Page 76 of Savage Roses
“And you’ll be there to raise them with me.”
I grab both her wrists and pin them on either side of her head at the same moment I swoop in for quick kisses—kisses designed to serve as adistraction.
It works like a charm.
For the next hour, we lounge in bed and watch the flames in the fireplace. We drink the wine and talk. I give Delphine more hell about our hypothetical married life. Frustrating her really is a fun pastime. One I’m saying goodbye to, but intend to enjoy in these last moments.
“Why did I agree to marry you again?”
“Too late. No take backs. We’ve been over this.”
She snorts. “Talk your shit now, Jon. I’m going to have you in Christmas sweaters and we’re taking couple photos and we’re going apple picking.”
“The fuck we are.”
“Ibetyou would. For me.” She snuggles closer with a pouty mouth and shiny eyes that I can’t resist and I know it.
She’s well aware of the truth—most times, I can’t say no to her.
Besides, I enjoy the couple stuff. Even if I’ve never admitted it aloud. As with everything, it’s different with Delphine. Enjoyable with her.
I let her imagination run wild. Mine does too.
We spend the time lying in the warmth of the fire, our wrinkled bed sheets strewn across our hips, and we map out a whole hypothetical future we’ll have together. Complete with a home sweet home, three kids (we agree it’s a good number), and summer vacations to tranquil places like Montbec Island.
My heart swells with an unnamed emotion listening to the hope in Delphine’s voice.
Then the drowsiness as the sedative I slipped into her glass of wine kicks in. Sneaky and underhanded. Not at all something I wanted to do, but necessary given what Ihaveto do.
“You comfy?” I ask, stroking her curls.
She murmurs unintelligibly, so sleepy she’s beyond words. Her soft, pliable curves have contorted into my hard, solid body, and my dutiful arm keeps her there. I watch, wide awake, as she drifts off into a peaceful sleep.
This is how I’ll remember her… for the foreseeable future.
Her face calm, her expression vacant. Her eyelashes kiss her cheeks and her heart-shaped lips hold no tension, no feeling. She’s too deep into her dreams for anything else.
It takes everything I have to get up out of the bed. Untangle myself from her body and get dressed in the dark silence. Make my feet move and walk toward the door.
I pause the closer I get and take another long, selfish look at her tangled in the sheets that smell of us and our lovemaking. She has no clue that she’ll wake up to me gone tomorrow; she’ll be so confused…
I inhale a struggling breath and turn my back. Walking away from Delphine, possibly for good this time, is like ripping my fucking heart out of my chest, and leaving a gaping hole in its place.
The most difficult thing I’ve ever had to do in my life.
Say goodbye to my wife.
delphine
Ican’t rememberthe last time I slept in so late, the afternoon sun burned through my closed eyelids. But as I lay heavy as lead in bed, the sunlight pierces my closed lids to the point I can’t keep facing the window any longer. I roll over and squint, opening my eyes in hopes I’ll gradually adjust to the brightness.
My head spins.
I feel like I’m hungover. Salvatore and I had a few glasses of wine, but this… this isn’t that.
This feels markedly different.
This feels like… like… I got drunk off my ass. Completely faded, blackout drunk—or worse, not drunk at all.