Page 78 of Rescuing Rebel
“Yes, sir,” I reply demurely, keeping my eyes downcast.
“She trained the latest group of recruits herself. They're coming along beautifully thanks to her guidance and firm hand.” Kaufman chuckles while I fight to keep my smile intact.
“I must say, she looks too spirited to be so obedient,” Crawford comments doubtfully.
“And there is where perfection lies,” Kaufman preens. He reaches over, grasping my hand. “The thrill lies in owning a willful yet obedient slave. Killing their spirit is easy. Any slob can do that. I offer something different. Something unique.” Kaufman’s eyes harden, and panic lances through me, but I speak up in a sweet, deferential tone.
“What Kaufman is trying to say is that it’s my pleasure to serve his wishes, as your Angel will take pleasure in serving yours. This is what Haven offers to the discerning client. To you…”
Kaufman relaxes, patting my hand indulgently. “You see? Utterly devoted. My training methods are most effective.”
“Indeed. I’m impressed.” Crawford takes a sip of wine. “Tell me, my dear, what methods do you employ to tame such strong-willed fillies?”
I swallow hard but launch into the rehearsed speech, detailing our process of breaking and conditioning the women into obedient pets. Crawford listens avidly, hunger in his eyes.
Kaufman loves my performance, patting my hand with affection. “He has a certain woman in mind to train as his personal Angel.”
“And you can ensure she’ll be completely devoted to me?”
“Yes, sir.” My reply is a dull and listless thing. “The training eliminates any sense of self. An Angel’s sole purpose is serving her owner’s needs.”
Kaufman beams with pride as though I’m a prized horse performing tricks on command.
The darkness in this place runs deep, but I’ll continue to choke down my revulsion to become what they want. If playing my part convinces these women to become Angels, it will have been worthwhile. It will have been worth it if I can plant the seeds that someday lead to Haven’s destruction.
The night drags on in a blur of forced smiles and veiled humiliation. I feel Kaufman’s eyes on me the entire time, glinting with sick satisfaction at his control over me.
After an eternity, I’m permitted to leave. In the hall, I once again pass Ethan speaking with the guards. These random encounters are too frequent as if he stalks me through the halls of Haven.
His eyes bore into mine at my approach, forcing me to confront the stranger I’ve become. My steps falter at the strained distance between us, but I continue on, hugging my arms around myself.
I duck my head and hurry, disgusted with myself.
Alone in my room, I scrub my skin raw, trying to remove the shame of this place. A sob hitches in my throat as I wrap my arms around myself. I want to claw my way out of this vile place.
The door to my room creaks as it opens. It’s Ethan again. He steps inside, features etched with grim purpose. My shoulders slump, and I brace for another round of interrogation about my role here and Haven’s depraved practices.
“Please,” I beg, throat raw. “I can’t…” Truthfully, I’m tired. I’m tired of pretending—of surviving—of lying.
A broken sound escapes me. Before I can stop myself, I lurch forward, clutching at his shirt as sobs wrack my frame. The emotions I’ve been choking down release in a flood of tears and gut-wrenching sobs. I cling to Ethan, tears spilling down my cheeks.
His arms wrap around me, surrounding me in his warmth and strength.
I wish I could confide in him.
One of his hands strokes my hair while the other rubs soothing circles on my back. I bury my face in his chest, breathing him in, letting the steady thump of his heart ground me. We stand entwined for long moments as my sobs gradually subside.
“I’ve got you,” Ethan murmurs. “You’re safe.”
He’s wrong, but I allow myself a moment to believe his quiet reassurances. It loosens the tight knot inside my chest. For now, his arms are refuge enough. I cry until no tears remain, soaking the front of his shirt. He continues holding me, cheek pressed to my hair, as my breathing gradually calms.
Exhausted, I sag against him, soaking up his strength. There are no simple fixes here, no easy choices, but letting him comfort me eases the bleakness inside, if only for a moment.
“You don’t have to bear this alone,” Ethan whispers. “I see good in you. Don’t let this place extinguish your light.” His voice is thick with emotion. “I can help you.”
“I’m beyond redemption.” I shake my head, too spent to argue anymore. Whatever comes next, just having him here gives me the courage to continue.
For now, this is enough.