Page 16 of Cyclone
“You won’t, honey.” There was a pause and he stiffened. “Sorry. Slipped out.”
Try as I might, I couldn’t suppress the giggle that escaped. “It’s OK. I might have overreacted about the nickname. Just a touch.”
“For what it’s worth, it’s an endearment I mean. You’ve always been sweet as honey as long as I’ve known you.”
“I’ve had a crush on you since I was old enough to think boys weren’t gross.” I wasn’t sure why I let that slip. It probably made me seem even more pathetic than I already did.
He sighed. “I’m sorry this happened, Willa. But I’d be a Goddamned liar if I told you the whole situation didn’t affect me. I’m still working through my emotions, but I have a need to be close to you. Holding you… it soothes me somehow. I can’t explain it any better. At least not yet.”
That surprised me.
I snuggled deeper into Cyclone’s warm embrace, feeling his heartbeat against my back. His words touched me deeply, and I could feel the emotions swirling inside me. It was a strange feeling, being so vulnerable with him. “It soothes me too.” My voice was barely above a whisper, and I don’t know if he heard me.
I have no idea why I decided to turn over to face Cyclone. I looked up into his face and found an intensity in his eyes that made my mouth go dry. My pulse quickened as I studied him. What was happening between us was more than just a comforting embrace and reassurance. It was a connection, a bond I couldn’t explain and didn’t want to think about right now. I was still angry at the man. At least, I knew I needed to be. As if magnetized, our lips met, and a spark ignited. And I was lost.
We kissed lightly at first, then he deepened the kiss and I followed willingly. Eagerly. Our bodies molded together as if they belonged to each other. The world melted away, leaving only the two of us lost in pleasure. Cyclone’s hands moved down to my hips, pulling me even closer against him as we continued to kiss.
My mind was spinning, trying to understand what was happening and trying to decide if I wanted to push him away. I probably needed to, but did I really want to? No. I knew I didn’t want him to stop. Cyclone ignited a fire inside me that I had no hope of getting under control. There was a sense of euphoria as I surrendered to the moment, my body entwined with his. He pulled back slightly to look at me, his eyes clouded with pleasure.
“I’m not sure what will happen tomorrow, but I want tonight. And it’s not just about sex.”
I blinked up at him, confused and lust stupid. “It’s not?”
“I thought it was, baby, but my feelings are so far from ‘just sex’ it’s not even funny.”
“But… you don’t want a woman.” Confusion warred with hurt, and I put a little more distance between us. “If you don’t want sex with me, just say so. It’s not like I’d force myself on you.” Did I sound bitter? Maybe. I did push back then, but his arms tightened around me, not letting me move away from him like I desperately needed to.
“I don’t want a woman in my life. At least…” He shook his head, his brow furrowing. “I didn’t. Now, I’m not so sure.”
My heart beat so hard it was a roar in my ears. How many nights had I lain awake wishing he’d seek me out? Had I stopped wanting him after that disastrous morning after? No. I hadn’t. I wasn’t sure I’d ever stop wanting Cyclone. “I know you probably won’t believe me considering I came to that party for one reason, but I don’t think I can do casual sex again. You were… I mean… I hadn’t ever…”
“I know.” He smiled tenderly at me, stroking my cheek with the pad of his thumb. “At least, I figured. There was blood on the sheets. I was your first lover. Wasn’t I?” Then he stilled, his eyes narrowing. “Why did you come to that party?”
I snorted. “To get laid. That’s why I’d started drinking. To keep my courage up.”
“So, any of my brothers would have done?” The emotions on his face changed so rapidly it was hard to keep up. But I thought I saw anger, bitterness… maybe even a touch of hurt.
“No. I meant it when I said I’d had a crush on you for a long time. While I admit I wasn’t sure whose lap I fell into, my intention was always to try to seduce you.”
Trembling in his arms, I whimpered. I’d laid myself bare to him. He knew how long I’d wanted him. He knew he’d taken my virginity. And he was still in bed with me, about to make love to me again. Or, rather, he was about to have sex with me again. At least, I kind of hoped that’s what we were going to do.
“So it was me.”
“Yes, Daniel. It’s always been you.” My voice was barely above a whisper. I knew it was a bad idea, that it probably made me too stupid to live, but I wanted this one last time. We might never do this again, might never share all this passion I thought might affect both of us, but I wanted it. One time. Sober so I could enjoy it fully.
He stroked my cheek, giving me a gentle smile before leaning in to kiss my lips softly. When he pulled back, he pressed his forehead to mine. “Then, let’s do it right this time. We’re both stone-cold sober. We both know I’ve already gotten you pregnant. There’s an attraction between us I can’t fight and I ain’t even sure I want to try.”
“Cyclone…”
“Shh…” He kissed me again before continuing. “I ain’t promisin’ a happily ever after, but I’d like to at least explore what it’s like to have you in my life, Willa. If it doesn’t work out, at least we’ll know.”
“One day at a time?”
“That’s it exactly.” I bit my lip, glancing away from him, but Cyclone caught my chin gently and turned my face back up to his. “I promise I won’t betray you, honey. I won’t slip behind your back and fuck other women. While we’re working this out, it’s me and you. No one else. If either of us decide it’s not right, we’ll talk to the other about it before we move on. Yes?”
That sounded better. “You promise?”
“I do. And I never break my word. It’s something Cain taught me almost from the moment me and Cliff came to live at Bones. I’m not perfect, as evidenced by the way I’ve handled this situation so far, but I never break my word.”