so I can look at her. I feel like I need to say something, but I'm not quite sure what.

She stares at me and then arches a brow, telling me my feisty Lucy is on her way back. "You're not going to say something like I should've told you that I never did this before, right?"

I shrug. "Your sexual experience is yours, but had I known, I might have been gentler."

"Might?"

I give her a sheepish smile. "I would've tried, anyway. I wanted you so fucking badly for so long. But once I did know, I did try to take things down a notch or two."

Her eyes widen, and she blinks like the proverbial deer. It's like what I said surprised her, and that fact surprises me. Is it that I admitted to wanting her? That shouldn’t be a surprise. It’s not like I haven’t kissed her or touched her before. Or is it that I toned it down? Perhaps she doesn’t expect anything from men except brute force. Considering her history, it’s not a wrong assumption on her part.

We stare at each other for a moment and curiosity gets the best of me. "I meant what I said that your sexual history isyours, but considering you were married and what your father did before he married you off?—"

"My father sold me."

The anger I have for Giovanni begins to simmer again. "I have a fantasy of getting your father alone in a room. I'd like to include your mother now too. And I’d torture them with excruciating, agonizing pain day after day, year after year into eternity."