Page 92 of Kings Have No Mercy
The disbelieving laugh that rushes out of me does so without my permission. It’s a knee-jerk, involuntary reaction to hearing his words.
“You think I should feel lucky that you and your club didn’t kill me? Seriously?!”
His jaw clenches. “If it was anybody else—”
“But it wasn’t anybody else! It was me, and it hurt! What you did, how you spoke to me, how small you made me feel. You fucked me like your worst enemy, like you wanted me to know I was worthless, then you kicked me out like I was nothing. Do you know how humiliating that was?”
“You betrayed me! What the fuck was I supposed to do? You spent weeks undercover, assuming I was some cold-blooded murderer, plotting to take me and the MC down. You think that shit’s easy to get over? You think I was going to take that kinda betrayal laying down?”
I shake my head, feeling lost. “I don’t know what to think. That’s the problem. I’m so damn confused… so sick of this. All I wanted was to find Pop’s killer and get him justice. I never meant to… to…”
“What, Syd? Spit it out!” he growls.
I’ve wrenched my arm from his tight grasp and spun my back to him. Hot tears glaze my eyes, and I don’t want him to see; he doesn’t get to bear witness to the mess that I am on the inside.
Not anymore.
He lost that privilege the moment he kicked me out of his life.
“I never meant to get in so deep,” I whisper hoarsely. “I didn’t mean to… to… make you all… like me.”
“Well, you did. That’s what you fucking did, Syd. And it was a punch in the gut to learn Sandie, of all fucking people, was right—you weren’t what you said you were!”
“What do you want from me? An apology? I’m sorry! Sorry, I ever came to Pulsboro. Sorry I came to your club and took that job. But I’ve listened to what you wanted, and I won’t show my face there again.”
“You shouldn’t be in Wheaton. It’s Hellrazor territory.”
“Pop was a Hellrazor!” I whip around to face him once more. “It can’t be any more dangerous than being with the Steel Kings in Pulsboro. The men who said they’ll kill me if I ever go back.”
“Listen carefully, Wheaton isn’t the place for you. Jacob Singer was a Hellrazor, but that was many years ago. If you think they’ll show you any mercy, you’re kidding yourself. He walked away from their club, remember?”
“I’m getting out of town. I’m… I’m going somewhere… anywhere… to start over.”
“You’re coming back to Pulsboro,” he says. “With us. We’ll figure things out there.”
A beat of stunned silence lingers between us. I’m taken aback by the ease of his words and how he’s so sure of himself as he waits out my reaction.
“Mace…”
“We were in town tonight for a confrontation with Dirty and the other Hellrazors,” he explains. “I saw you running across the street… which is why I came by. I’ve got to head out. Our mission’s about to go down. But you stay here. You wait a couple hours, and I’ll be back.”
“I’m not leaving with you—I can’t. I broke your trust. You broke mine. There’s no repairing any of it.”
“You wait a couple hours. I’ll come for you. We’ll talk… about everything. Alright?”
It’s a game of tug of war within myself. My mind and my heart on opposite ends, demanding I do opposite things. My heart begs me to agree, obey Mason’s directions, and open myself up to the slim possibility that maybe, just maybe, wecanfix this.
Any ounce of logic urges me to deny him. It reminds me how deeply hurt I was and how it’s most vital I protect myself. I do what’s best regardless of how I feel.
I’m all alone in this world. I can’t trust anyone.
“Syd?” he says after seconds of silence.
Reluctantly, I nod. “Okay… okay… we can talk. Just talk. Here. When you get back. I’m not going to Pulsboro with you.”
“Stay put. Lock the door.” He surprises me by cupping my cheek and angling my face up toward his for a kiss.
I turn my head away, denying him. As much as my heart begs for it, as much as I yearn to taste his lips and fall deep into my addiction, I can’t kiss him.