Page 103 of Vicious Impulses (The Capo and Ballerina)
“I wasn’t sure either. But I always hoped it was.”
Once we turn in for the night, Caelian spends his time taking his medication and treatment. I wind down like I usually do, with a hot shower and some self-care. The warning look Mom had given me replays in my head as I splash my face with cleanser and secure my hair with pins.
When I’m certain he’s not looking, I sneak into the closet and check my luggage to ensure my things are still there—myrealthings zipped up in the luggage I brought so many weeks ago. Personal possessions like my personal documents and the snow globe Dad gifted me…
Caelian pats the space on the bed next to him when I emerge from the bathroom. I crawl on and settle beside him.
“Today was good. We should do this each year.”
My heart aches. I give a nod. “Yeah… that sounds wonderful…”
“What is it? You’re upset about something. I can always tell. You get this sad frown on your face like a kitten.”
I’d be amused if I weren’t weighed down by the conflicted feelings swirling inside of me. It seems I’m destined to be put in difficult situations where I’m forced to make impossible choices that have no win.
The burden feels unbearable on my shoulders. I close my eyes and curse Mom for doing this to me again—making the safety and survival of our family hinge on my actions. It’s a responsibility no daughter should ever have. Yet it’s how my parents have maneuvered throughout their time dealing with Nero and the Vorones.
But, for as much as I’ve fallen for Caelian, can I subject him to our mess? Mom is right when she says they’ll come for him harder than ever.
They’ll punish Dad. They’ll likely kill him…
I curl into Caelian and bury my face in his chest. His arms come up to secure me in place, holding me snug against him as tears wet my eyes and a silent cry leaks out of me. He recognizes what’s happening, his large hand sweeping across my spine.
“It’s alright, Nevi,” he hushes. “Tell me what it is. I won’t get angry… or violent.”
There’s a hint of humor in his husky voice.
I can’t get the words out straightaway. I cry and sniffle and squeeze into him like I’m trying to fuse his body with mine. The warmth he radiates and the hard contours of his muscles have become soothing comforts over our brief time together.
“Cael,” I mutter, “my mom wants me to go away with her tonight. She wants me to leave with my belongings so that I can help free my father from Nero.”
His hand stills on my back. His chest muscles flex. “The code that you have?”
“Yes…”
“And she didn’t want you to tell me?”
“She said it was best if…” I can’t even finish my words.
His inhale is rough and belabored. “You’re not going anywhere, Nevi.”
“I don’t…” I lift my head up to peer into his eyes, mine like glass. “I don’t want to. I want to be with you.”
“Then that’s where you’ll remain. Your mother will have to figure out another way.”
“But my dad…”
His large hands take hold of my face. “Then we’ll figure out how to free him from Nero. I will help you.”
“I don’t think it would be fair to involve you any more than you already are.”
“You’re my wife. It’s what I’m here for. There’s a lot for us to sort through between your family being beholden to Nero and mine as well. I don’t have the same loyalty to my life as you do to yours. But we will find a way to help them.”
“I love you, Cael.”
“Mia bella ballerina, I more than love you. I dream of you.”
We kiss and cuddle ’til our eyelids refuse to stay open. Caelian’s medications kick in and my fatigue traps me. I slip off to sleep, spooned in his arms.