Page 106 of Protect Me
I draw out every moment of pleasure, devouring her the same way she’s consumed me. And when she stills, falling silent once more, I climb up her body and pull her against me as I silently hope this whole thing won’t blow up in our faces.
Chapter27
Sway
The roar of the crowd seems extra loud tonight as I finish my performance, which signals the end of the show. My heart thumps like it always does at the wild applause, my lips tipping upward in a triumphant smile at the way they push to their feet, clapping, cheering, and screaming for an encore. Instead of giving it to them, I swing upward into the rafters and disappear from their view, chest heaving with breath after the exertion of soaring one last time beneath the Big Top. My magic, ever-present now, whispers to me about the adoration from the crowd. They’re inspired by me, exhilarated by the way I move through the air on nothing but a metal ring and a flimsy stretch of fabric. I ignore the awareness just as I’ve been ignoring all of the other things my power has inadvertently shown me. I don’t need to know any of it.
As of this moment, I’m finished here.
The thought sobers me, stealing my joy and my usual post-performance rush. The weight of leaving this place threatens to crush me, and my knees buckle as a sob rushes up from where I’ve managed to keep it locked tight all these weeks.
Not now, I tell myself, darting glances at the other performers busy with clean-up. The curtain has fallen below me, but I’m not yet alone. Keeping my head down, I hurry to secure the rigging lines, silks, and lyra in their proper places.
No one bothers me.
I’ve kept the crew at arm’s length for three months, which means no one else either notices or cares that I’m officially done here. It’s better that way. Though, realizing it now only makes the lump in my throat bigger.
It’s too late to do it differently. Besides, it’s better this way. A clean break. It’s what I’ll have to do anywhere I go next.
As I finish up, I catch sight of Duncan standing guard at one of the exits. He scans the crowd and then glances up at me. My heart pounds, my magic surging, and I look away before his gaze can hold mine.
A clean break, I repeat to myself.
But my heart threatens to cave in at the thought of leaving him and the others tomorrow. Before I know it, hot tears sting the corners of my eyes.
Not so clean after all.
I knew better, and I gave myself to them anyway. Worse, I went and fell in love with them. A mistake that will undoubtedly cost me my heart. Because after knowing those three men? There’s no way I could ever feel what I do now for another. Even my power grieves the thought of leaving them. It’s attached to them in a way I still can’t make sense of. Like it has feelings of its own.
When I’m finished up, I look around and realize the performance tent is already nearly empty. Even Duncan is gone from his post.Weird.
I stride toward the exit, fully expecting Killian or Bracken to appear. They’ve made it almost normal for me to be with one of them every waking moment—and every sleeping moment too, come to think of it. But no one appears, and I make it to the hallway alone.
My skin prickles at that.
It’s a bit unsettling to see the tent so empty right after a show.
Just then, Brad pokes his head out of one of the dressing rooms. He grins when he sees me. “Hey, amazing job tonight, babe. That standing ovation was all you.”
“Thanks,” I say. “Have you seen Duncan?”
“Yeah, he said to tell you to meet him at his place.”
“Oh.” For some reason, disappointment slams into me as I realize they’ve decided not to escort me everywhere anymore. “Okay, thanks,” I mumble.
“Give me a second, and I’ll walk you up,” he says.
“No, that’s okay.”
“It’s no trouble. I just need to get these tights off—”
“I’m fine on my own,” I assure him.
“Okay.” He frowns. “Well, see you.”
He disappears back into the dressing room, and I continue down the hall, my mood plummeting. If they’ve given up their constant protection, it can only mean they’re done with me. They know I’m leaving tomorrow—or at least suspect it since I never gave them an answer to their question on the rooftop about staying—and this is their way of letting me go.
Now, the tears don’t just threaten; they spill in tracks down my heavily made-up cheeks.