Page 37 of The Demon God's Desire

I can’t let the villagers get caught in the crossfire between myself and a vengeful goddess. I don’t want to put anyone in danger. Not even Allan or his buddies.

And as I sit on her couch and breathe in and out, trying to calm myself down, I realize that something about this isn’t right. Something isn’t adding up. I know the gods are easily angered and that they’re quite spiteful if they feel insulted.

And I know how grave an insult it is to have chosen Bridget over the goddess that has been my patron since I was a child, but I can’t help feeling that something bigger is at play here.

I’m mulling it over in my mind when I feel something nudge me. Bridget holds out a grain bowl and I realize she’s made us breakfast. I take it without a word and follow her to sit at her wooden dining table.

We’re both quiet for a while, wrapped up in our thoughts. Bridget is the first person I’ve ever had feelings for before but not the first person I’ve ever been intimate with. I’ve had my share of bedmates—sometimes I’ve even frequented pleasure houses in the cities we’ve been stationed in. As long as it’s consensual I don’t see anything wrong with seeking pleasurable company.

But the goddess has never acted so jealous or possessive of me before. Is it simply because I was with a human? Or is it because I’m no longer following her orders to raze the continent and purge it of the “Other”?

It’s got my stomach in knots as well. I’ve had a lukewarm welcome in this village but I’ve been able to make a few friends besides just Bridget and I feel like I owe these people. They’ve shown me far more kindness and hospitality than I deserved, especially after the things I used to say about humans.

I would feel terrible if the goddess were to find a way into the village and destroy them in her quest to take me down. I can’t stay here but I don’t have anywhere else to go either.

All I can do right now is focus on the food in front of me right now.

I eat the grain bowl with a vengeance, not realizing how hungry I was until I finish one bowl and Bridget gives me the rest of hers.

“Thank you,” I say, knowing my voice probably sounds gruff. I can’t help it. I’m preoccupied with the dangers that lurk all around us and I don’t have it in me to play at being nicer right now. “Help me clean up?” Bridget asks, rising and carrying one of the empty bowls to the basin. I follow behind, carrying the other bowl and we stand there together, Bridget washing while I use a cloth to dry the items and put them into her cupboards.

“Are you alright?” she asks me after we’ve been silent for a while. I shrug, unsure how to answer. We sit down together on her couch, Bridget snuggling up against me. I play with her hair while my mind continues to circle the problem.

What am I going to do about all this? There are no easy answers and I feel fatigue beginning to creep in as we sit. I’m exhausted, physically and mentally. I’m drained from the constant fighting and running and defending myself.

I can’t run forever. I know that. Eventually the goddess will find a way to get to me. She can reach me in my dreams and it’s only a matter of time before she finds some other way to relay her message.

“Can you share with me what’s on your mind?” Bridget asks, looking up at me.

“Just confused by all this,” I tell her. “Something about it doesn’t add up. I know she’s angry I’m with humans but the gods have never really interfered in daily life before,” I tell her.

“At least, not like that. They tend to give prophetic dreams and that’s about the extent of their interactions with us. I mean, the Hearthkeeper granted me my powers but that was a special case. I’m completely unique in that regard. Having her interact with me in my dreams...that was the first time we’ve ever truly come face to face.”

“Really?” she asks, tilting her head.

“Yes. Before it was like...I could sense her presence, I knew she was there but it was a comforting feeling akin to when I was a small child and my mother would stroke my hair while I fell asleep. Seeing her in person...” I breathe out and stare at my hands. “It frightened me. I think something big is going to happen unless I can find a way to stop her.”

“Therein lies the thousand ipia question,” Bridget murmurs. “How do you defeat a goddess that wants to kill you?”

I’m silent for a moment. “There is no way,” I tell her. “Only a god can defeat another god,” I say, without thinking.

“Yeah, but neither of us are gods,” Bridget says with a chuckle. “You might be the goddess’ favored warrior but gods we most certainly are not.”

I chuckle as well, about to agree when something clicks in my mind. Neither of us are gods, yes. And no one but a god can defeat another god. But what if…

“No,” I say slowly, thinking it over in my mind. “No we’re not. But what if...what if we were able to get one on our side?”

I realize that I’ve been thinking about this all wrong. What a silly, stupid thing of me to do! I sit up, taking her hands in mine and squeezing them.

“You’re brilliant!” I tell her, giving her a kiss. “Do you realize what you’ve suggested?”

20

BRIDGET

Idon’t.

At all.