Page 36 of Erotic Behavior (Observant Behaviors)
“Should we go to the hospital?”
“No.”
Beckett reached for my hand, and we made our way up to the house.“My mother is a severe alcoholic.She has been for as long as I can remember, but it got substantially worse after my father died.Although I’m starting to think it was that he just wasn’t around anymore to hide how bad she had gotten.Today she went after William in anger.I guess he knocked over some vase she had sitting on an end table.She’s never done that before, and I won’t let her do that again.”
I looked up at the man, who always seemed unshakable to me.He was the epitome of an all- knowing, all-controlling human being.I had grown to love his control because so much of my life felt like I had none.As I listened to him talk, the realization set in that he was that way because his mother was the one thing he couldn’t control, so he found other things he could.
“Does your sister spend a lot of time here?”
“She lives here.I’ve tried hundreds of times to get her to move, but she’s always been too scared to leave my mother alone.”
“So she just stays here and lets the woman abuse her like that?”
“It’s harder for her than it was for me.I spent a majority of my life taking the brunt of the drama to keep Ashlee from needing to deal with it.My father, in turn, protected me the best he could.When I decided I needed to move on with my life, and separate myself from her daily care, Ashlee moved in.She met her ex and ended up pregnant with William.He left when William was born and now it’s just the two of them.I’ve offered her everything I could think of to leave the toxic situation my mother has put her in.She still loves her, though.My years of protecting Ashlee left her with more good memories of my mother than I ever had.After what happened today, I’m hoping that’s changed.”
We had walked up the back patio and stood in front of a set of french doors.“I’m really sorry I added to your stress today, Beckett.You didn’t deserve that.”
“I did.I should have told you where we were going.I should have explained on the way here, but I was so angry I didn’t trust myself to talk about it without taking it out on you or anyone around me.”
“And now?”
“I’m still angry, but you are too important for me to throw it all away over a misunderstanding.If I lose you because of my mother, it would just be another thing in my life that I allowed her to ruin.”
Beckett reached for the door and I followed him through the house and we moved towards the sounds of his sister’s voice and William’s laughter.The baby was in a booster seat at the table, snacking on some fruit and laughing as if he didn’t have a care in the world.It was hard to believe that he had anything other than a perfectly happy and normal upbringing.With one look at Ashlee, I could tell that wasn’t the case.She sat there smiling at her son while holding her side as we approached.Sadness seemed to surround her and if I hadn’t let my jealousy get in the way, I would have seen it before.
“Hi, I’m Raven.Sorry about earlier,” I said, reaching out my hand to take hers.
“It’s nice to finally meet you.I wondered if my brother had just dreamed you up.The way he talks about you, it’s as if you are a fantasy come to life.”
“I can assure you I am very real,” I said with a smile.
“I wish we met on better terms.Today, we aren’t exactly at our best.”
“It’s okay, I understand.Really, I do.”I looked up at Beckett when I felt him clutch my hand a little tighter, then I leaned over to greet William.
“So if that’s your mommy, then you must be William.”The small boy gave me a big smile and I couldn’t help but smile back.“Is that nanners you have?I just love nanners.”
William picked up a piece of banana in his slimy hand and stretched it out in my direction.“Oh, why, thank you, it’s so sweet of you to share your treat with me.”
I took the small piece of banana from him and pretended I ate it as I made a big show of rubbing my tummy and telling him how good it was as he laughed.
“Well, Beckett, you rarely surprise me, but this one… she is the best kind of surprise.”I heard Ashlee say as I played peekaboo with William, enticing even more giggles out of him than before.His little laughter was addicting.
“She is amazing.”
I felt Beckett’s large, warm hand at my back and I wanted to lean into him.
“He’s an absolute doll,” I said, turning back toward Ashlee and gesturing to William.
“Thank you.He’s been through quite an ordeal today, but he’s a resilient little guy.”
“It doesn’t have to be this way,” Beckett said to his sister, “Why don’t you come back to the city with Raven and I?”
“She’s gone now Beck, I’ll have some time to figure things out.”
“I can’t leave you here anymore and I don’t want to endanger Raven by moving here with her to protect you.I won’t leave her, and I can’t leave you and William.Something has to give.You’ve known for a while that you needed to move on from all this, even if you don’t want to admit it.It’s time.”
I watched as Ashlee did her best to hold back the tears in her eyes.I understood where Beckett was coming from, but this didn’t seem like the time for this conversation.