Page 177 of Mated to Monsters
After a heartbeat, he sighs. “I’m waiting. What really happened that night?” He watches me, his eyes never leaving mine.
“The beast woke up in a haze. I didn’t wait to give him the chance to come to his senses and sent him off. That is all. I got lucky and saw a zonak that was passing by,” I say, leaning against the table, taking a second to remember everything in order. Such an ordeal of a night.
Sifting through the hazy memory requires energy I’m hesitant to waste. “I asked for assistance and they managed to take you up to your room so you could properly rest. It was a really brutal fight.” I finish speaking, finally breaking away from his gaze. I feel my heart quicken just a bit as my eyes flicker down to his lips.
Volikan’s expression changes, his eyebrow quirking up. “I can’t tell if you’re incredibly idiotic, oblivious or if you really are completely fearless.” His tone seems to be dripping with an odd form of enthusiasm as he spears the steak.
My eyes continue to trail around his body, finding myself unable to keep at just watching him eat. Instead, my gaze drifts lower, looking at his scarred skin. It ignites a tiny fire within me. This person has seen his fair share of battles yet here he sits in front of me, eating a steak.
It makes my head spin quite a bit. So many changes in such a small amount of time. I can’t come up with a reason but I trust the Mother. She knows best and she will always mean well.
He perks up after a couple of bites. “I guess you aren’t a completely worthless human. This food is actually acceptable.” He gives a grunt and I have to stop the edges of my lips from pulling up.
I refuse to smile in front of this creature.
“I learned how to cook when I was younger. Though I wasn’t able to cook for a long time. It’s almost comforting.” I find the words slipping out of my mouth. I look away from Volkan’s face. Heat begins to pool under my cheeks.
Volkan just looks at me, eyebrows furrowing again. “We’ll you weren't exactly in a position to be doing very much,” he almost scoffs as he takes another bite. He stabs through a vegetable, shoving it down with some meat. His statement makes me uneasy.
I do not wish to think about the past. I have only the future to pay attention to. The Mother has given me this opportunity. She’s given me the blessing to continue living and I will make the most of it. I refuse to be stuck in such dark times when the Mother has put forth a light ahead of me.
I give him a side glance. “You’re not wrong” I quip, letting the negative feelings slowly bubble away.
With a shake of my head, I come to the conclusion that I will just pray to the Mother once I am away from this inhuman creature.
If he’s such a vile creature why has his body entranced me this much? Why am I looking at his body?
I can’t help the words bouncing around in my skull, ricocheting and breaking apart into tiny pebbles of thoughts. The scars. It’s the scars that have taken my attention.
His form has so much definition, his muscles bulging under his skin. I can’t deny the small urge to touch him. I want to feel how strong he is, I want to run my fingers over those scars. His personal history is written in damaged tissue. A living history.
I can feel that tiny spark of flames begin to grow just a little more. It rouses something dangerous in me. Something I can’t quite name. Something that I start to bury the second I feel it. I’m not proud of it and I know that any of these thoughts will certainly lead me into trouble. This creature is inhuman, end of story. He’s hurt so many others so why is it so difficult for my heart to get the message. Why is it pumping faster than normal?,
Why is the compulsion to touch and know more so hard to resist?
“Why do you keep staring at me?” Volkan’s voice fully shocks me out of my spiral. I almost flinch back but refuse to let my body do it. I will not show fear or cowardice when I know the Mother will protect me from everything I can’t handle.
“Your scars. Why do you have so many?” I ask, my voice lower than before, as if I don’t want to set him off. I see his body tense up just slightly, putting down his utensil. “They’re all over your body.” I state the obvious after he doesn’t answer, trying to prompt him to continue the conversation.
Volkan stands and I do the same, feeling uncomfort flow through my veins like an icy river, freezing me in place. Volkan’s expression and demeanor completely changes. He starts forward and the ice inside my body shatters as I take steps backwards until my back hits the wall.
My heart begins to hammer in my chest as he stops right in front of me. His frame towers over mine but I square my shoulders. I want to look bigger than I am. I am not weaker than this demon. My body tenses as I hear him growl.
He leans forward so his lips are right beside my ear and I can feel the puffs of air as he exhales. “Do they scare you?” He growls again this time, his body stiff as if expecting a blow.
I take a second but shake my head. “No.” I don’t get the chance to explain myself because at this closeness I can see his muscles slightly relax. I feel confusion flood my system as he steps away.
“I was constantly in battles. It’s like pure adrenaline every time I’m fighting. These scars are trophies.” He smiles, showing his fang-like teeth. He sits back in his chair, his hand running over one of the deeper scars painted on his chest. “One of my favorites.” He smirks only for a second before it drops.
His eyes are distant as he opens his mouth to take another bite of food. He chews slowly before turning his attention back to me. “I tore down foe after foe. They never even stood a chance. I still remember the blood, the screams.” Volkan’s expression warps into a vicious smile.
His gaze is still distant and it buries a sense of unease in me. “My favorite weapon is a double bladed one. I had it specially made for the sake of battle. The edge on one side is smooth, while the bottom contains jagged pieces of rusted metal. I once stabbed two creatures through the head at the same time. It was odd seeing such an injury but I didn’t care because of the blood lust. I never do, which is why fighting comes so easy.” He pats his chest.
“I remember the battles, seeing the currents of water nearby turn red with so many disposed of.” He is clearly still nostalgic about those battles. He misses them fiercely.
I watch as he continues to reminisce in a proud tone. It’s taboo to hear it. Speaking about the past it’s only inviting more violence and heartache to reoccur. I know that stopping him now will only stop the progress we’ve made so I let him continue, wanting to know more about him.
Volkan takes bites between his memory lane trip, favoring the steak while I half-heartedly listen. “I’ve been stabbed more times than you could count. I'm used to the pain, it does not phase me anymore than if you were to nick your finger on a piece of metal.” He smiles at me.