Page 92 of Dark Knight
“Sure. Come on in.”
She’s still wary, eyes narrowed, but she steps back and holds the door open for me. I’m keen to step inside, especially since the night has only gotten colder since I left the house. I blow on my cupped hands to warm them up – then notice she is not alone. There’s a lanky guy around our age sitting on the sofa, eating from a big bowl of popcorn and looking at me like I’m the enemy.
“Oh, shit. Seriously, I’m sorry. I can come back –”
“No, it’s fine.” She gestures toward the guy. “Romero, this is Jeff. Jeff, Romero.” Jeff jerks his chin in greeting.
Then, I notice another surprise, something else I wasn't expecting. There are toys scattered on the floor in front of the TV. “Wait a second. Are you… I mean, do you…”
She rolls her eyes, laughing. “Yes, I’m a mom. She’s three. Her name is Ava.” And even as she says it, a soft smile lights up her face. “I would introduce you, but she’s in bed.”
Well, fuck me. “Wow. I’m happy for you. That’s… That’s great.”
“Half time.” Jeff gets up, holding the bowl. “I’m going to refill this. Do you…” He looks at me, lifting his brows. “Can I get you anything?”
“Oh, thanks, but no. I’m not gonna stay long.” I throw Becky a helpless look, feeling like the world’s most enormous ass. “I just wanted to talk for a second, and then I’ll leave.”
She turns the volume down on the TV, where commentators sum up the first half of the game, before crouching to pick up a few toys. “Well? What did you want to say?”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Tell you what?”
“About all of this. Your kid. Your life.”
She stops to look up at me, sitting back on her heels. “What did you expect? What, did you think you would find me waiting here for you? Life went on. And you never asked,” she adds, frowning.
“You’re right. I didn’t. I… Assumed too much.”
“Yeah, no kidding.”
“Are you happy?”
Her face goes slack for a second like she didn’t expect the question – and she smiles. “Yeah. I am. I mean, I don’t love working at the store, but it puts food on the table for my little girl. Jeff’s a great dad. And he’s good to me. That’s more than a lot of people can say. So yeah, I am, even if I never really thought about it.”
“I’m really glad. You deserve that.”
She bites her lip, tucking a piece of dark hair behind her ear before standing. “Why did you really come here?”
Here goes nothing. I need to get it all out at once. “I’m sorry for how things went when you came to the house. I was wrong to act as I did. You didn’t deserve that. I’m… sorry.” Fuck me, those words are not easy for me to say. I haven’t had much practice. “I’m sorry for everything.”
She reaches out and grabs my hand, squeezing hard before letting go. “I know.”
“I just needed to say it and know you know I mean it. I went down and talked to the guys, too.”
“Good.” When she smiles, God, it’s like ten years melt away. It’s easy to remember how I fell for her as hard as I did. She was the one good thing in my life. Sometimes, the only thing that kept me hanging on.
“I better go.” I peer deeper into the house, toward the kitchen where Jeff disappeared. “I don’t want to start trouble by hanging around.”
“You know, you can come back anytime. It would be nice to hang out.”
“Yeah, that would be nice.”
I won’t. I can’t. I think she knows it – there’s a little bit of sadness in her voice. We can’t go back and reclaim yesterday. I wouldn’t want to, even if I could.
“Will you do me a favor?” she asks, touching my shoulder to stop me before I step outside.
“If I can.”