Page 109 of A Real Good Bad Thing
MY LONE WOLF THING
Jake
I walked.
Did I ever walk. I covered the entire length of Seven Mile Beach that evening. Fine, that wasn’t some huge feat of physical fitness, but I needed to burn off some frustration. I was mad about the case. Mad about the way everything had come up empty.
Most of all, I was angry with myself.
As I neared the end of the beach, my phone buzzed with a reminder to call Kylie back and find out how the test went. At least that was one relationship I couldn’t fuck up.
I didn’t even have a chance to ask my question. As soon as we connected, her joyful voice blasted out of the phone.
“I got an A on my test!Can you believe it?”
God, I needed this happy news. I beamed, even with no one to see it. “Yes, I can believe it. I’m so proud of you. I knew you could do it.”
“It was all thanks to your friend. That convo with Ruby the other night helped me a ton.”
I flinched at her name. Tried to keep it out of my voice as I stopped to watch the ocean crashing against the shore. “I’m glad to hear that.”
Kylie’s enthusiasm was like electricity over the phone. “Yes, half the test wound up being on the topic she helped me with. But the way she explained it just clicked. Is she there so I can thank her?”
I’d stuck the knife in with the stupid way I’d handled things, but Kylie’s question twisted it. “She’s not here right now.”
“Okay!” my sister said cheerfully. “Will you tell her thanks for me, then?”
I mumbled something noncommittal.
“Uh-oh,” she said. “What did you do?”
“Who says I did anything?” Wow, that wasn’t defensive or anything.
“Oh, I don’t know…your past?” she teased. “I bet you pushed her away because of your whole lone wolf thing.” She dropped her pitch like she was mocking me. “The job is everything. I can’t trust anyone. I can’t trust my girly love emotions. Which is kind of misogynistic, FYI But you’re my brother and I love you anyway.”
Wow. That felt like ten years of therapy in a few choice sentences. “Um…that’s a lot.”
“So, what did you do?”
“Nothing,” I lied. “We had a misunderstanding.”
Kylie’s silence was condemning.
I relented. “Okay, maybe I pushed her away because I didn’t trust my emotions. But I don’t think love is girly,” I grumbled.
“Well, did she cheat on you? Betray you?”
I heaved a sigh. “No,” I said unequivocally.
“Then I’m guessing it can be fixed. And she’s really awesome, so you need to try to fix things.”
“I’ll take that under advisement,” I said, then I stopped, realizing where my feet had taken me. The Pink Pelican. My therapy, I suppose. Not the liquor, but the drown-your-sorrows vibe intrinsic to a good dive bar. “Hey, congrats on the A. I’ll talk to you soon.”
“Love you, Jake.”
“Love you too.”
It was nine at night, so the place was busy, but Maris headed my way and slapped down a napkin. “What’ll it be?” When she raised her face, she grinned. “Jake the fisherman! How are you?”