Page 77 of What Burns Between
"Any siblings?"
“A brother.” I swallow hard and silently curse my burning eyes. “I don’t know where he is.”
The ensuing silence eats at my confidence; each second that passes without Tyke saying another word, racketing my heart rate. Hands fisted in my lap, I slowly turn my head and find him studying me. His chest rises and falls in steady, yet quickened, breaths. I dare to wet my lips, the sound of my tongue moving across the flesh deafening in the otherwise quiet room—save for the rush of air in and out of his lungs. "What?"
"What did they do to hurt you, baby girl?"The cadence of his words rumbles through my chest.
My fingernails make divots in my palms, flesh on fucking fire with my shame. "It's not what they did. It's what they didn’tdo." I swallow away the feeling of thumbtacks in my throat, the constriction hard enough to speak past. “You got any idea how fucking soul-crushing it is to have your parents sit in a room with you while a mediator details the way a guy has treated you like shit for the better part of three years, only to have them agree thatyou’reequally to blame. That if I ‘hadn’t provoked him’ or if I’d just ‘let him do what he will without reaction’ that he would have been happier with me and left me alone.” My chest heaves—the anger a physical pain between my shoulder blades. “As though it’s understandable that’d he’d find it hard to comprehend abusing a girl is just fucking wrong. They told me I should have donebetter.”
His movements are slow, careful, as though not to spook me when he sets his hands on either side of the office chair and turns it to face him. “Take a deep breath, sweetheart.” I’m met with slightly peaked brows and warm amber eyes fixated on mine with the shadow of something I haven't seen in a long time: true compassion. "Don't ever apologize for fallin’ short of the bar others raise for you. That's their measure, not yours."
I blink several times, yet the sting grows. "It doesn't make me feel very good, though." I huff a disparaging laugh out my nose. "Doesn't do much for the confidence when all you're ever told is what you do wrong, never praised for what you do right." I jerk my chin a little to one side and use the heel of my hand to shove the traitorous tears back.“My parents never said they were sorry I’d been hurt. They never gave me credit for suffering through Greg’s shit for so long. Never made me feel good about howstrongI was to endure that.”
Fingers find my nape, Tyke's grip sure and warm on either side of my neck. "You've done good, Rae." He tugs me toward him, my temple resting against his forehead. "You hear me? You did good to stand up for yourself, to put distance between you and those assholes, and to get yourself here. Safe."
"I could have done better, though." I hiccup a sob. "I should have walked away from Connor sooner. It would have saved all this shit to beginwith."
"Could'a, should'a, would'a," he mutters, pushing me away far enough to look me in the eye. "Magical words used to appease our conscience, Rae. They're fuckin’ useless. All they do is add to your guilt. You don't need them." He searches my gaze, lips a mere inch from mine, when he adds, "You fought for yourself when most others would fold. You admitted your faults and took ownership of those mistakes. Hell." His brow pinches. "That's more than half these fuckers around here could manage to do. You're brave." He sets his free hand on my chest. "You're strong, and you're just. You're a good person, Rae."
He says the words—and they seem right—but I can’t bring myself to believe them.
The heat of his palm blooms across my chest, focusing my awareness on the contact.
I glance down at his wrist and then settle my gaze on his face. Why does he still touch me? What does the twitch of his fingertips mean?
I don't need to wonder much longer, his lips parting slightly, gaze fixated on my mouth before he leans forward and erases the small space between us. His kiss is gentle, tender, and wary. It's as though he doesn't trust my reaction. Trust himself. The barest brush of his lips over mine—once, twice.
The smallest gap to allow me to say no.
I lean in.
I'm fucking going to hell.
Tyke's fingers find my hair, his grip firm against the side of my head when he buries his hand amongst my loose waves. And yet, he doesn't pull back. There's no regret, no'I shouldn't have fucking made you do this.'Only conviction as he pinches my bottom lip between his, using the grip on my head to angleme for better access. He's warm, attentive, and oh so fucking welcome.
“I guess my answer was yes,” I breathe between us. “I could imagine you and me.”
He kisses me gently, uttering a satisfied grunt deep in his throat as he does.
I sigh.
The relief sweeps through me, a wave of euphoria heightened by the contrast of his firm hands on my hips. Tyke jerks me forward in the seat until I spill off the front edge, damn near sitting in his lap. He palms my ass, keeping me close as he peppers kisses across my cheekbone to my ear before whispering, "You've got the power to stop this.” My lobe slips between his teeth. "All you gotta do is say it, baby girl, if that's what you want."
But I don't. And I feel fucking filthy for realizing so. He's my fucking friend's father. His daughter is my fucking age. Societal norms embedded into my very being scream that this is wrong in so many ways. And yet my heart can't find a single fuck to give. It wants to be loved.Iwant to be loved.
I proved that two nights ago.With his brother.Shit.
“What will they think of this?”
Tyke frowns, eyes narrowed. “Who?”
“The other members,” I hedge. I rest my hands on his jean-clad knees, silently assuring him I don’t want our contact to end just yet.
“They do what I say, Rae. And if I say you’re okay to fuckin’ have me, then I’m yours to take.” He swallows. “Fuck what anyone thinks.”
Maybe I leap further ahead than he is at this moment. But the possibility that I could be cared for, protected, andappreciatedhas me gripping the sides of his leather vestto pull him toward me. I want to feel his raw power around me. I wantto be enveloped in the brawn I've watched walk around this goddamn place since I got here. Know what it feels like to have that intention directed solely at me.
Tyke doesn't disappoint.