Page 9 of Empire of Lust
“What’s with the long face?”
The question drags my attention from the troubled thoughts I can’t help but entertain. It’s not my unseen and probably nonexistent stalker trying to chat me up, but instead, the bartender. He’s cute in a typical way, with deep-set dark eyes and a winning smile that brings the dimples out in his cheeks.
“My best friend’s going to the south of France for a month, and I don’t know what I’m going to do without her.” I lift a shoulder when he winces. “Yes, I know life could be worse but…”
“It’s a bummer, yeah,” he observes while stacking glasses in an impressive arrangement.
“Yeah, it is. I’m going to have all this free time and nothing to do with it.”
Lucas, like always, is busy and couldn’t join us tonight. That won’t change with Tatum’s absence. It often feels like I live alone, but the dirty laundry he leaves lying around the bedroom is an ever-present reminder of his existence.
The bartender props his elbows up on the bar, his brows lifting. My gaze is drawn to his biceps, which his T-shirt’s tight, short sleeves show off to perfection. “If you’re bored, they’re always looking for help around the club.”
“Oh, really?” I retort.
“Yes, I could use a hand back here.” His grin shifts into flirting territory, and he winks at me. “You’d be a perfect fit.”
I can’t help the warm flush that spreads through my stomach, even if I’m not single and shouldn’t encourage flirting with some random guy I’ve never met. I don’t know why his arms draw my attention like they do, either.Actually, I do.I wonder if that’s why I spied on Callum a few nights ago, because I’m feeling neglected and lonely?
“I’d have to check with my boyfriend,” I murmur, and his slight nod tells me the message was received before he moves on to attend to a new customer taking a seat a few stools down.
Tatum would threaten to smack me upside the head if she were here and had witnessed me turning down a cute guy. She doesn’t know what it’s like to be with somebody for so long. To invest so much time and energy into a relationship. I don’t want to think that time was all for nothing. Besides, relationships take patience. They have their highs and lows. They take work and effort from both parties.
Who am I trying to convince?
A deep sense of dissatisfaction washes over me, and I toss back the rest of the wine. I hope this isn’t what life’s going to look like in the future. Me convincing myself I’m safe and secure and should settle for what I know rather than…What?Leaving Lucas. Or quitting my job before I’ve started it. There are no alternatives.
I’ve never been the girl that takes chances. I want to be. I wish I could be. But it’s not in my nature, I guess. Plus, I’ve had a lifetime of being reminded how uncertain the world is. How things can change on a dime, and how important it is to be prepared for whatever’s coming.Thanks, Dad.
It isn’t irritation with him that begins simmering low in my belly—he’s only ever done his best, especially after Mom died. No, it’s an irritation with me.What am I really afraid of?It’s not until my jaw aches that I realize I’m clenching it. My heart speeds up at the memory of what I did the other night.
I took a chance then—with Callum. It was thrilling. Intoxicating. For once, I gave into the unsafe bet, rather than fighting what I wanted. Sure, I feel embarrassed now, but mostly because I know it was against the rules.
Not because I didn’t like it.
It was the sort of thrill I could become addicted to. Taking what I want no matter anyone else’s opinions.
Maybe I’ve had too much wine.
Sober Bianca would not be thinking about these things.
I check my phone again to see if Tatum replied. No such luck. Sighing, I look up from my phone, and that’s when I spot her standing in the center of the dance floor.
Like always, she looks fantastic in a short black dress with a halter neckline that leaves nothing to the imagination. It shows off her curvy body to perfection, and there’s nothing a man likes better than a pretty body on display. I wish I had that type of courage to wear something sexy, to show myself off.
Always a good girl.
But not always, right? Not when a certain sexy billionaire is involved.
“Hey!” I call out, waving an arm above my head until she spots me. My smile slips when she fails to return one. I figure she’ll head straight for me, but she scurries across the floor, ducking down a narrow hallway that leads to the restrooms.Fuck.That Kristoff is nowhere to be found gives me a vague idea of what’s going on.What an idiot.
I rush after her to the bathroom. I’m barely through the swinging door before she’s defending herself and trying to laugh off the devastation that’s bleeding through her features.
“Too short. My dress is too short. Did you know that?” She tosses her blonde curls over her shoulder, blowing out a tremendous sigh.
Hello to you, too.“Is that what you were fighting about?”
“We weren’t…” she mutters, her voice softer, her resolve crumbling. “Actually, yes, that’s what we were fighting about. Like I need him to tell me how to dress. The guy would walk around in socks and sandals if I didn’t complain about it. He acts like my father, but one dad is enough for me. I’m a grown-ass woman. I don’t need his approval.”