Page 11 of Triplets for the Dark Elf
That’s the furthest thing from what I want. But I don’t want to risk what we have if I’m wrong and she’s the one who doesn’t want to be seen with me.
It’s so conflicting and frustrating and all I want to do is talk to my father about this, to work it out in my head with someone who understands but I can’t bring myself to say anything either.
I know Father has no issue with dark elf-human relationships but it’s still a lot to ask him to accept not one but two of his children as being with them.
But maybe I’m overthinking it. I don’t realize I’m so out of sorts until I look down and realize I’ve accidentally crumpled up the lovely invitation by squeezing too hard as my mind went in circles.
Dash it all! I’ll just tell her I have to go to the mating ceremony and see what she says. It can’t hurt to bring it up and gauge her reaction, right?
I stuff the letter into my jacket pocket and start heading towards the stairs, to go up to my office on the second floor.
“I’ll be back down for lunch,” I call to Annalise, who waves just as a customer walks in the door.
Though I try to do my work, my brain keeps wanting to circle back to my anxieties about my situation with Annalise. I know my fear of losing her is what’s holding me back. Any idiot can see that. But they don’t know, they don’tunderstandthe pain and torment I went through over everything. They don’t understand what it was like to suffer like that.
So yes, I’m cautious but for a good reason. I end up standing and staring out the window, looking across town at the waterfront. The water ripples in the midday sun as ships slowly traverse the wide river, bringing goods to the town and taking exports to other locations.
Tide goes in, tide goes out, as my father used to say. Things come and go in our lives. He knows better than anyone—after our mother died in childbirth with Imris—how fickle the gods can be. Fortunes rise and fall. People come and go in our lives. We have to hold onto what we’ve got, right?
I descend the stairs and head for Annalise, who’s just finishing up with a customer. “Lunchtime,” I tell her, holding up a pail with food from the chef inside.
We sit at the counter after she flips the closed sign and unwrap the carefully wrapped parcels. There’s taura meat sandwiches and some cold burgona salad, enough to share, along with icy tea.
“So...uh...” I try to carefully bring up the topic while trying to sound casual about it. I don’t want her to feel pressured to go. “I got an invitation for my brother’s mating ceremony,” I tell her. “I have to go to it. It’s at the end of next week.”
“I can watch the shop for you!” Annalise offers with a grin and a reassuring pat to my arm. “It will be no problem at all.”
“Oh. Okay,” I say, hiding my disappointment. It’s clear that she doesn’t want to go. I was foolish for thinking she would want to be seen with me like that. “Thank you so much.”
“No problem,” she says, grinning. “You can tell me all about how pretty Charmaine looks in her dress when you get back,” she adds.
“Will do,” I say, taking a bite of my sandwich. It feels dry and tasteless going down and I force myself to keep eating. Why would she even want to go to the mating ceremony of two people she doesn’t knowthatwell anyway?
I finish and give her a quick kiss on the head, telling her I have to go back up and do a little work upstairs. There’s no point in moping around. I’ll just distract myself with work right now and hopefully I’ll be able to get over this little momentary hurt.
It works. I’ve managed to stop dwelling on it and put it in the back of my mind.
In fact, by the time I’m getting ready to go to the ceremony on the day of, I’ve all but forgotten about not going with her.
It doesn’t hit me until I’m ready to leave and I see her straightening up the shelves, dressed in her normal work clothes.
Right. She’s not coming. My heart seems to sink into my chest. I wish she was coming. I should have said something. But all I can do for now is accept that I’ll see her when I get back.
As I head out, I give her one last kiss. I know I’ll be seeing her again soon but I can’t stop wishing I was bringing her with me.
When I arrive, I head straight to Imris’ cottage to see him. He’s nervous but looks happy to see me.
When he forgives me, it’s like a load has lightened in my heart. I know I messed up with them and I feared he would hate me forever, so it’s nice to know that he wants to put it all behind us.
He’s wearing his nicest farm clothing, much less dressed than I would be if it were me and Annalise getting mated. I would be wearing my finest suit.
The thought startles me. I can’t get it out of my head. All throughout the ceremony, my eyes keep flicking over everything, imagining what it would be like if it were me and Annalise up here instead of my brother and Charmaine.
But it really hits me when the priest announces them mated and all I can see is her. Gods. I’m so stupid.
I’m in love with Annalise.
I’m deeply, completely, head-over-heels in love with the beautiful, strong, sassy human. I’m tired of the distance between us. The carefully pretending like we aren’t together.