Page 71 of Five Things

“Bro, what are—” He cuts me off with a scathing look, and I shrink into myself. Nash doesn’t get mad, so now I know I’ve really fucked up.

“You couldn’t say a single word to her? After your sister made her feel like shit, not one word? Jesus, Maverick. I thought you two were finally figuring this shit out but then Willow comes around and you just forget to stick up for your girl?”

“She should feel like shit, after what she’s do—”

“You, shut the fuck up,” he directs at Willow, who shrinks under his scrutiny. “I will deal with you later.”

“Nash,” I start, pushing off the cushion and leaning forward until my arms drop between my spread legs.

For the last few hours, Willow and I have gone back and forth over this issue, each time her flinging back more and more anger. We haven’t reached a compromise, and I don’t know if we’re going to, but the way Nash is staring at me, I’m thinking staying here may have been a waste of my time anyway.

“What’s going on?”

“Well, after spending the morning trying to cheeryourgirl up, who, by the way, still looks beautiful after crying her fucking eyes out.” A grumble leaves my throat at his words, but he only shakes his head at me in disgust. “Don’t you dare start. We’re friends, nothing more. Anyway, after she kicked me out of her room, looking like a lost little puppy, I followed her like a good friend does. Like a good fuckingboyfriendshould have. And what a doozy I found.”

“What?” My stomach bottoms out, my hands curling into fists.

“Bea dropped out,” he says so matter-of-factly you’d think he was telling me the weather, but his eyes show his true emotions. He’s angry . . . at me. Because this is my fault somehow. “So you need to go and find her and fucking fix this, Maverick. Because if you don’t, I think you may have lost her for good this time.”

Willow follows me off the couch, grabbing my arm as I move toward the door. “Maverick, really think this through.”

“I don’t need to, Willow,” I tell her, pressing a kiss to her cheek. “I love you, and I love that you want to protect me. But I’m not risking anything when it comes to her because she iseverything. I know you don’t get it, that’s become obvious. And I’m not asking you to, all I ask is that you respect the fact that she is my choice, and it doesn’t matter what your opinion is. I’m going to choose her, every single time. Just like I should have so many years ago. She’s it for me, Willow.”

My sister stares at me wide-eyed, her mouth open, but no words come out. Nash nods at me when I flick my gaze to him. He’ll talk to Willow for me and try to work his magic on her, or at least calm her down while I go find Beatrice.

It’s time to lay all our cards on the table, and I just hope I have enough to get her to stick.

My knuckles rap against the door when I reach her dorm, giving her a minute’s notice before I push my key into the lock and twist. The door releases, pushing open as I step inside but she’s nowhere to be seen.

The space is devoid of life when I move through it, and her bedroom is empty when I push the door open. But all her stuff is still where she left it. Work booklets are piled on her desk, her charger plugged into the wall, her clothes still line the closets and fill the drawers, her shoes strewn messily at the bottom of the bed.

Where the hell are you, Bumblebee?

Nash finds me a while later, my head in my hands as I slouch at the end of her bed. The sheets are wrinkled beneath me, the note she left crumpled in my hand. Nash peels it from me, his eyes softening as he reads her words.

Maverick,

I know you’re probably frustrated right now and confused and a little angry. But promise me you won’t do anything stupid, like follow me. You need to be here, right where you are, thriving. You still have games to play this season and I expect you to win them all, even if I won’t be there to cheer you on. You deserve everything the world has to offer you, and I am so excited to see how you succeed, but I can’t be at your side when you do.

We’re not good for each other, no matter how much we wish we were. There’s so much standing in our way, so many wrong turns that lead us in opposite directions. I know I’ve said it before, but I have to say it again. I am sorry for everything. I ruined us, long before we ever had a chance to really start, and I will regret that every day for the rest of my life.

But know this, Maverick Brady, you are my favorite bad decision. I can never thank you enough for letting me live again. And if I had the chance to redo these last few months again, I wouldn’t change them, not when it means I got to experience what we can be in the next lifetime . . . but I have to let you go in this one. We’re not meant for one another, not permanently. You will always be a part of me, just as I hope I will always be a part of you. Maybe one day you’ll understand that this decision is the right one and I hope when you do, you’ll forgive me for leaving you this way.

You need to thrive, and with me you’ll only drown.

We’ll find each other again, when our paths collide in the next life. Promise me that lifetime, Maverick, and maybe then we’ll get our chance at forever, but for now, this is goodbye.

Yours forever,

Your Bumblebee x

PS Nash, since I know you’re reading this . . . look after him. I’ll be forever grateful for your friendship in the time I needed it the most, but Maverick needs you more now . . . Baby Bea x

“Fuck, man,” Nash breathes, dropping down beside me. He doesn’t tear his eyes away from the page, his hands tightening as he rereads her words over and over again.

“You were right.” He looks at me then, his brow raised. “I lost her for good.”

“You’re not going to go after her?” he asks, tilting his head to the side as he watches me curiously. I shake my head, running my fingers through my hair.