Page 84 of Five Things
“I never told you, and I should have.” I flick my eyes to Willow, watching as her lips tip warily at me. “I knew the way you felt about each other, but I was so afraid of you picking him over me that I never dared say a word. You two had such a strong bond, stronger than you and me, and hell, stronger than me and him. I was his sister and your best friend, but when the two of you were together, it was like the whole world disappeared. You couldn’t see anything outside of each other. I was jealous of him and you.”
“Why? You were my best friend, Willow.”
“I know, but he was something else entirely to you,” she says, her eyes moving to find the pictures that still hang on my wall. She stands up, moving over to them. She stops in front of a picture of the two of us when we were thirteen, standing outside Disney with ears on our head and the biggest smiles on our faces.
Even with the years of distance and pain, I’ve never been able to take it down.
“When you started to date Sebastian, I was so happy because it meant I’d never lose either you or Maverick, because you weren’t going to run off into the sunset together.” She laughs, though it’s a sad sound as her fingers trace over the two young girls in the frame. “But I lost you both anyway.”
I don’t say anything, unsure what the right words are, but she flicks her eyes to me, assessing me for a moment before she continues. “Sebastian threatened you, didn’t he? And that’s why you said what you did?”
“He did, a few times actually, but I was sticking to my guns. So he threatened Maverick instead.” My eyes find another photo on the wall, the one of Maverick and me back when he played his first game in high school. My legs are around his waist, and his hands tucked under my thighs as I laugh at something he whispered in my ear. “You were right, that he was something else. I just stupidly didn’t realize it until it was too late.
“I made a choice, and I knew that saving him was far more important than saving myself. So, I condemned him, to save him. Maybe things would have been different, had I not. But I couldn’t risk it, Willow. He saved me that night, and I don’t know that I’d still be here today if he hadn’t. The least I could do was return the favor.”
“But you never told him?”
“No, and still to this day he doesn’t know. It’s the only lie I have left, and it’s one I plan to take with me wherever I go after this world. Maverick deserves to thrive and be happy, knowing the truth would only hurt him more, and I won’t do that.”
“I won’t tell him,” she says, nodding as her lips flick into a small smile. My head bobs in response, and I pull in a deep breath, looking at the girl I once knew as well as I knew myself. There are so many regrets I have in this life, but Maverick will never be one of them, and she needs to know that.
“I love him, Willow,” I say, my eyes pleading with her to hear my words. “I don’t know what my future holds, but I know he’s in it. And I hope that’s something you can accept. I walked away from him before, and nearly destroyed us both. And then I did it again because I thought I was making the right decision by setting him free. I can’t walk away from him another time.”
“It will always be her. . .” My brow furrows at her words, my lips turning down, and she sighs, though it’s soft. “Those are the words Maverick said. He’ll pick you over everything, and I think it took a minute to understand that. I’m still not sure I do, but I don’t plan to stand in your way or make him feel bad for loving you.”
“Thank you,” I say as a wave of relief washes over me. It’s not that I need his family’s approval, but they are important to him, and while I wouldn’t ask him to choose, I’m thinking I was wrong before when I said he would choose them.
He’ll always pick me, even when it brings trouble to his own doorstep. And I’m starting to realize it’s me who runs from us. I did it when I was fourteen, and met Sebastian, because it was easier. Then again when I was seventeen. Instead of standing firm, I buckled, believing my decision was the best for us both.
But I won’t run anymore.
“I hope you’ll be happy, Bea. You both deserve a lifetime of happiness,” she says, walking toward my bedroom door. “And I hope one day you can forgive me, for not giving you a chance to explain back then. I was so quick to choose sides when I should have come and talked to you first. And I am sorry that I didn’t.”
“I appreciate that,” I tell her, not knowing what more I can say.
“Your mom has my number.” She steps into the hallway, turning back to face me once more and I don’t miss the glint of hope in her eyes. “Don’t hesitate to use it if you ever just want to talk.”
Maverick
The moment I walk into my bedroom, a towel wrapped around my waist, Nash barrels in, followed by Beck, Gray, Harlow, and Maisie.
“You didn’t think to tell us she was home? We went to the hospital to find she’d already gone.” Maisie asks, whacking me upside the head as she passes by to drop down on my bed. She lies back, her eyes landing on the ceiling as she closes them.
“Make yourself at home, why don’t you,” I grumble, moving over to my drawers. I grab a pair of jeans and a white Henley, turning to face my friends. “You guys are fucking pushy, and she needs a minute. So, no, I didn’t tell you, and I’m not sorry about that.”
Nash claps me on the shoulder, a frown on his face as he nods. “Is she okay?”
They all snap their eyes to me at that question, their faces etched in worry, and my heart warms a little. It fucking sucks that any of this has happened, but there’s something to be said about finding a group of people to have your back through everything, even the dark days.
“I don’t know,” I tell them, shrugging. “It’s been a heavy couple days, but she will be. We’ll make sure of that. Just, maybe, one at a time? Y’all can’t all go barreling in on her in one go, I’m not sure how well she’ll manage with that.”
“Maybe I should be the judge of that . . .” a croaky voice calls from my doorway, and a sharp gasp falls from Maisie who pushes herself off the bed, rushing across the room. Her arms fly out, but she pauses midair, hesitant for the first time since I met the girl. Beatrice smiles at her, and it’s radiant as she whispers, “I’m not gonna break, Mais. And if you don’t hug me in a minute, I might have to find a new ride or die . . .”
Maisie chokes then, a half laugh, half sob falling from her lips as she curls her arms around my girl, pouring weeks of emotion into that one hug. They whisper to one another, their hushed words followed by misty eyes and light chuckles.
After a minute, it seems our friends become antsy as they rush over to the girls, throwing their arms around them until they’re a giant huddle of limbs and laughter. Leaving them for a beat, I slip back into the bathroom to dress.
When I’m done, I lean in the doorway, letting them have their reunion. Beatrice and me have plenty of time for ourselves, but for now our friends need this.