Page 21 of The Inn on Bluebell Lane

He closed his eyes. “I’m tired,” he said, and it was clearly the end of the conversation.

Ellie leaned back in her chair with a sigh. Part of her felt like being furious. If you had so many doubts, why didn’t you share them with me? But another part felt only sad. Somehow, they’d already grown apart in all this, and she wasn’t even sure how.

CHAPTER 12

GWEN

Gwen stood in the schoolyard by herself, watching the young mums gather in tight little knots, chatting away merrily. She wondered if Ellie had felt so alone this morning, and a shaft of sympathy went through her. None of this was easy.

It had been a long time since her own days as a young mother in this schoolyard, chatting with friends, feeling busy and content. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been here; Owen and Mairi had gone to the primary in their village a few miles away, and in any case, Sarah had rarely asked her to pick them up.

Gwen glanced around, looking for the inevitable changes—it had been thirty years, after all—and noted the new play equipment, a bike shed, an outdoor classroom. Vaguely, she recalled a village fundraiser for the shed; she’d made some cakes. She hoped Josh and Ava had enjoyed their day here. Should she have let Ellie pick them up? She’d wanted to be helpful, but maybe she’d been too pushy. It was so hard to know how to set the right tone.

She thought of Matthew looking so pale and worn in the hospital bed, and her heart lurched within her. At least he was safe. He was alive…

Which made her think, unfortunately, of the wretched voicemail she still hadn’t returned. She needed to call the doctor’s office, and she really didn’t want to. But never mind that now, she told herself. She could hardly make the call in the middle of the schoolyard, with her grandchildren about to emerge from the school on their very first day.

Her heart lifted at the thought of them. Wasn’t this what she’d wanted all along, to be there for her grandchildren, picking them up from school, plying them with freshly baked biscuits and glasses of milk when they returned home? Never mind the voicemail or even Matthew right now, she told herself. She had this moment, at least, and she wanted to treasure it.

She nodded to a few acquaintances she recognized, who were picking up their own grandchildren, and one woman she knew from the village ventured over.

“I don’t usually see you here, Gwen.”

“I know, Sue.” Gwen gave a self-conscious little laugh. “My grandchildren started at the school today. They’ve just moved here from America.”

“Oh yes, I think I heard about that.” Sue nodded thoughtfully. “Must be lovely to have them close by.”

Very close by indeed, Gwen thought, as she smiled. “Oh yes,” she said firmly. “I’m absolutely thrilled.”

The classroom doors opened, each class lining up and then trotting out pupil by pupil, reuniting with their parent or, as was often the case, grandparent. Gwen had always felt a bit envious of her friends and neighbors who had grandchildren locally. Of course, she had Owen and Mairi nearby, but Sarah was always so busy, scheduling them with afterschool activities every day, and treating visits to Bluebell Inn like sporadic fly-bys, Gwen had never felt truly involved or needed, not the way she’d wanted to be.

“Granny?” Josh walked slowly toward her, a frown puckering his little brow. Already he looked worried, his gaze darting around the yard. “Where’s Mom?”

“She had something to do with your father,” Gwen improvised, realizing she should have had an answer ready. “She’ll be back a bit later.”

“She didn’t want to see us right after school?” Josh sounded shocked, and his lower lip wobbled before he quickly looked away. “She said she’d be here,” he commented, half to himself.

Oh dear, maybe Ellie really should have been the one to pick them up.

“She did, Josh,” Gwen assured him, “of course she did. It was just…” She didn’t want to tell him about Matthew’s accident, not here among all these strangers. Already, Gwen was starting to feel out of her depth. “Something came up, I’m afraid. I’ll explain more when we get home. Now, where do you think Ava could be?” She made a big to-do of looking around, trying to hide her desperation with a jolly tone, a ready smile.

“She comes out the Infants door,” Josh said with a nod toward the other end of the school. “I’m in Juniors, Granny.”

“Oh, of course. Silly me.” She should have remembered that, from picking up her own children, so many years ago. The school hadn’t changed that much, although, admittedly, it had got a little bigger. Or maybe it simply seemed bigger, somehow, from what she remembered, when she’d been like one of these other mothers, calm and capable, busy and productive. “Right, then, shall we go and find your sister?” Gwen asked Josh as she reached for his hand.

To her disappointment, he sidled away, ducking his head, not looking at her. Gwen tried to push away that needling, stinging hurt. He was only eight, and it was early days. She had plenty of time to get to know her grandchildren, to bond with them. Hopefully.

Ava was already waiting, holding the teacher’s hand, most of the other children already collected by parents or grandparents who understood about the two entrances, when Gwen reached the Infants door. Ava looked anxious, her eyes wide, her lower lip jutting out, one pigtail drooping, its ribbon lost. She looked even more anxious when she saw Gwen and not Ellie.

“Where’s Mommy?” she demanded.

“She’s busy, darling. How was your first day at school?” Gwen gave the teacher, a woman she didn’t recognize, a harried, grateful smile as she reached for Ava’s hand. Thankfully, the little girl let her hold it, her face lighting up briefly.

“I had chocolate cake at lunchtime! With chocolate sauce!”

“Oh my, that sounds absolutely scrumptious, Ava.” Gwen smiled at her warmly, relieved to be on surer footing. “Now, where do we pick up Ben and Jessica, do you think?”

“They don’t go to this school, Granny,” Josh said, looking anxious again.