Page 5 of Triplets for the Dark Elf

MIOTHRO

It’s been a few weeks since my father found Imris’s letters. That very same day, I went to the farm to find Imris there. As it turns out, he knew about his family for nearly a month at that point and he was very upset with me for the year and a half I cost him.

Despite Imris’s anger, it was almost a relief when he found out about Charmaine. I understand why he was upset with me, but I hope he can see that I was trying to protect him. I know that Father talked to him. Imris mentioned as much to me when he came to buy the farm from me. But I don’t know what was said between the two.

All I know is that all his fury has seemingly dissipated. I’m now hosting a lunch for us to get to know the happy couple and their twins – as family this time. Maybe I shouldn't have agreed when my father suggested it, but I thought of it as a penance for my decisions.

Honestly, the thought of going makes me want to hurl. It’s becoming harder and harder to be happy for my brother, not that it’s his fault.

I’ve let my guard slip more and more with Annalise over the past weeks. Something about telling my secret about Charmaine to my father lightened me, and I’ve found it too hard to keep my other secret – my feelings for my shop girl – under wraps.

The teasing words I normally bite back have been flowing freely, and to my surprise, Annalise meets my jest with just as much fire. I always knew there was more to her than the nice, timid shell she hides behind. And these glimpses have made it so much worse for me.

I want to find that girl she truly is. I want all of her, no secrets, no fear.

But I don’t know if it’s something that I’m ready for.

My attachment and attraction for her have continued to grow nonetheless – as if it wasn’t at an already unbearable level. And it would almost be better if Annalise would stop my advances or shy away from them.

She hasn’t, though. She flirts back with me, and it has tricked my traitorous heart into believing that I should let my guard down.

What a stupid mistake that would be.

Or would it?

This internal debate has been plaguing me as of late. I’m nearly at my wit’s end as I try to decide what to do, and as I haven’t, I am in a weird limbo with Annalise. I hate to do this to either of us, but every time I try to walk away, I can’t seem to make myself.

I don’t want to put her in harm’s way, but I don’t want to keep her at arm’s length. I don’t want anyone to see her as my weakness, but I don’t want to hide her.

What a situation I’ve created for myself.

I sigh as I finish the drink in my hand and stalk toward my office door. I need to get going or I’m going to be late. I just hope that I can make it through this family event, and I know I can’t do that sober.

Luckily, I have a flask in my pocket and plenty of bottles at home. Hopefully that will be enough to keep me from overthinking my decisions as I watch my brother with his new family.

Gods, I want to be happy for him. I really do. But it’s hard to watch him have everything I want when I paid a price he never had to pay.

* * *

I’m a good host,of that I make sure. I meet the twins and formally apologize to Charmaine and Imris. I offer my father my guest room for the night and politely make sure everyone has enough to eat and drink. I smile and laugh and play the part that I should as the happy brother.

And then Imris asks Charmaine to be his mate.

Thatis something none of us seemed to be expecting, and it is a struggle to keep my smile from falling off my face as she cries and they kiss.

For a moment, it feels like the world stops. Time doesn’t move, and I can’t even suck in a breath as I look at my brother’s happy face.

And, for the briefest second, a memory flashes behind my eyes – the last time I looked that happy. The human who looked at me like that. Inilie.

But soon, I see the tears. Not hers, but mine. She never got to cry in happiness as I made her my mate. Instead, I stood over an unmarked grave and sobbed, drunk and heartbroken, until I was only an empty husk left alone on my knees.

Then, a hand claps on my shoulder and I’m jolted forward sixteen years to the present. “Are you okay?”

It’s my father’s voice in my ear, and I realize just how still and tense I’ve gone. I try to break out of it, to shove it down, but it’s not helping this time. I can’t ignore the pain rippling through me.

“Yes.” My voice is strangled.

I tell myself I’ve moved on past Inilie’s death, and I think I have. I do miss her. I did love her. But it does not kill me every day not to have her.