Page 34 of Broken Strings
“Sure. I grew up on his first three albums. He’s one of my favorites.” Cash’s eyes dart from my mom’s to mine. I sure as fuck hope she isn’t planning an escape route because I’ll end up in jail for kidnapping.
“He sure was a cowboy in the bedroom, let me tell you.” Mama shakes her head, a deep smile turning up her lips. “The night we played the Opry together, he gave me this. Said he had it made for his wife, but she didn’t sing anywhere near as pretty as I did…”
Fuck, here we go. My mom reminiscing about all her affairs and the marriages she broke up isn’t a conversion I want her to have with my already skittish girlfriend. “Okay, well, always lovely revisiting memory lane, but—”
“Oh, don’t get all jealous of me because you gave up on the career you could’ve had, Gunner. I opened doors for you and gave you the best shot in the business. But instead of climbing that ladder and reaching for the moon, you dropped everything, moved here, and opened a pathetic bar,” my mother rambles.
Good old Loretta Shaw, the queen of country music, the pioneer for women in the industry, and a sloppy drunk who never appreciates what she has unless it can put her in a damn alcoholic coma.
“Hey, Mrs. Shaw. I’d love to hear all about your time in the industry. I’m just coming off my first world tour. There were so many things I want to do better next time. Would you like to take a walk outside with me? We’ll get some fresh morning air and talk music—”
Mom’s eyes hold Cash’s for long beats before she trails her gaze up and down her body. “Do you write your own music?”
“It’s my favorite part,” Cash says with a nervous smile.
“Well, ain’t we two peas in a cute little pod?” Mom grins at me, loops her arm with Cash’s, and lets her guide her out the front door.
I have to do something about my mom, but I haven’t figured out what yet. She wants to fight with me about everything I say rather than find a solution. The only thing I know for sure is that there’s no way I’ll let Cash be in the orbit of a mean drunk.
I stare through the window like a peeping tom as my mother and Cash wander the front yard. They pause, and Cash says something that makes my mother’s face contort like she’s just heard the most disgusting thing imaginable. Before I know it, my mother pulls her arm back and slaps Cash in the face.
Chapter 18
Cash
The sting from Loretta’s slap leaves me speechless. We came out here to talk about music, life, anything, but I sure as hell didn’t expect her to turn on me the second we were alone.
“Get the fuck off my property!” Gunner yells as he barrels out of the house toward us. He pulls me behind him, shielding me from his mother’s death glare.
Her eyes widen in disbelief. “You can’t be taking the side of some hussy over your own mamma.”
“I’m taking the side of the woman who’s saved me over the woman who’s drowned me.”
Gunner’s words shock me. I can’t imagine how bitter their bite is for Loretta.
“Gunner Finnigan Shaw, how dare you talk to me like that! I’m your mother!”
Gunner fists his hands, and the muscles in his back go taut. It’s almost as if he’s holding himself back with an invisible string. “You call yourself a mother?I’vetaken care ofyoumy entire life, Mama. I was eight years old the first time you drank so much you fell into the glass coffee table. I’ll never forget how you pretended everything was okay as you tucked me into bed and left blood-stained hand prints all over my Spiderman sheets.”
Loretta steps back as if Gunner has slapped her like she just slapped me.
But it doesn’t slow Gunner down. It’s like the dam holding back his emotions has shattered, and the cascading water of his pain drowns everything in its wake. “You want to talk about me fucking around, Loretta? How about when I came home from camp, and you were so fucked out of your mind that you forgot to kick out the three leach musicians in your bed? Want to know why I never did drugs, Mother? Especially since they were in every damn nook and cranny of your house? It was seeing one of those men snort cocaine from your ass crack while you sucked the dick of another because they covered it in blow.”
Tears stream down Loretta’s face. I’m unsure if they’re due to sorrow, shame, or anger. She stares at her son for a moment before she drops her gaze and roots in her bag. I assume she’s searching for her flask. “Ungrateful. After everything I’ve done for you. I should’ve aborted you like your daddy wanted.”
Gunner’s snarl is deep and scary. “Don’t you dare. That man was a saint. He was there despite everything you put him through. He loved you with all his heart, and you didn’t deserve one second of it.”
“Gunner,” I stammer, grabbing his forearm, desperate to make him stop before he says something he’ll regret. “Why don’t you walk away? Revisit this once you’ve had a moment to think about it?”
He turns to me, his blue eyes as cold as ice. “I’ve had decades to think on it. I’ve spent my life deciding for her. Abandoned a successful career with what is now the most successful band in America.”
“Successful? Those clowns in masks,” Loretta scoffs. She bends to the side to look me in the face. “He and his friends started a weird little band where they wore masks and screamed emo lyrics. Those boys wouldn’t have made it anywhere. Absolute no-talent trash.”
“Is that why I’m a millionaire, Mother? Because of all the worthless songs my trashy friends perform to millions of fans. Gutless Void has gone triple platinum four times, won ten Grammys, and played to sold-out stadiums. I should’ve been on that stage, but I gave it up to be near you. To ensure you didn’t end up killing yourself.”
My feet are heavy like I’m sinking in quicksand. I’m unsure what’s more shocking: Gunner being the principal songwriter of one of the world's biggest alternative metal bands or giving up his dreams to take care of his alcoholic mother.
“Go home, Mother. Go home and don’t come back until you’re ready to get help because I’m not willing to spend another twenty years watching you disintegrate while trying to kill yourself. It’s my turn to live my life, and it’s your choice if you want to be a part of it.”