Page 229 of Mated to Monsters
My body is leaden as I finally reach his door, my eyes hardly open at all and still puffy from the two hours of sleep I managed to squeeze in.
I knew it was too early to move him into the nursery, I think to myself groggily. This would be so much easier if he was still in the bassinet by our bed.
The door swings open without me even needing to turn the knob, and my brain struggles to process that bit of information as I push into the room. Did I leave his door open on accident?
I’m halfway to the crib when I realize Alvech isn’t inside, and dizzying, overwhelming panic chases away my exhaustion. I whirl, Kha’zeth’s name already building in my throat, when my eyes land on the rocking chair in the corner.
Kha’zeth rocks gently, Alvech squirming on his bare chest as Kha’zeth whispers soothing noises to him. Alvech harumphs and squeaks as he fights to get comfortable against Kha’zeth’s skin. Knee-wobbling relief at the image of the two of them, of my boys, very nearly sends me crashing to the floor.
He’s not gone. He’s okay, he’s safe.
I didn’t even notice when I’d awoken earlier that Kha’zeth wasn’t in bed beside me– I suppose that just goes to show how tired I am. It feels as though I’ve been subsisting off of instincts alone these past few weeks. My mate smiles softly at me in the near dark, his eyes sparkling as if he could read my thoughts.
“Do you want me to take over?” I whisper, approaching the two of them. Kha’zeth only shakes his head, his smile deepening.
“No, my love, I’ve got it. He’s just looking for comfort.”
“Are you sure?” I ask nervously, looking between the two of them. “He usually needs to nurse around this time–”
“Natalie, he’s alright. Better than alright– he’s perfect. I promise I can handle it, and if I get even the slightest inkling that he’s hungry, I’ll bring him to you. You’ve hardly had more than an hour of sleep at a time since he was born. You need to rest.”
A part of me wants to continue to protest, but I know he’s right. I’m beyond exhausted, and I know I can’t care for him if I’m not able to function, but that doesn’t stop the little part of my brain that feels obligated to be the only one to care for him. What if he needs me and I’m not here?
Kha’zeth jerks his chin gently toward the door.
“Go on, get some sleep. I’ll be there shortly.”
The fight drains out of me, and I nod, smiling softly. I lean forward, brushing a kiss against his lips.
“I love you,” he whispers.
“I love you too,” I whisper back. Easing out of the room, I shut the door as slowly and softly as possible, not wanting to disturb Alvech any further. I hardly take three steps back toward our room before my stomach growls, loudly enough that I cringe and press my hands against it as though to muffle the noise.
Even with my body so attuned to Alvech’s schedule, my own schedule has still found ways to coexist with his– a schedule like eating as soon as my feet hit the floor. With a sigh, I alter my course, padding barefoot down toward the kitchen.
Just a small snack, I tell myself as the dim glow of the kitchen lights grow closer. Admittedly, a small snack by my standards these days is the size of a normal meal– if I thought I was hungry while I was pregnant, then the type of hunger I’ve experienced while breastfeeding is closer to genuine starvation.
Already, thoughts of warmed bread and sharp, golden taura cheese dance through my mind, saliva pooling in my mouth. Once my belly’s full, I’ll take advantage of Kha’zeth’s offer and sleep, I promise myself quietly.
I cross the threshold into the kitchen, languid heat from the ovens swirling around me, and come face to face with the girls.
“Valindra? Tanulia? Elincia? What are the three of you doing in here?”
137
KHA’ZETH
Alvech snores against my chest, his tiny, scrunched-up face pressed against my bare skin. I can feel drool rolling down my sternum, but it doesn’t bother me, not as it once would’ve– in truth, I’m just happy he’s sleeping.
Now, the trick is to get him into his crib without waking him.
I shift my feet beneath me as quietly as I can, clenching my abs as I try and lift myself from the chair without shifting my upper body at all, so as not to disturb him. I manage it with relative ease, thank the gods, and carefully begin walking toward the crib.
Alvech jerks suddenly in my arms, and I freeze, terrified that I’ve woken him. Natlie’s warning about a reflex babes have that causes them to startle floats through my mind, but I still regardless, just in case he truly is awake. After a few seconds of silence, I continue toward the crib, mentally chiding myself.
Terrified of a babe, I scoff at myself. How things have changed.
Painfully slowly, I shift Alvech away from my body, lowering him into his crib with painstaking care. As I shift my hands from beneath his little body, he stirs again, and I find myself holding my breath as I watch him.