Page 82 of Something Unexpected

“I try.”

Beck drew a puff on his cigar, and my eyes lasered in on the way his lips wrapped around the end. I forced myself to look away before he could notice.

“So is that why you’re leaving New York?” he asked. “Because it costs a small fortune to rent a three-hundred-square-foot place?”

“No. Actually the tiny space doesn’t bother me. I just want to be closer to my dad.”

“You said you’re leaving when your lease is up? When is that?”

“The end of the summer.”

We enjoyed a few minutes of quiet. It was rare that I felt comfortable in silence. It was nice.

“So what did you want to talk to me about?” I asked eventually.

“Hmmm?”

“When you asked me to stay, you said you wanted to discuss something with me.”

“Oh.” He looked down at my near-empty whiskey glass. “You want another one?”

“Uh-oh. You’re trying to get me liquored up before you start a conversation. That doesn’t sound good.”

“Not trying to get you liquored up. Just trying to be a good host.”

I was skeptical, but curious. “What’s on your mind?” I tilted my head back and took a big, long drag on the cigar, blowing out smoke rings again.

“I was hoping for a better lead-in to this discussion. But since it doesn’t look like I’m getting one, I’ll just toss it out there.”

Now I was intrigued. “Okay…”

“I really need to fuck you again.”

I was forming my fourth smoke ring and sucked in instead of blowing out. I immediately started to choke. Cigar smoke wasnotmeant to be inhaled.

Beck leaned over and put his hand on my back. “Are you okay? You want some water?”

I shook my head. After a minute, my throat still burned, and my eyes were filled with tears, but I was able to squeak out a few words. “Why would you say that?”

He looked confused. “Because it’s true?”

I shook my head. “First of all, there’s a nicer way to ask a girl to sleep with you, and second of all, how about a little notice when you’re going to say something like that?”

“I told you I was hoping for a better lead-in. You forced me to tell you.”

“Oh, so now it’s my fault that you’re a pig and say inappropriate things?”

Beck’s eyes zeroed in on my mouth, and he leaned closer. “Fuck. Yeah, let’s argue.”

I nudged him to sit back into his chair, putting a little space between us. “We’ve had this discussion. I told you, it’s not the right time for me to have a relationship.”

“It’s not for me either.”

“So you don’t want to date me, you only want to…what, fuck me?”

He shrugged. “Exactly.”

“Beck…”