Page 51 of Living La Vida Mocha
And other stimulants, which were neither here nor there.
“But keeping a healthy diet free of sugar also seems to help.” He faced me. “It’s all about balance. A very delicate balance.”
I reflected and didn’t remember ever seeing him eat a donut or add sweeteners to his drinks. “And that aids in keeping you…?” I didn’t want to say healthy as it implied he was unhealthy, and maybe he was clinically, but…
Ugh, I wanted to scream about the whole thing but suddenly, I was starting to understand why he pushed me away – why it was necessary to breakmyheart. In a way, in his dark and twistedly warped way, he was protecting me from the new life he was now living.
Just thinking about all the ramifications, my heart broke all over again, but in ways I didn’t fully comprehend.
“Oh, Carter.” I climbed over and snuggled into his arms as the tears started streaming once more, but I didn’t care. I stared deeply into his eyes, searching for the love we once shared. Daring it to release itself from the darkness. “I wished you’d been upfront with me and told me everything. I would’ve been here for you.” I paused to catch my breath. “With you, I was always all in.”
“Now you know everything.” He kissed the top of my head, and I melted into his arms.
“And I’m never leaving.”
“You say that now, but when the going gets tough, you’ll be gone. They all leave at some point.”
There was such a venom to his words that I had to shake out of his embrace and stare the man down. Then another conversation hit me. “That’s why she left you, isn’t it?”
He didn’t meet my gaze and got up off the couch, walking into the kitchen with a purpose. The eggs took the full onslaught of his sudden burst of anger as he cracked them one by one on the edge of the counter.
Jumping off the couch, I ran to wrap my arms around him. Everything I wanted to say sounded so wrong, and I didn’t have the foggiest of ideas on what to do. Rather than think it through, I did what I knew to do best; I let my instincts guide me.
I spun him around, searching out the suddenly haunted gaze clouding his eyes, and allowed him access to my heart – the one he’d always had. Feeling free, I cupped his face, stroking his soft beard.
“Carter, you listen to me. I’m here, and I’m not leaving. Not now, not ever. If you’re going to walk a dark path, then I’ll walk it beside you, tethering you to my soul. And if you need to sing in the sunshine, I’ll cheer you on. You may have fooled me once, but not anymore.”
In one fell swoop, he lifted me onto the counter and braced his hands on my waist, his gaze searching the depths of my eyes.
“It’s okay.” I tried a light smile with a friendly tone. “You can kiss me. We’ve waited long enough.”
There was no hesitation this time and he pressed his perfect lips against mine while my body simultaneously sent waves of electricity pulsing through to my extremities. In a flash, the ocean between us dried up and we were picking up right where we left off.
I held back, waiting to feel his kiss. To feel him kissing me first. When his lips touched mine, and he took control, I surrendered. Fully and without reservation. My fingers threaded through his thick hair, I pulled him close and begged him not to leave me – he needed to know everything would be okay. For the first time in years, I was connected to another living soul on a deep and meaningful level, and I allowed that rush to guide me as time melted away.
I clung to him as if he was my lifeline when it very well could’ve been the other way around.
Chapter Fifteen
The rest of the week zoomed on by, and Friday night’s workshop went off without a hitch. Instead of retreating into a nervous wreck who weakly announced the directions of the activity, my inner entertainer pushed to the surface and ran the show. I was excited – energetic – and found myself enjoying the teaching aspect. Who knew?
Stanley pulled me aside after the last group exited.
“Well done. You rocked the workshop like a champ, I barely even needed to be in here.” He gave me a small wink as he untied his apron and stood in the doorframe between the two stores.
I grabbed the broom, rather pleased myself with how the night went. Everything had been set up well in advance, and all the attendees raved about their trees. An added bonus, at least for me, was how the whole place smelled like Christmas, and combined with the music playing, the magic of the season had descended upon Daisy and Dahlia’s. It was wonderful and infectious. I’d finally found something which made me feel accomplished and useful, and it was not what I’d expected.
I stopped sweeping. “Hey, Stanley.”
“Yeah.” He stepped back into the space.
“This room, this store. What was it before?”
The space was huge, at least double the size of Daisy and Dahlia’s, maybe even triple.
“It was a boutique of some sort. Never visited it really, kinda girlie, but Daisy did. Liked all the makeup and hair things.” He lifted a shoulder.
“And it gets rented out?”