Page 44 of Adored By Her Orc Avenger
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DANA
“I’m never swinging from that rope over the pond again,” I chuckle as I look at Bonnie.
“Hey, I’m proud that you tried it; I wouldn’t do it!”
“Well,” I sigh. “After what I’ve been through, I think a rope swing over a pond is a pretty mild risk.”
Bonnie’s face fades from a smile. “Yeah,” she responds as she looks at the ground. “That’s true.” She looks at me and rubs my back as we walk back to the doctor’s hut. “Did this cheer you up a bit?”
“Yeah.” I smile at her, lying through my teeth. “Thank you so much.”
We arrive at the hut, and I look at it with sorrow. The doctor has been kind enough to move huts for a while since this one is closer to the edge of the forest. He overheard me tell Bonnie that I wanted to collect herbs and told me as long as I went with a guard, I could stay here until I had the baby. I wonder if, along with sensing my pregnancy, he also felt my sadness.
“See you in the morning?” Bonnie asks kindly.
“Absolutely.”
I smile and hug her before going inside. I close the door behind me and look at my new home. Bonnie has been so sweet, taking me to the marketplace and getting decorations to make me happy. There are candles everywhere, a fireplace on the wall that I haven’t lit yet because it’ll remind me of Hurian, and tapestries lining the walls.
I walk to my bed and sit on it, looking at the fireplace sadly. It’s been a routine I’ve fallen into the last week since I last saw Hurian: Wake up, meet Bonnie outside, let her try to distract me, burn all my energy, then come home and look at this damned fireplace. It’s almost like if I look at it long enough, it’ll take me back to the abandoned house with Hurian, and I can warn myself of the pain that’s about to come my way.
In the pain, though, there is the greatest blessing I’ve ever been given. This is never how I thought I would get pregnant, but it was meant to be. I’ve thought repeatedly in the past week that maybe this is the only reason Hurian came into my life, to give me this baby.
Given that he hasn’t tried speaking to me in a week, I’m assuming I’m right. I know he’s aware I’m staying here; I’m sure Bonnie or Ur have told him. When I go to sleep at night, sometimes I hear leaves rustle outside or footsteps and wonder if it’s him. As the nights went on, my hope faded.
Although we’re in the same clan, it’s big enough that I might never see him again. Some of me would be satisfied with that, and another hopes it’s not true. I hate that I still have feelings for him after all he put me through, but I can’t help it. He stirred something in me that I can never forget.
From my side, it was the most incredible connection I’ve ever felt, and it was a bond that I thought was unbreakable. It shows that you can never fully know someone, even when your heart tricks you into thinking you can.
I kick off my shoes and stand up, walking to the cute dresser Flora gave me and changing into my night clothes. She’s treated me to comfortable stretchy clothing that I can wear even as my belly grows during my pregnancy. I put them on and lie on the bed, not putting the covers over me yet; I still want to look at the fireplace and remember him when he was mine.
What do I really want?I think as I count the bricks in the fireplace again. Every night I come up with a new number somehow.I hate him, but I can’t stop thinking about the good times. I want him back, but only the way he was, not for who he became toward the end.I sigh, knowing such a notion is crazy and impossible. He even told me himself that was who he had always been.
I’m frustrated with myself and would love a concrete answer or feelings that make sense. Either I want him out of my life or in it as he is, even with his coldness and insanity, but I can’t stay in this limbo. While I wish I could, I know I can’t change anyone.
I look away from the fireplace, trying to push his memory out of my mind. I reach for the blankets and begin to pull them over me when I hear a knock on the door. I look at it confusedly, wondering if I heard something outside in the forest.
The knock happens again, and once I’m sure I’m not hearing things, I stand up and walk to it. I look around, wondering if Bonnie forgot anything when she picked me up earlier. I don’t see anything and start wondering why she’s here at such a late hour.
I open the door and see Hurian standing on my doorstep. I quickly try to wipe off the shock on my face; I don’t want him to think I’m anything but firm about not wanting him in my life. I remain silent and look at him, wondering why he’s here and why now? It’s almost midnight; he should be sleeping or walking off somewhere or whatever he does these days.
The expression on his face is an odd mixture of sadness and hope. His eyes are lighting up like fireworks, but his mouth remains in a frown. I’m confused; I’ve only seen one of the two on his face, but never both together. I put my hand on my hip and sigh as I maintain eye contact with him, pursing my lips as I wait for him to speak.
He looks around the inside of the hut and clears his throat. “Can uh…can we talk?”
I should say no. I should tell him to fuck off and never come back. I’ve been getting better recently; it doesn’t hurt as much as it did when we were in the woods. He’ll just leave again.The thoughts rapidly fire in my mind as I look at him, debating what to say.
I can’t deny it; he weakens me. I’ll always have a soft spot for the man that saved me countless times while we were lost in the woods. That, and he’s the father of my child.
I click my tongue on my teeth and open the door without saying anything. He walks in and looks at me solemnly. I close it behind me, my heart racing. I can’t believe he’s here andwantsto speak about something.
I turn around from closing the door, and Hurian wraps me in his arms quickly. My muscles stiffen as his scent hits me, and his warm chest presses against my face. He holds my head to his chest like he used to, and I remain unsure what to do.
If I embrace him back, I’m opening myself to more pain. He might think I don’t want him if I stay like this. I remain still and conflicted as I listen to him sigh.
“Dana, I’m so sorry. I was an idiot, and I treated you terribly. You gave me so many chances to speak to you, and I shut you out every time. I want to make it up to you and the baby and be here for them.”