Page 52 of Soup Sandwich
“What’s your gut telling you to do?”
I give Stella a good, long, hard look as I think. “It’s telling me to do it. It’s telling me that I’m in a unique position where I can help her, and I can help him. Like fate brought me into his life at the right moment so I could do this for them.”
“And your heart?”
I turn back to Amelia. “It’s telling me to be cautious and guard it like it’s the Hope Diamond. I could get attached to him, and I could get attached to her, and neither is in my best interest right now. He and I are worlds apart.”
“True,” Octavia agrees. “You have a lot of other things you’re focusing on, and Callan is in a different position in life than you are. Especially if he comes with a child.”
“Right.” I nod in agreement.
“How would you feel if you said no for those reasons?” she presses.
I glance down at my hands in my lap and speak a truth that makes chills race up my spine. “I’d never forgive myself.”
In my heart, I know that’s the truth. I think I was always going to say yes. I just needed to work it out with people I trust.
“Then you’ve made the right decision,” Octavia declares, sitting up and placing her hand gently over mine. “Now you have to come up with a plan that will give you some power in this situation and safeguard the parts of yourself you need to protect.”
16
Armed with my brilliantly crafted plan that I’ve aptly named Operation Heart Block, I find myself knocking on Callan’s door a little drunk and a lot determined at close to nine at night. Stella made me food—love her—and yes, I might have had another drink, but I needed the liquid courage otherwise I wasn’t sure I would be able to pull this off.
The door swings open and a rumpled Callan is there wearing a fitted white T-shirt that shows off his chest, abs, and arms, and low-slung gray sweatpants. My panties are instantly wet at the sight of him. Becausedammmnhe’s fine.
That’s why this plan is so essential, I remind myself.
“Hey,” he says, his eyes wide in a way that speaks to the fact that he clearly wasn’t expecting me.
“I’m in but we can’t have sex,” I blurt out, but it comes out almost as a shout, loud and resonating, and someone walking down the street glances in our direction.
“Uh.” Callan scratches the back of his head as he glances over his shoulder in the direction of the stairs and then turns back to me with a playful smile that isn’t helping my wet vagina situation. “Katy is asleep and that’s been a bit of a challenge for her, so if you feel you’re capable of declaring your moratorium on my penis quietly, you can come in.”
Riiiight. Katy. The whole reason I’m here.Doink. I mentally smack my forehead.
“I can try. Do you have a basement or something?”
He chuckles. “I do, but I don’t go down there without backup. This place was built in the eighteen-hundreds and though it’s been renovated several times over the centuries, I can tell you, the basement hasn’t been.”
I shudder and make a mental note never to venture into his basement. “I’ll be quiet. But do you think you can change?” I ask as I step inside, and he closes and locks the door behind me.
He spins around, his eyes cast down to his body as he does. “I’m dressed. What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?”
“You may be dressed, but you’re wearingthat.” I swirl my finger around, indicating his chest, and then down to the noticeable bulge in his sweats. Why do gray sweatpants always show the bulge? “My next rule is you can’t wear bulge-revealing clothing when we do this.”
His dark blue eyes pop up to mine, his eyebrows at his hairline. “Bulge-revealing clothing?” He’s visibly laughing at me now. “How much alcohol have you had tonight?”
I do a spin around his foyer. It’s pretty. I’m not sure I ever noticed before, but it is. Black-and-white marble floors and pretty white moldings and a cool modern-ish chandelier. “Ohhhh, a lot. More than usual for me actually, but Stella made me eat a big bowl of creamy delicious pasta to absorb it since I didn’t get to eat all the yummy, yummy sushi.”
I narrow my eyes at his bulge.
“Do you think maybe we should have sex one last night? You know, to get it out of our system?”
“It’s definitely a thought, but maybe one we should readdress when you’re sober. Can I get you a water?” He grasps my arm and walks me into his house a bit more. The stairs where I stripped for him the first night we met are right in front of me. I already know with absolute certainty, I won’t be doing laundry here. I’ll have to do that at Amelia’s or I’ll orgasm every time I walk into his laundry room.
“Water would be the right call there, Doctor. Hydration is key. I’m going to hide in your office until you return,” I whisper.
“Do you know where my office is?” he counters.