Page 38 of Cut of the Dark Elf's Blade

I am the only one who has that kind of control over myself. And I am not willing to give it up now.

Neveah turns to look at me then, and I leave wordlessly and close her bedroom door quietly behind me.

I walk outside, too wired up to sleep, and too focused on Neveah to attempt to sleep.

I feel like this often. Usually, it is after I have just completed a job. In situations like these, I would normally go to the Red District of whatever city I am in, to enjoy the delights on offer.

But now, all I want is Neveah. However, tonight she is out of bounds.

If I go back into her room, I’d destroy her. And myself in the process.

After a while, I find what I am looking for. The outer wall of the servants’ quarters. I find Neveah’s window easily enough, and after I vault myself into the air and cling to a tree branch outside her window, I peer into the window and watch her as she sleeps.

She sleeps restlessly, turning often and groaning in her sleep several times.

A very large part of me wants to go in there and take her in my arms.

Why the fuck am I feeling this way?I think, disgusted by myself. I pull a knife from my boot and close my palm around the blade.

What has she fucking done to me to cause this? Why does she have this hold on me? No woman has ever driven me to this kind of edge before! And now, I am teetering on the edge of something unknown, with only Neveah to pull me back from it.

I grip the knife and sigh with pleasure as blood wells up from the fresh wounds on my hands.

A light flickers on in the distance, off to my right. When I turn, I see that the light in the manor that I am supposed to share with my brother is on.

Is Rhiucra actually going to sleep there tonight? Does he know I am not there?

After a few minutes, the light goes off again, and everything is silent.

The Ilnais estate, my family estate, sprawls out around me, grand and imposing. Sometimes I forget the magnitude of my family’s wealth, but in quiet moments like this, when I see just how much land we have, I am reminded of it.

One day it will all be mine. Mine and Rhiucra’s, anyway. I am sure Father will see sense and give me the bigger portion of it all.

My ruminating is interrupted by movement from Neveah’s room. At first, I think she has woken up. But then I see it is her little iypinnit that has just slipped into her room.

The creature looks up at the window and sees me there on the tree branch, staring at it.

The little creature’s eyes narrow, and I can hear the slow, slight growl, even through the brick wall.

For a second, it feels like the iypinnit is judging me. I am tempted to wrench open the window and throw a rock at it, or suffocate it until it is dead.

Neveah would never talk to you again then,a calm voice in my head says.

I know then that the creature will only live because I don’t want to provoke Neveah’s ire.

She’d probably find a way to kill you. And she’d get away with it, too.I think this to myself as I remember her fierce anger towards my brother and me.

The iypinnit walks around the room several times, still very aware of my presence. I watch as it sniffs around the room before it jumps up onto the bed and wiggles its way into Neveah’s arms.

Neveah does not wake up, but her arms loosen and then tighten slightly around the creature as she sleeps.

I have never seen anyone more beautiful,I think to myself, almost dispassionately, and I tighten my other palm around the blade of the knife.

I hiss with pleasured pain as I cut myself deeper than I meant to.

I have never seen anyone more beautiful, and I think I hate her for it. And I am never going to let anyone else have her beauty.

She is mine. She will never be free of me.